What do you do after you give yourself away that you've fallen for another person?

I'm in a long-term relationship that hasn't been going quite well, and recently I've developed a feeling for another person whom I can't have. I have half-confessed, half given myself away, not out of desire to provoke jealousy or get attention, to be frank, I don't care much for either anymore. What do I do now - ruin what's left of the relationship to be alone and longing, or stay in it and try to suppress the crush I shouldn't have had? The important thing is, that as hopeless as this crush is, it is more exciting for me than what I get in my current relationship.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • only thing you can do is listen to your heart and believe everything that's meant to happen will happen

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Most Helpful Girl

  • What do you mean

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • If you don't care much for either any more then why do you want to stay in a relationship? Is a bad relationship better than no relationship?

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    • Well, we go back a long time, and it's just plain scary to lose all of what's been built, even though it's gone vapid. Besides, I'm afraid to hurt the man's feelings, because I know he values me a lot in his own way. Another thing is, we have a 21 years age gap, and I'm just afraid he would stay lonely forever if I leave, because the emotional connection is intense, up to a point where he would shed an actual tear. What do you think would be fair for me to do?

    • Do you feel it's repairable? If you're a lot younger than him do you feel you'd be putting your life on hold for him? I was in a relationship with a girl 22 years younger than me but although we're no longer a couple we're still very close friends. Maybe that could be the way forward for you?

    • Yeah, thanks! I actually thought about it a lot, the only problem being that he might find it offensive, me friendzoning him after all this time, while having fallen for a somewhat younger person. The thing is that we have drifted apart, and just keep getting more and more distant no matter what. Scary to be alone, but even nastier to feel alone in a relationship. Thanks again for the reply!

  • be happy with current relationship.. once u lost him.. never taken back... live long and stay blessed

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  • Move on girl times awaisting...

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  • is that me?

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What Girls Said 1

  • Who do you love?

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    • I feel like at this point love does not enter into either of these relationships. My former one is more about trust and habit now, and the new romantic interest is more about poignant longing after something you can't reach.

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    • Why do you feel you need those occasional benefits? Is the sex that incredible? Or is it just a needs thing? Or do you just need that closeness because that is also a habit?

      Who said their relationship would have to be destroyed?

    • Yeah, I guess I just really have this need for someone to make love to me, besides, he was my first-ever partner, and it still feels special. And yes, I've thought about ways to get through to the other person without ruining their relationship, but that feels dizzyingly scary somehow. I'm really afraid to give myself away to HIM as well, although I feel like it's just written all over my face, and he starts showing some interest too. I both want it and dread it..

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