You feel betrayed in your relationship. Which of the following would you most likely feel and do?

Within your relationship, your partner has somehow lied / cheated / been unfaithful to you, or at least not totally honest to you and deceptive / manipulative.

Your partner still loves you strongly, is hurt and is deeply sorry, but at the same time frustrated and angry at you because you no longer trust them.

Regardless, you are still in love with your partner and were in a perfect relationship before they did that to you.

Which of the answers below is most likely how you would feel and what you would do?

  • Feel that the hurt outweighs the love and just break up with them / cut contact for good.
    Vote A
  • Feel hurt and think that the relationship should end but stay as friends, until either, your feelings disappear and move on, or you work on the relationship again.
    Vote B
  • Feel forgiveness, work on the relationship to trust them again, give them another chance / try to fix the major problem of why they did it and if they will change.
    Vote C
  • Feel some dislike for your partner, but won't let them go as you still love each other. Will think of a way to get revenge or retaliation on them to make them realise how you felt when they betrayed you.
    Vote D
  • Feel indifferent about the betrayal as long as they are sorry. Stay in the relationship but with more distance and altered rules.
    Vote E
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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49

Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally there are things that can be forgiven, it comes down to what they did, and if they are truly sorry and have the motivation to fix their problems and become a better person out of it.

    Not everyone is perfect, and some people do things out of fear, or insecurities. Not saying what they did is right, depending what they did, but not everyone has the same reasons for what they did.

    There are things however I cannot forgive, like if someone cheats on me with someone else, that to be is one of the ultimate in betrayals.

    I'm a very forgiving and understanding person, but there are things I do not forgive.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • i have to agree with aly-marie and sirbaron. Love is forgiveness and there are extreme differences in the level of those problems. Cheating is unforgivable because that's the highest level of distrust, lying is a lesser extreme, especially depending on the lie. It is really up to you to determine how forgiving you want to be. however I will say this, true love will push through the smaller problems and it will always seem like those problems are much bigger than they really are... if both of them really love each other, then they will push through the problem. the partner should not get angry or frustrated because this only hinders the process of rebuilding the trust. He should be caring and do what it takes to make the other partner feel more secure.

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  • Cut off all contact. I don't need or want people I can't trust in my life.

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  • it depends on how he/she betrayed you. I had a girlfriend that kissed my brother in MY CONDO while I was there. I was in another room passed out sleeping. This was 2 hours after I had sex with her.

    My bro confessed it to me. Fortunately I wasn't that attached to her. We were in a "open relationship" I was kinda "on the fence". I cut her out and never looked back. I still see her on fb, etc. She never admitted fault. Which p*ssed me off.

    I was disappointed but I had no trouble dumping her. I had known her for a long time, but was only dating for a few weeks. However if we were in a serious relationship this might be different.

    The thing that made it so easy to cut her off is she NEVER ADMITTED FAULT. Never. It would actually be tougher for me if she was sorry. Even if she was I would probably stopped dating her. But I would of kept her as a friend.

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  • If betrayal you mean cheating or making me feel vulnerable against my will, then I guess I turn cold hearted. I couldn't feel comfortable after I've already placed my trust in someone and they turned around and walked all over it. I couldn't stick around because I would always be wondering "If she did it before, could she do it again?". So yeah, I'd cut all ties and move right along.

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  • Everyone has moments of weakness and makes mistakes! The trick is to discuss what started the prob. and see if it can be fixed before any choices are made about ending the relationship!

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  • I anwser A. When I'm in a relationship I give effort into making it work with compromises and everything else. Now when someone cheats or lies to you in that relationship then they don't respect you. If they did then they wouldn't of done what they did. They might try to talk to you to get you to forgive them but there is no reason for cheating or lying. If they feel that they can't be faithful then they should of ended the relationship already. To me by forgiving them is letting them slap you right across your face.

    I've read some of the other postings here and I see that some people like C better. These to me are the people that get hurt over and over again because they forgive the first time and then they're partners do it again, and for whatever reason they give them another chance for the same reason they did the first time. Thinking that they can change and work on the problem again but it continues to repeat.

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  • i would cut all contact.

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  • I always thought that my answer would be A.

    But you never know what your reaction will be until it actually happens to you. You may THINK you know, but believe me - you DON'T.

    It did happen to me... but my love for my girl is so strong and true, that my response (after a lot of soul-searching) was C.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I chose C because I believe that love is forgiveness, I wouldn't give up on someone I loved until I felt it was completely hopeless. Might get me into trouble sometimes, but that's how I react.

    However, the only part that would make me hesitate would be if they were frustrated that I didn't trust them. I guess since I've been in that position in the past (where I was dishonest), I feel like once you mess up their trust, you don't have the right to expect to get it back again. You have to EARN it, that's what I did; not once did I feel entitled to have it back, because it really does hurt to be betrayed.

    I always think it's most important to get to the root of the problem instead of just ending it, because you never know if it could eventually be solved.

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  • I'd feel sad, hurt and then I'd try see things from there point of view after I calmed down. After a long while of thinking I would either give the relationship another shot and work on the trust, if it was the first time.. or break up with them and break contact until all feelings disappeared..

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  • Been in that situation before. He cheated on me with his ex when we were together for over two years. Granted the month he cheated on me was a difficult time for both us, our relationship was nearly perfect. After he cheated, I was somewhat in denial, I was angry, p*ssed off, upset, hurt, etc. with all that lovely emotions but I still loved him and that killed me the most that was did. I told him before because we asked we each other if either one of us cheated if we would still be with them, I said yes and he was in shocked and thought I was kinda crazy. I stayed though in our relationship though. It happened a few months ago, but everything is getting back on track for the most part. I do somewhat distant myself now and there are for sure different rules for the both of us, but I still love him and it was a mistake. He's human just like everyone else and that's his last chance of proving he wants to be with me. But anyways I picked E because that's the closest thing there was.

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  • My boyfriend lied to me about something towards the beginning of our relationship. Neither of us were angry, it was just a sad and disappointing thing to deal with. But it was very clear that he cared about me and was sorry, so it was easy for me to trust him again.

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