Should I say it or not smart?

My ex and I dated for almost 11 months. During that time we were very close and did some stuff. We never went all the way, but we did do stuff that was a first for both of us. We have been broken up for over 3 months now but it didn't end badly, she said she loved me as we broke up, and I did too, but we decided it would be best if we split because she said she just wasn't happy. So I of course want her to be happy, so I let her go. We haven't really talked, other then a few days since and we have said happy birthday to eachother on our birthdays, so we haven't been completely 100% no contact. But question is, recently and a bit over the time since we have been apart I've been thinking about the stuff we did and been feeling kinda bad. I don't know, guess I feel guilty taking her first time away with the stuff we did. I've never been like other guys that brag and talk a bunch about all the do. So i guess I'm wondering if it would be stupid to say sorry? Sorry for taking that first experience away from her and all? I haven't thought about wording or anything of how I would say it, but I'm just wondering if I should or not. I know it's not something that guys do a lot, but I just feel like I should. I don't know if it's a good idea, a bad idea. I don't wanna make her feel bad or make her sorry or anything, and I definitely don't wanna make something worse, like I hope to be her friend still even though that may take a bit, I'm just wondering if it would be alright. We are both strong Christians and at the time it seemed like the right thing, but I just feel the need to say sorry. What do you think? Thanks.


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  • It's completely ok to have a first relationship which turns out to be uninteresting. It's definitely NOTHING you should apologize for, i mean most first relationships end in a break-up and/or turn out to be a weird and “experimental“ relationship or they even turn out to be a bad relationship. It's completely natural. By the way reflecting on a previous relationship is rarely a good idea, for example: You break up with your partner and you think about the past relationship you might think something like “ohh everything was perfect“ but in reality maybe not everything was perfect. And it can be the other way around: You could possibly reflect on your relationship and think “this relationship was a complete desaster“ but maybe there were some good moments you could've forgotten.

  • say it. you might be surprised by her response.


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