I broke up with my girlfriend - I can't give her another chance..

i broke up with my girl this time.. last 2 months my girl broke up with me and dated a guy for only 2 days.. she went back to me cause she said I am really the guy she really loves.. I accepted her apology and went back with her.. but the other night, my friend told me that he found my girl outside the house of another guy this time., I confronted her and said she met this guy through text.. well it p*sses me off because she had the energy to see that guy when before that I asked her to see me which she never did... as our argument went on, its like she was sorry for flirting with the guy.. damn.. she said to me that she did it cause she feels I was cheating when in fact I never did..take not of "feels" because there was no reason or evidence that I cheated at all, I was just busy at school and she knows that.. she was asking for another chance,actually for the last 4th chance(cause she flirted for 4 guys including this throughout our relationship).. I really love her. do you think I really need to give her another chance? she seems serious and she cried ...

please be free to comment if you need info or my story is to bias..

i just need a little advice or something that will say that I did the right thing.. please... tnx


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Most Helpful Girl

  • although it is not the right thing to trust her after all these chances that she did ruin and didn't respect the commitment she has with you. I think right now she is noway a trust worthy and noway you trust her again at this time at least.

    and the better is to leave her and move on with you life, and find someone who deserves you and deserves your true love and loyalty. but this is so stereotyping, which I don't like to follow such so basic rules and attitudes that we just memorize and never understands, you have feelings you still have the ability to forgive so why not !

    if you still love her, and still have feelings for the girl, you still want to give it a try, and another chance and have hope that she did change and not going to repeat it again and she is going to be different and stop flirting with other guys.

    you have to talk with her and tell her that's her LAST CHANCE by all means and if she messed things up again and miss this chance she can forget all about you.

    tell her you are not trusting her anymore as you used to trust her in the past, and she has to rebuild the trust that she lost and make you trust her again and believe she is true this time. make it clear that this chance is to SEE IF SHE DID CHANGE OR NOT, so if you figured out she is still the same then its all over.

    i can feel you want the girl actually and you want her back with you, for your own sake and JUST FOR YOU cause this is what you really want to do, give her the chance and don't be hard on yourself.

    but let it be the last and make it clear its the last for you and for her...

    you got to tell her if you are cheating on her you wouldn't give all these chances that she ruined and that it would be so easy for you to move on.

    show you are trust worthy and she is the one that is not but still you trusted her although you know she is flirting with others. you have to talk about it in a very nice way and don't be tough...

    it has to be just a conversation, to get thing back together, and not a fight that could end up everything.

    you can always remember that the girl didn't CHEAT on you, she was flirting with other guys...and yes it is so wrong and never okay to do it. but it is never a-real-cheating-on-you-action

    i really hope this helps,

    good luck

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What Girls Said 32

  • Some girls, they can cry so easily, and because of that, it makes the guys feel guilty and forgive us. You seem like the nice guy, and a girl like her, it seems like she's manipulating that nice nature of yours. If I were you, I wouldn't deal with that kind of crap. I mean, 4th time?! Are you serious, not even the saying, " Third time's the charm." Would work on that.

    But if you really love her, you can work it out. If not, I guess you'll have to either live with that on and off relationship. Or you could take the easy yet painful way out.

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  • Although tears can express a lot of feeling, they're just a natural part of a break up and they go great with the feeling of losing someone. You say you love her, but are you in love with her?

    I say give her space. Get out and maybe start dating again. You never know...but there is always someone out there better than the last. Most people don't like to hear that though so they stay stuck in the past. Unhealthy.

    As for the flirting, it sometimes comes naturally for a woman. But her meeting up with people and taking the time to talk to them would definantly throw some red flags. I say that because I wouldn't want to be with someone like that. Becuse maybe THEY are the ones not ready for a relationship.

    Decisions are hard. Just be sure you make the best one for YOURSELF and not for her.

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    • I agree with the flirty thing... its a red flag.. that was my point, she was flirting.. tnx for the opinion,

  • IMO, here is the important question: How many chances are you going to give her before you draw the line? I think for the most part people deserve a second chance unless they cheat, lie or betray me. Your ex is asking for a 4th chance? Why didn't she learn after the 2nd and 3rd? Is it that 'difficult' for her not to flirt when she is involved with you? When you love someone, have respect, maturity and have learned from your mistakes then you tend not to repeat them. She hasn't learned her lesson so I support your decision. Had you give her a 4th chance, mark my words, she would have done it again. She can cry until the cows come home but it doesn't change the fact she hasn't learned from her past mistakes, look at her actions.

    I think it's time to move on.

