I need advice badly?

So me and my boyfriend also, the father of my son, have had a rocky relationship for 4 years. He's gone behind my back plenty of times and I forgave. Never physically cheated that I know about, but would go on dating sites trying to hook up with other girls. Well recently we tried working on things and he took me to Galveston this weekend with his cousin. We were drinking alllllll day, and we went out to the bars that night, apparently I kissed a guy in front of him whom I didn't even know. I feel sick to my stomach. That isn't something I ever do so I'm at a loss of words. I can't eat, sleep, or even want to function. I feel so bad. I'm 100% loyal to him so for me to do that blows my mind. I love the guy so much, and I just feel so broken. I fucked up and I never do. It was such a big eye opener though. I'm obviously not good with drinking so I'm done for a long time.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like you did the sort of thing HE did before! Now you both know what can happen when you play around!

    What you did wasn't so terrible given that you've had tension between you, and you were drinking so much.

    Both of you need to forgive each other and try to make a fresh start. Talk about a mutual agreement between you... write it out and both of you sign it!!!

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    • by the way... WElcome to Girls ask Guys! I hope you get some good advice!

    • Right? He fucked me over really bad in the past, but I feel like I was worse since it was in front of his face and his cousins. But tbh, if he can't get over it, then its best to just move on from it myself.

    • Yes, right in the face of the family... maybe he can't handle it. But it sounds like he was nearly as bad.

Most Helpful Girl

  • For me I wouldn't even be with a guy who had been on dating sites trying to "hook up" with girls. I wouldn't feel bad at all if I kissed a guy while with a guy that would probably (or has) cheated. He wants to do it well show him that you actually can get someone else. Honestly I would even worry about it.

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    • Yeah it was hard to forgive him for that. He did it when I was pregnant with his kid, even worse. And it just sucks because he now is going to label me as a cheater and his cousin saw, which is even worse. I'm trying to forgive myself but it's hard

    • Ugh I know. I'm sure its difficult. Just try your best to move on and try not to get that drunk anymore.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • You need to make your boyfriend know that at the time you were at a mental state where you didn't know what was happening so that person (when you were drunk) wasn't even you.

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    • I tried, and all he says is being drunk isn't an excuse which is true. But still, I feel like that picture of me and another guy kissing is something he will never get over.

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    • No he doesn't. He just saw it with his own eyes apparently. I don't think he'd lie about that though and carry it on this long.

    • I really hope that you and him get over it soon and be happy. All I can say is when it's brought up, just keep telling him the truth and if he doesn't accept it then I'm sorry that he got that mad and jealous not to accept the truth.

  • I don't see it as a huge deal. Only that your shouldn't get that drunk again.

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    • I definitely learned my lesson. But I feel so fucked up cause it was literally right in front of my boyfriend...

  • you're not 100% loyal if you kissed a bloke in front of him.
    you're delusional love. and you may never have before but now you have.
    so go on then fuck his cousin, brother, father, nemesis, and boss in that order. you'll feel better. cheers

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  • Ha, good with drinking". You're not as loyal as you think you are. That's the lesson. Perhaps reassess your investment in this person.

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    • I'm honestly very loyal. I never do that, and I still can't believe I did. But yeah, definitely a lesson learned.

    • Alcohol doesn't make you do things it lowers your unwillingness to do things. In short: You did it because you've wanted to do it. Why? I do not know.

      But think about what's really missing before you write it off as a drunken mistake and explore your feelings.

What Girls Said 4

  • It sounds like you've put up with a lot of that kind of stuff from him, so I hope he can return the favor and forgive you. That said, it doesn't sound like your relationship (or your lifestyle, for that matter) is particularly healthy.

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  • Its a mistake. You were drunk and didn't even know what exactly what you were doing. Please don't feel too bad about it. In fact dont dread on it because it already happened and u could do nothing to go back and change it. Just try to change and dont do it again.

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    • Thank you, easier said than done to not dread on it though... I hurt the one guy i really loved. I had no idea I even did that until the next morning he told me.

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    • Yeah, he's definitely made me feel like shit. Calling me a slut, embarrassment to him, attention whore, etc. and he has a big mouth, so he will forever tell everyone about me kissing another guy in front of him. He's completely forgot about all the shit he has done to me apparently.

    • Yes thats what he is trying to do. Make him look like the victim when you are one.. having dealing with him cheating.

  • Clearly you're subconsciously tired of his bullshit so you did the same thing he was about to do.. Anyways in my opinion there's now no trust between you and you should consider parting ways because you drinking is no excuse to be all on another guy and him SOBERLY going after other women is not any better. Best of luck.

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  • You should've left him when he was on dating sites tbh. Kind of a no brainer

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