Help with closure?

I feel like things ended too abruptly between my ex-fwb and me. No real reason given for why I ended it except a text that told him I just couldn't deal with it being a secret anymore. We both knew this was coming. This had been my third time ending things with him. I developed feelings for him, told him I hated how we had to keep our f. w. b. relationship a secret and that was basically it. Now I can't help feeling like I cut it off too soon without giving him enough of a reason why. The catch is that he always said I didn't belong to him so I could leave if I wanted to. But he still asks about me to this day. I've thought of writing him a letter to explain but felt it might open another door for him to pursue me. In it, I'll explain why things ended the way they did and how I allowed my feelings to get in the way. A part of me isn't sure if this is the right move.

So, what do you think I should do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've read your question and the reply. Although he said no to your questions about him being with someone. I feel that he is lying when he answered you. Unless he is embarrassed about where be lives. I can't think of any other reason to keep you away. If there isn't a wife or husband at home or the bf/gf. then why never let you come over. I have a dive of a place. I'm on the road most of the time so I don't need anything special at this time. I've had people over As for writing the letter. I would caution against doing that. I think you would just be prolonging the hurt and pain. Yes it means you will have a lot of different feelings flood you at times. Unfortunately that's part of the breakup process. To me it sounds like you were developing thoughts of wanting THe Commitment from him. There's nothing wrong with that. No one wants to live or be alone without that special person in your life. I know I don't. Take some time for yourself. Then you can go out and the right guy will find you.

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    • I've thought about what you said and I agree with you on everything. I ripped that letter up then tossed it in the trash. It'll be like rubbing salt in the wound. Just gotta let him go and move on. Thank you for your answer. It really helped me a lot.

    • I'm glad I was able to help. if ever you want to. feel free to message me and I will reply as soon as I can

    • I Thank you for the Mho

Most Helpful Girl

  • Secrets are never fun especially when you want to do public things. It was smart of you to cut it off if you know he didn't feel the same. I think you should let the chips fall where they may, but why did you have to keep it a secret?

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    • We both wanted very different things, obviously.
      He was so insistent on keeping it secret. We did work in the same place but it's not like he was my boss or vice versa. I didn't even get to hang out with him outside of work. He wouldn't tell me where he lived either. I think it's because he was with someone and I was just the side chick - but when I straight up asked if he was seeing someone he said no. No to being with someone and no to having sex with someone. I told him that it wasn't my place to ask but I just didn't want to be the girl he's cheating with. I had a real hang up on that so maybe that's why he kept it secret too in case I'd stop because of it -- because, to be honest, I would've.

    • Possibly! listen to your gut really.

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