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  • "She said to me that she did it cause she feels I was cheating when in fact I never did."

    Exactly. And she could truly make up a better excuse for her immature actions.

    After what she's done - a few times, not simply once - it shouldn't even matter if she loves you. If she did, she wouldn't cheat on you for a start. Or maybe she just likes the attention and drama. But do you really want to be with someone like that?

    Tell her you did give her a chance. I also think you deserve someone better. If she wanted more of your attention or time, there ARE better ways to ask for it instead of just going off and flirting with random boys.

    Don't wait for her to change. She might never.

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  • second chances are ok, but not a 3rd 4th. trust me. my ex boyfriend never cheated on me either but he broke up with me about 4 times and every time he convinced me that this was it, but it never was. do yourself a favor and MOVE ON NOW! I wish I had after the 2nd chance. if she hasn't learned her lesson now, she never will! good luck dude

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  • Break up, tears will be shed that's natural BUT she is using you as a crutch while she looks for someone else. For your own sake you deserve better. She is saying she thought you were cheating because she is trying to turn the situation. There. Its really really really hard to break up with someone you love but, has to be done at times when it isn't working out.

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  • ugh no it's gonna hurt her but this is it I think. she's hurting you.

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  • yupp ima girl and I can tell you right now...i can cry right now if I wanted to,

    like people say "once a cheater, always a cheater" you shouldn't have taken her back after the 2nd time. and it would be dumb if you took her back the 4th or 5th time. you can find a girl, espeacially since your a very careing and forgiving guy. don't let this girl break you down. have a long talk with her about why your leaving and make sure everything okay with you guys. and go out and find yourself a GREAT girl C:

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    • I agree with you completely...girls can cry on the spot when they are in a desperate situation...now, I don't think once a cheater always, because I can say from personal experience, I would never cheat on my husband, but I have cheated in the past...people can change, sometimes it just takes the right person to persuade...

    • How did you cheat vkbarrett?

  • Uh hell no. I wouldn't date her after all the crap she put me through. Rise above because she knows you love her and will go soft on her so she does these things to push you and get your full attention on only her. Not worth putting yourself through her B.S.

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  • Don't give her another chance simply for the fact of she'll do it once she'll do it again and you have proof of that I've been there a guy I was with for three years the last year he changed I denied and denied to myself what he was doing even though he and the other girl reminded me constantly after a year of that no matter how much it hurt I moved on cried a lot screamed I hated him EVEN had nightmares but it did pass now I'm engaged my fist baby on the way and I'm in college I have a VERY blessed life now and if I would have staid with him I would have honestly died physically or mental!

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  • okay, well it seems to me that she is testing you. like she wants to see if you would care enough to get mad. girls are so confusing... Just make sure you are doing the right thing for YOU, not her... If she's done this already multiple times, she's bound to do it again and again.. I think you guys should take a break in your relationship. If you still "love" her, then you can try again. Hope this helped. :)

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  • I am in the same situation, except it's my boyfriend. He has not "cheated" this time that I know of. But he has text flirted with girls. The other night I got some text from a girl telling me that my boyfriend is not loyal and that he has been cheating on me. The person went on and on about it. Of course they would not tell me who they were. I told that them that without proof I wasn't going to believe it.

    I, much like you, give more to my relaionship then my boyrfriend is lately. He says the right things, but then his actions don't follow.

    Good luck:) and remember you deserve to be treated with respect.

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  • No more chances. If you keep letting her walk all over you, she is going to think it's okay. But it's not. I broke off a five year relationship and a two year engagement for the same reasons, it's hard, and he still want's to talk to me all the time, but I know in my heart that I am doing the right thing. There is a saying, I can't remember exactly how it goes but it's something like if you kick a dog once it will forgive you and come back to you, but if you kick it a lot, sooner or later it's never going to come back. I think we are both at that point where we should never go back.

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  • Some people (guys and girls) think it's fine to flirt with other people when you're in a relationship. It's not. If it was a one-off then you could forgive her since she didn't actually cheat. Since she keeps doing it there's no point being with her. You're going to get hurt and chances are one day she'll take things further than flirting. Find someone who respects you

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  • if you love her then accept it. and if she really loves you then she wouldn't do that.

    girls like to make their guy jealous sometimes. sorry for that... but it can be amusing.

    but if she hurted you really badly then it wouldn't be worth it.

    hope I helped! ;)

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  • i would flirt with other guys if I thought my boyfriend was cheating. but I wouldn't touch them. you should talk with her and tell her if she wants another chance then she has to come clean and tell you what's the deal. from there you can use your best judgement. I think she's just taking advantage of the fact that she knows you will take her back knowing you have done it 4 times.

