Is this a good reason to break up?

My boyfriend and I got into a fight two days ago. It started with him re-telling me a story being at a party. He was comparing me to some drunken girl and how insufferable she was just like when I am drunk, and that the last time I drank I kept falling over, being loud, etc (I was only drunk twice in a span of two years)

At first it was funny and I was trying not to take it to heart, but I told him it's not true about me when I'm drunk. However, then he was getting increasingly annoyed that I was not agreeing with him. He called two of his friends during our argument to see if he was right. The first couldn't remember and the second disagreed with him and said I was chill and level headed and adorable.

Depsite that, my partner told me he refused to continue the story unless I agreed with him. He would talk over me as would I. It ended up ending with me and him yelling at each other. He had asked me a question and I was getting around to answer it. He asked me to repeat his question and then answer it. As I was saying, "your question was" he was already cutting me off and telling me it wasn't the question before I could even get to it.

I got in his face because I was increasingly frustrated and he was purposely cutting me off. He put his hands on me, and told me to get the f out his house and that I should of never went in his face. Even his aunt walked in to asked what was going on and he told her nothing and that I was leaving. He kicked me out and told me to not f'ing talk to him. It's been two days and he hasn't said anything. Did I do anything wrong? What the heck am I supposed to do, i feel anxiety. I'm not excusing what I did but I can't put the guilt and blame all on me.

Updates:
Just to clarify, I have only been drunk twice in my entire life. I am not a drink, let alone a social one. I do not seek to get drunk; in those instances I just so happened to drink. Otherwise, I do not generally like it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • To be honest he shouldn't be comparing you to other girls, that's bound to get any woman's back up , most people are out of control when drink is involved trust me I have the t-shirt lol but it's no reason to break up if you haven't changed from the first day you met then he should take you for how you are , it must of been a bad experience for him to tell you or he's just trying to control you , everyone has their own mind and free to ask whatever they want , you shouldn't of got up in his face as that could of ended a differant way but he's obviously annoyed that you did , just imagine if the shoe was on the other foot how would you feel?

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    • I get it, and I am not excusing my behavior but he started the fight and he was purposely not listening to me

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    • So send a message or wait for him to cool off?

    • send the message but leave the rest up to him all you can do is apologize for your half of the argument the rest is on him

Most Helpful Girl

  • He sounds immature, like he is hot headed. You have the right to say how you feel, and if you agree or not. He might be a narcissistic person and I would be cautious, because those type don't give a crap about how you feel because they don't understand feelings. You might want to just state " i felt unloved when you compared me" and leave it at that. You have your rights to have feelings and opinions but so does he. Let him contact you first. Continue living your life happily because that is what pisses of the narcissistic person.

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    • Thank you, and yes I think he is hot headed even though he won't admit it,

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • Sounds like a dumb thing to fight over (to me) but meh, people are generally better off single anyway. Just find someone else if single life doesn't appeal to you. Sounds like the beginnings of a shitty relationship you were better off without anyway.

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    • It wasn't shitty, just frustrating. Lack of communication.

  • can you repeat the question by starting with "your question was "😂 you are both childish , I never heard of such a game before... 😂 I am not going to judge any of the character in your story , just best of luck and drink less.

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    • But I don't drink. I only got drunk twice in a span of two years. And I wasn't even drunk, just tipsy.

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    • This has everything to do with the argument about his opinion of me when I only drunk only twice in my life, me having to disagree with his opinion and him trying to make me agree with him despite him being wrong.

    • it is normal in an argument , if you are unaware of it , people do it when they know they will loose it if they let you talk...

  • dont let anyone tell u how to live ur life, ur wrongs or rights are ur story and u have to live it ur own.. Your mainly wrong is that u re feeling so sad about this. if someone doesn't want u in his life guess what ur life will be much better without him.. the only one u need is urself.. if i was on your position i wouldn't let him criticise my life and the way i got drunk and all these stuff..

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    • I don't want to paint myself that I am a social drinker, because I barely drink. What I am feeling now is pure anxiety.

    • its natural because u think u did something wrong and u lost ur man.. but really u didn't lost someone who doesn't respect u.. u just won noone who makes ur life miserable.. its his fault not only to argue but to treat his girlfriend like that.. he doesn't deserve ur anxiety.. stop thinking bout it just relax and smile to urself for being u

  • Your fault i believe. Some guys dont know how to be honest to girls in fear of hurting their feelings. You need to learn how to take criticism better before you try and date. I believe you're not in a mental state that can handle dating quality men.

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    • I'm so when he's being dishonest about how I am and I tell him he's wrong, I'm supposed to take it when he yells at me and forces me to agree with him?

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    • Well thats even better then my suggestion. It was kind of insultng giving you advice like that. You are way more rational than i thought. Im sorry for being irrational with you.

    • It's okay, no hard feelings and thank you for the advice. I really appreciate a second perspective on this matter. It's just the panic attack that are killing me.

  • sounds the immaturity of him and the harassing of you why would you want

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    • I don't know anymore

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    • I understand all of that baby but why would he want to do that why would he want to start a fight

    • if you put his hands on you it's time to go anyway girl

  • Its not your fault. He seems to be an amateur guy who doesn't know how to treat a woman. Get rid of him ASAP

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    • He's only a jerk when in a heated argument. Otherwise, he is loving most of the time.

