I just got abused and i'm too scared to make a rational decision. Any advice?

So I'm in the military and i take care of my husband who got out a year ago. He does the bare minimum since we got married. He was reserved while he was enlisted and I was still the main provider. He has the weird since of entitlement like he expects me to work, cook, and clean while he gets high, runs up the bills, and keeps the house a mess. I constantly tell him word for word what i'm feeling but he doesn't care so as long as his wants and needs get met he doesn't care how. So yesterday i got off work and when i came home the house looks gross and smells like cat litter and i got home about 1500 and he was still sleeping like wth get the fuck up. He slept all night, then all morning, then was trying to sleep into the afternoon. So i tell him to wake up and do shit and he flips shit, he breaks my computer punches a hole in the door, closes all the windows, cuts the heater on and then locks me in the bedroom so i can't get out. He is screaming at the top of his lungs and grabs me by my injured arm that i just had surgery on and yanks it. So now i'm scared and don't know what to do. If i call the cops then i will lose everything and my unit with get involved and he will end up in prison. He needs help but i don't know how to help him. So i've been leaving to gym or to the park just to buy time so i don't have to be in the same place for long periods of time. He drives for uber and i start feeling sick with the thought that he will be coming home. I need help and just someone to hear my story. I'm feeling hopeless.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • he needs medical attention ASAP... get him a treatment

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally I think he deserves to go prison. That way his ass will learn a thing or two. You said he drives for Uber so he's kinda at least doing that much but it's still not a lot since you pick and choose when you want to drive for Uber. He sounds insanely immature. Even if you don't call the police on him you still need to kick his ass to the curb.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You won't lose everything first of all. And yes your unit will get involved as they should. he's letting his life get out of control, dont be dragged down by dead weight.

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  • y dont u leave such man?

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What Girls Said 5

  • Leave him for your own good!

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  • I'm sure you won't lose everything. If your unit gets involved it's probably for the best, because It's never ok for anyone to just abuse someone. Hope everything works out for you.

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    • I mean i will lose my animals, they will move me back into the barracks, they will all want to be involved, and then they will probably make me go to a whole lot of counseling. It's just a really hard spot.

    • Well, you have to decide what you think is best for yourself. Are you willing to deal with counseling and get help with that or are you going to tolerate possibly more abuse.. I would, personally, go with the counseling route because you never know what could happen. The abuse can possibly get worse and worse if you don't say anything.

  • Get away from that place, find someone pro psychologist to support you and then watch together with her what step to do next...

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    • First you need to help yourself and after that when other wants help, then help that other. But YOU MUST BE STRONG FIRST!

  • He is turning his boredom, depression on you as anger. I actually recommend talking to your base chaplain.

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    • This sounds like a great idea. Its the weekend and i feel like i'm losing control i have been having panic attacks and my anxiety is out the roof right now, then everything is closed so thats why i'm online trying to get some advice because i feel so numb and angry

  • Let his bitch ass go to prison. He treats you like shit? He deserves bad things to happen to him. Stop coddling this good for nothing narcissistic cunt 😐

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