My girlfriend needed a break because she says somethings missing?

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 5 months. I am madly in love with this woman, we get along great and think so similarly. She suffers from severe panic disorder and bipolar depression. We smoke a good amount of weed and it's taken it's toll on me. I was only smoking at night when I met her but then it became a pastime of ours. In the last month-ish, I've been smoking almost morning to night. I've realized I can't do this, it packs on my stress and I can't express emotions the same way. She doesn't know that about me and neither did I until recently.

I tend to put my anger out on the internet on hate speeking people on Facebook. My girlfriend has mentioned that she doesn't like how personal and mean I get. I always feel ashamed when I'm doing it but I feel trapped. She's told me to see a counselor but I always brushed it off. Sometimes I put my stress onto her. Someone sent a snapshot of something I said to her and she really didn't like it. I apologized but we went back and forth until I said "are you gonna break up with me"? And her silence sent me into a anxiety attack. We decided on a break but she couldn't guarantee it would end. She said somethings been missing the last month and she doesn't know what it is. We kissed multiple times including goodbye and she told me she loves me. I went to the counselor first thing the next day and they explained to me constant weed use will inhibit dealing with stress and emotions. I haven't smoked until night time since She left and I feel like a new person. I've done more in 4 days than I have in weeks. I bought her a really nice leather book and filled it with 15 poems I wrote about her, I, and both of us. She loves poetry so much. I love this woman with all my heart, I'm so afraid I won't have the chance to show her my change.

Wednesday will be 1 week, should I drop this off for her? When? Should I just give it to her when we speak in person? I am kicking myself so fucking hard for screwing up.

Updates:
Also to mention, she said she wasn't ready to make this decision yet, I literally screwed myself by asking her. I burst into tears every morning because she's not laying next to me. She's told me I treat her better than anyone ever could. This can't be the end...

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  • It sounds more like what needs to be missing, and not what is missing.

    You have a drug problem. You've said it. Ditch the weed. Get help if you need it.

    You also have a serious vindictive streak, probably even a personality disorder. It's one thing to need to vent frustrations, but you publicly putting it on social media is extremely immature. And your player-hating has already bit you in the ass: your social media antics about her finally got back to her. She has panic and bipolar disorders, and then she gets to see what nasty things you're saying about her behind her back. What a way to support someone who supposedly matters so much to you.

    You say you're 26. You're an adult, so GROW UP.

    Now that I think of it, maybe that's what is missing for her: an adult man, which was probably what she thought she had.

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  • You probably seem toxic to her im toxic as fuck and usually my relationships only last a year to 6 months due to my Taurus temper and how crazy i am find a good girl... normal cute and caring maybe she can calm you down worked for me sometimes demons need angels and angels need demons

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  • I am sorry my man but if she wants "break" its beyons saving.. i mean maybe there is a sliver of hope considering her bi polarity, maybe that came into play i can't really weight that but i wouldn't bank on it.

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