I tend to put my anger out on the internet on hate speeking people on Facebook. My girlfriend has mentioned that she doesn't like how personal and mean I get. I always feel ashamed when I'm doing it but I feel trapped. She's told me to see a counselor but I always brushed it off. Sometimes I put my stress onto her. Someone sent a snapshot of something I said to her and she really didn't like it. I apologized but we went back and forth until I said "are you gonna break up with me"? And her silence sent me into a anxiety attack. We decided on a break but she couldn't guarantee it would end. She said somethings been missing the last month and she doesn't know what it is. We kissed multiple times including goodbye and she told me she loves me. I went to the counselor first thing the next day and they explained to me constant weed use will inhibit dealing with stress and emotions. I haven't smoked until night time since She left and I feel like a new person. I've done more in 4 days than I have in weeks. I bought her a really nice leather book and filled it with 15 poems I wrote about her, I, and both of us. She loves poetry so much. I love this woman with all my heart, I'm so afraid I won't have the chance to show her my change.
Wednesday will be 1 week, should I drop this off for her? When? Should I just give it to her when we speak in person? I am kicking myself so fucking hard for screwing up.