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  • You should keep her out of your life. Because she isn't the one that will make you happy. If she truly loved you she wouldn't be flirting with other guys. She would look yes but not out right flirt with them, she has no respect for you. That isn't a good relationship to be in. Because you will end up either thinking she is cheating or find her cheating on you. Have respect for yourself and keep her kicked to the curb. Good luck to you.

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  • Well if she was sorry than she wouldn't do it. I mean if you love someone enough you would break the habit and maybe she cried because she was guilty and she knows why she did it and that she was wrong and you might actually leave her. I'm a nice person so like you, either way if you stick with her or not you might still have regrets.

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  • I've done the exact same thing she has and I've had it done to me. Don't give her another chance. No matter how much she cried or how much you think she means it she didn't. If she really loved you then she wouldn't be flirting with other guys. She is insecure and needs attention and love from more than one guy to feel happy. You're better off just letting go before you get hurt any more.

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  • I wonder about this. It's obvious that you love her...but from her behaviour, I would question whether she indeed loves you. She may be crying etc, however she has learnt that she can always get another chance by doing so. Time to have a serious talk, let her go, and move on. Good luck!

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  • dnt give her another chance yeah she cried but that dnt really mean anything and if she relly loved you she would cheat and if you accept her then all she going to do is do it again once you cheat you cnt go back to bein faithful sumtimes I know its hard because you love her but their is another girl out there for you that will treat you how you need to be treated and give you what your lookin for all she is user.

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  • Any girl can cry at the drop of a dime.. You seem like a great guy with a big heart and take it from someone who has been there don't take her back. I know you love her and it will be hard but people don't change over night. You need someone who isn't going to hurt u, or cheat on u.. just let this girl go.

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  • let her go, you deserve better. I believve in 2nd chanes but after a while you can tell she's not genuine.&believe girls that love their guys can't stop thinking about them, they don't have extra time to focus on others.

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  • Yeah, my ex cried when I broke up with him.

    But he was also seeing five other girls on the side.

    Crocodile tears work wonders.

    Don't take her back, she'll only hurt you again.

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    • 5 girls?? one heck of a guy

    • Show All
    • Elc, no offense but that's NOT how you find the right girl.

    • Collect and select.. that's how he meant...

  • Well, probably if you give her another chance she will end up doin the same thing to you again, so I guess that you shouldn't give her another chance if you don't want this to keep on happenin.

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  • sometimes people say sorry because they feel guilty, doesn't mean they won't do it again

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  • honestly I would get rid of the drama...you know the source so get rid of it!

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  • If you can't give her another chance, they why are even posting this. Just find another woman & eat her out every chance you get so she doesn't turn to other men. Good Luck.

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  • Try getting better grammar. :/

    No, she's not worth it.

    Get a better whore, bro.

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  • If she's flirted with the other guys like 4 times and you keep forgiving her, she's going to think it's really okay for her and that there are no consequences for her actions.

    If she cried, you cannot tell if they're genuine or just a ploy to suck you back in. I know this because I admit to having cried to get my best guy friend and my ex to forgive me and feel bad and apologize for hurting me. Well, it was real mostly but I added a bit more to reel them in. So for all you know, she could be lying to you.

    And if she's showing up at other guy's houses, you obviously can't trust her. And honestly, if she doesn't find you to be enough, and goes off flirting with other guys, then obviously she's not worth your time because she doesn't appreciate you and you deserve someone who does.

    I hope this answers your question and good luck figuring out the right way to go with this:)

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What Guys Said 19

  • She knows you weren't cheating my friend. She's using that as an excuse.

    I've been in a simular situation before and the very best thing you can do is run, far away. Just tell her you want to part ways and head for the hills. If you are anything like I 'used to be' you might do the exact opposite which is extremely destructive. In fact it caused me to drop out of school and get into some pretty stupid things that I will not mention. However since then I have grown some nuts and some self respect and I won't take that kind of nonsense from anyone again.

    As hard as it is you have to accept that you don't love her that much, you're in love with the idea of making an honest person out of her. You can't enter a relationship with anyone hoping that they will change because they wont. And no I don't know her and there are no buts. It doesn't matter what minor details you know it doesn't change anything this is just the way it is.

    I've used this line a lot today but I'm going to use it again. Nobody can respect you if you cannot respect yourself. So respect yourself enough to know that you deserve better and remove her ass from your life. The rejection will drive her mad and she will probably go to some great lengths to either make you jealous to see if it still bothers you, or to get you back in love with her. Just stay strong and ignore her childishness. If she does move on an forget about you then that's a bonus, don't feel down about that. It is the ultimate goal.