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    • @fueledbythc Too sensitive? Care to elaborate?

    • Getting mad at comments that are obviously harmless, any sort of whining (if you think there's such a thing as cute whining you're sadly mistaken and that builds anger that most men supress until they explode), over reading a guys actions like harmless looking at a random woman and thinking he's checking her out (jealousy), being dramatic in any sort of way.

      Just be 100% chill and ghost if they are dicks.

  • Yes so u can give me urs snapchat and we can have fun😉😂

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  • the reason should be if you dont want a future with that person...

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    • We do want a future together, tho.

    • ok well saying that means you accept how he is

  • Get another boyfriend quick before your looks go.

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  • Yes it is.

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  • Honestly, I get why you're upset. I hate it so much when someone makes fun of me for absolutely no reason, and then calls his friends to make fun of me together? It's a good reason to break up.

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    • His friends didn't make fun of me, they just did not agree with his statements.

  • Drunken women are really a turn off.. srsly. They start to have hoeing tendencies. I remember I was with a girl for 2 months of relationship , she got drunk and told me everything about her ex and then he also called me with his ex's name.. She even started dancing and kissing some other random guy and I just left her there. I'm sure she must have gotten raped by those men.

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    • But I don't even drink. Only been drunk twice in my entire life time. I'm barely a social drinker.

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    • Again, I didn't lose control when I drank.

    • Ok sorry

What Girls Said 11

  • yes, drunk people are a turn-off... but so are asshats who insist on talking over you and forcing you to agree with him, AND ESPECIALLY not someone who puts his hands on you. guy does that to me even once, and he's out the door.

    this guy sounds like an immature hot-headed piece of shit: not someone i'd want to be with, and i hope you don't stay with him either.

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    • But I was only drunk twice in my entire life. I don't even drink socially enough.

  • What was his need to put you down for? If you were drunk you usually do things you don't remember and wouldn't normally do so why make a point of it and make you feel bad? Especially as your saying it's not something you do weekly that is of a concern.

    Even then if that's what you choose to do and your not endangering yourself or anyone and just being silly having fun why's he being the fun police and making you feel guilty for having fun.

    This shouldn't have even been a conversation let alone where it ended up.

    Do not give in and let him make you feel bad by his ignoring you so you give in and run / crawl back. Stand your ground you did nothing wrong you were being made fun of and that's not ok.

    Honestly after what he did can you even see yourself being with someone like that?

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    • He is only a jerk when heated in an argument. Otherwise, he is loving and a good guy most of the time.

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    • Well, I sent a text asking if he was still upset or if it was a good time to talk. It's not about being right or wrong because we were both wrong. I'm tired of staying mad, and if he wants to break up I'd rather it be now than have me wait anxiously for nothing. I only sent one, and that will be all.

    • And what's happened since then? How you feeling?

  • Iv been in many of these before and id give it about a week or two and he will started talking again. Look honestly this is what an adult relationship is like and i remember screaming and losing my sh*t many times but once we both calmed down we spoke about it. I dont think you should break up about it... i do think he should never have spoken to you like that and that he should apologize

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    • He is too macho to apologize.

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    • Then go out and make new friends or start a new hobbie. His not the sun moon and stars you are so it starts and ends with you.

    • Thank you

  • That's literally so petty, not worth breaking up over but honestly your boyfriend is so rude and childish and no you did nothing wrong, your allowed to have an opinion and disagree with his, he shouldn't be pressuring you to agree just because he thinks he was right

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    • So then what would you do if you were me?

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    • We were both wrong, but it's about moving on and talking things out.

  • If you're already wondering if you should leave him, you should leave him.

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  • Regardless of said situation. respect is a vital part of a relationship. to yell at each other is one thing, to put you outta the house tho... Shiiit, Fuck That i'd be gone. ✌✌✌

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  • He shouldn't be comparing and that's not a reason to break up

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  • find yourself a new guy. A good guy

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    • He's only a jerk when he is upset and heated in an argument. Otherwise, he is a good guy and he is loving. I don't know what to do

    • thats how it always seems. when me and my boyfriend argue we ended up always making jokes and laughing at the end. It does not go for days not at all. we both know that its stupid to fight and carry on. when he thinks he was too rude and mean to me he apologises and some time cries loooooool but what I am saying is for me I don't, I repeat I do not like arguments that is over the top and one sided. It turns me off. But that is just me I guess. He has not even call you or anything its like he is expecting you to apologize. Trying to guilt trip you. sorry but no

  • That's a dumb reason to fight. And he's dumb. I say break up

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  • You're both childish and yes you did do something wrong, you got in his face!

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    • But he has every right to force me to admit to something that isn't true?

  • what a fucking asshole. leave his ass, it will only get worse. if that's how he acts when he's mad you don't want him in your life. you want a guy who can calmly explain how they feel without blowing up in your face. you didn't do anything to extreme, he was being an asshole

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    • But we are both at fault. I texted him that we should talk and he's been ignoring me.

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    • well, good luck. i do think it is possible to make up after a bad fight if you are both committed to working through it.

    • I am, doesn't seem like he is.

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