How does he not care?

I married my best friend at 19. Only guy i ever dated since age 13. After being married 13 years I found out he was cheating with a woman 5 years younger than him and 3 younger than me. We have 3 young kids together. This is the second time he has cheated that I know of. First time he was very sorry and begged to be forgiven, I forgave him as it was physical. This time was emotional and physical, had an actual relationship with the woman. When I caight him he ran out, I begged him back and he kept telling me to wait, wait wait all the while running with her. After taking my youngest who is 1 around her I filed. He is now on number 2 after me, checking on the one who he cheated on me with. He is living the life, only upset his family is upset... why does it not bother him that he broke his wifes heart and broke up the family? I have cried over him, still to this day. What the heck is wrong with me and why does he care so little? Not sure if this ties in but he had weight loss surgery 2 years ago. I myself have never been heavy, just healthy,
I understand he will do it again which is why I would never take him back. Just hurts that he has no care what so ever, no regret... nothing.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Your husband is a pathetic coward and you deserve better, you should have divorced after rhe first affair, but yes i realize ita far harder for you than me, a stranger, but lets be rational, he cheated on you once, chances are high he will again, he did... Do not want him back, you are worth better, its not like there are no single guys in your age, you are still very young and you have a long life ahead, i dont see a reason why you should waste any more time with a spineless moron like him, you already gave him long good 13 yeara and in return he cheats on you, what more twice.. you will never regain healthy confidence nor will you be happy if you stay with a man like him, i understand you have children, but you also deserve happiness. My aunt was in similiar situation in approximatly your age, now she is 15 years older, youngest kid is almost adult, happy even though she grew up without father, she visits him eveey second weekend and thats enough for both of them, as for my aunt, she found a man ( didn't get married again though ) and lives with him happily now for years.

    • You are right and thank you. I would never take him back, just trying to understand the why.

    • Its the cowards way of " its really unlikely that she will find out i cheated" combined with lust, and possibly a way for him to retreat.. you can have very small argument and it clouds the mind for a while, and what to say... In my country we have a saying " opportunity makes a thief" he simply cheated because he could, and wanted to for whatever reason, with that being said its none of your fault, having a bad day doesn't mean you are free of charge if you kill somebody, cheating is the same but less extreme, he knew the risk and fucked up, nothing more.

Most Helpful Girl

  • To be fair, he's got a lot of catching up to do, sexually-wise. I don't really understand why you're still wasting your time thinking about him coming back to you and your kids. Move on already.

    • Easier said than done, trust me.

    • Show All
    • you're an idiot.

    • Nah, I don't think so.

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What Guys Said 3

  • To be bluntly honest, this is why you should never give second chance to a cheater.

    I think he assumed that you also felt the same. way about him, felt that you fell out of love with him, just like he did.

    • Then why didn't he leave? He told her to give him a year to leave on text, this is how I found out. It is just weird how it all played out.

    • Probably he was thinking of kids. Or he was really worried about what his family might say about ut.

  • the weight loss surgery for him more attention probably from the ladies, he abused it,
    he found at that he had way more fun with these bimbos than actually dealing with a family and kids.
    and that realization made hi give up in the family
    I am sorry for whatever you have to got through and are still going.

    I'd be glad if I could help you with it, if you need to talk or need a friend, I'm all ears

    now what you need to do is cut him off, build yourself up, become an independent woman. dont do it for yourself , but do it for the kids because they have nothing in this they deserve a normal like and strong mom that can be their rolde model
    I hope I was able to ease the pain

  • Obviously you weren't doing the job that needed to be done. If you can get him back, you need to be able to give the world greatest BJ and you need to do that at least three times a week. On top of fucking him like a porn star another three times a week. And keep the house immaculately clean, cook like Julia Child and don't nag at all. Good luck!


What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should've left him the first time he cheated.


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