    The last time a girl treated me like a complete dog she made me feel incredibly small. Calling me pathetic, flirting with other guys etc. Eventually I had enough, I knew her best friend had eyes for me so I ditched that girl, invited her friend over and we had sex 3 times in one night. I never told the other girl, I just looked at her and laughed every time I saw her and she had absolutely no idea what to do with herself. I'm not entirely proud of that but I felt on some level I stood up for myself.

    I know this really screws with you emotionally and you probably will end up getting back with her, especially since this seems to be your first emotional vampire. Just know that it is inevitably doomed with a person like that.

    Good luck.

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  • she says she thought you were cheating: because she was cheating dummy. lets pretend even for one second in a fairy world she wasnt, what's her logic, or lack thereof..."i was just talking to this super hunk of a guy to make you jealous so you would give me more attention" no way...she cheated a bunch. Your the bitch. Wake up, man up.

    She said she loved you after a couple nights, of probably some fantastic sex. Lets clarify: she's really saying " I though for a second there, that I, this average girl, would have a chance with this guy who is way more amazing then you. The joke was on me though, he was way out of my league, but I naively thought he would give me a little more then his huge cock, but I was wrong. I'm sorry I realized my mistake I belong with a guy more like you...at least while I keep looking for a guy that I'm actually attracted too" And deep down what's she's really really thinking, "I wish my boyfriend wasn't such a woman, and keeps letting me walk all over him...Im actually kinda feeling bad now...hes so pathetic." Sorry bro, wake up, man up.

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  • You did the right thing, and if she says she only did that stuff because she thought you where cheating, the she either already has or was thinking about doing so. Guy she's trying to hit you with mind games , don't fall for it , she's justifying her actions and/or is trying to minipulate you into taking her back so move on you deserve better, and I have had many friends in the same possition as you , they ended up broken hearted.

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  • She's a witch. Don't give her another chance. Even you think its painful know in a few weeks or months you won't regret it because if you give her this chance and then the next chance, chance, chance, chance...you see? You'll destroy yourself then.

    So break up with her.

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  • Don't do it man. Giving her another chance is just setting yourself up for heartache. She clearly isn't committed so I think it's time to let her go.

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  • Hello,

    shes a using child who lies through her teeth.. get rid of her

    Good Luck

    Chris

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    • The question you really need to ask yourself is this.. How man women give guys a 2nd chance?

    • In my opinion women don't give men 2nd chances.. they simply hold on until they get a better deal if the reason they left wasn't becouse they already found one.. if your bumped then you NEED to move on.. delete there number, and avoid contact

    • Thats hard but you're probably right.. problem I'm not the person who easily let go.. I'm a sentimental person that at least I don't want people to leave.. at least we can be friends or so..

  • No more chances. She isn't willing to change but she wants you to fall back on. Don't be the patsy.

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  • I'm sorry Jasper5566, but it sounds like your girlfriend, oops sorry, ex-girlfriend, is a whore. You can't put up with that kind of behaviour Jaspy, and I'm glad you dumped her, I really am.

    If she comes crawling back to you (as most women of her sort eventually will) you must not accept her! She has shown she doesn't deserve you, and you deserve better than her.

    Don't worry young man, there are plenty more fish in the sea ;)

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  • she's no good...drop her for good...she's either a ho or a fickle-minded loony, either way, no good for you because you seem like a decent guy...drop her and find a good girl...

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  • Grow a pair and tell her to f*** off and die.

    You're being used buddy, just being honest here. You can hate me for it but I'm just trying to watch your balls.

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  • Dump her in a spiteful way!

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  • move on bro, take a brake once you recover enter the dating scene again, you will be surprised how many good and better people they are

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  • leave her and move on, if you continue and she does it again you'll look like a looser, no offence, so best move on, and date others...you'll forget her eventually,

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  • Screw it, she has no respect for you. You're her 'safety net' if it doesn't work out with the guy(s).

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  • HONESTLY I WOULDN'T TAKE HER BACK CAUSE ITS NOT THE FIRST OR SECOND IT'S THE FOURTH TIME THAT MEANS SHE WILL KEEP ON DOING IT... SHE'S GOING TO KEEP LYING TO YOU ALL THE TIME You SHOULD LET GO OF HER FOR GOOD...

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  • Simple, get rid of her. Find the next one.

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  • Don't give her another chance dude she's playing you

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  • No man don't she's playing you

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  • I wouldn't give her a 2nd chance not 4th. Let the whore go and go find a new girl to devote your energy.

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