What does it mean when husband says he wants to take a break?

He doesn't want to kiss me anymore. What does this mean. We are still together and don't talk about it anymore but I can't help to worry that he still feels the same as when he wanted a break. I feel as though we are living a lie because he doesn't want to out right say he doesn't want me or love me anymore. What do you guys think? Guys would you ever say you need a break from your marriage and no longer desire to kiss your wife? He was also at one point not coming home at night.

Updates:
He said the romance was gone between the two of us and sees me as a friend

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Something is wrong with that. I don't know why he would want a break, why he would stop kissing you, not coming home at night with this behavior makes me think he may have cheated on you. But all I can say is when a man says he wants a break, he needs to learn man up and stop being a bitch. Relationships are work, and taking a break means not putting in the work. He was not being the man he should be.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He's cheating on you and doesn't want to feel connected to you any longer.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 21

  • Highly likely there's anothe woman involved. Time for a 'come to jesus' talk.

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  • "He was also at one point not coming home at night."

    1. What do you think was happening when he was not coming home?

    2. Have you asked him what he was doing when he was not coming home? If not, why not?

    3. What do you think all of this means for your marriage?

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  • Yep, I agree with @Dave1971. This is the first step to wanting out. Either identify why he has lost interest and try to change it, or seek professional help.

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  • I don't believe in "breaks", if anyone says this, I assume they mean they want to break up and just can't do/say it to your face.

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  • he wants a change of taste
    he wants to hookup with other women when on the above mentioned break.
    if he is asking for a break, you better just call it quits and put yourself out of the misery

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    • He said this about a year ago

    • But we are still together that's why I feel we are living a lie and he is only with me because he can't be with who he really wants

    • and dont you think that you are better than this and and capable of making the life, of the guy who likes you as much as you like him, really great, rewarding and fulfilling?

      I dont know if you think you can do that but I believe you can

  • I think you already know what it means. This is my biggest problem with monogamy. Most men only agree to be monogamous because they really do love the other person and don't want to lose them, but the fact of the matter is, sex with the same person becomes exceeding lackluster. You can still love someone and not want to express it physically. Try spicing it up (something new and exciting), and put some thought into it. Be aggressive; women are not used to this concept, because for the most part men are the aggressors. Don't take no for answer, and be physical. make a drastic change with your appearance; i. e., cut your hair and dye it a completely different color.

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  • You need to up your BJ game ASAP. Suck him off EVERY day. Even if he doesn't kiss you, SUCK HIM OFF EVERY DAY.

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  • It means he has been cheated by you.

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  • If she ever said "the romance is gone & friend" in the same sentence, its over! I'm no rocket sci... I get it, we're so done!

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    • Why is he still with me? It's been a year or so

    • I'm guessing because you allow him too. Is he cheating? You have to find out that bit of information, because in his mind, he already told you he sees you as a friend. Those are his words. He just may figure she heard me and hasn't thrown me out so it must be alright? If you haven't sat down and asked him about this, you might not want to be hearing what he's going to tell you. Time doesn't heal this until its over. GOOD LUCK! 😊

  • Actually he is honest man I like it.

    No body wants to hear it bu probably he is in another love.

    Trust me diamond cut diamond.

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  • RASAYS If You love something set it free. If It returns to you, its yours. If it doesn't, it never was. Also, many marriage counselors advise taking a break as in "absence makes the heart grow fonder". We love you. We are RA. We are GOLDEN. LOVE<3

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  • Sounds like a prick to me

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  • Girls will say he's cheating...

    Yeah, but another way around is that he doesn't feel the spark anymore.
    Go get counseling.

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  • Do you have kids?

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    • Yes we do a son

    • Show All
    • He said this a year ago that's why I feel we are living a lie because the only reason he is probably still with me is because he can't have who he really wants or he is afraid to say he doesn't love me anymore

    • He also said the romance is gone

  • He's done... End of story... Maybe therapy would help... But right now he wants out

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    • This happened a year ago why is he still with me?

    • A friend of mine stayed with his wife in a similar situation because he was afraid of being alone and because he didn't want to look like the bad guy asking for a divorce. He may be hoping you initiate a divorce or he may be happy having the stability of having you there crying over him while he is out having a good Ole time... Just speculation because I don't know him or you and the situation completely but he straight up told you he sees you as a friend... That's bad... Really bad... It's as bad as the I love you but not in love with you excuse or the its you not me... The only thing you have left to do is accept it.

  • does he spend a lot of time out of the house?

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  • I would be a bit worried.
    need to communicate and talk it out.

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  • absolutely not kissing someone else baby

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  • He is trying to slowly wean himself away from you but is unsure if he really wants a divorce.

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  • you cannot take "breaks" that is called a separation or a divorce.

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  • Not to sound mean but did you gain a lot of weight and he possibly lost attraction?
    Did either of you cheat?

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    • Nope always been the same size it's been a 12 year relationship

What Girls Said 5

  • So why did he get married? I swear sometimes I wonder how y'all end up with these lame ass dudes. In marriages that adrenaline rush excitement will not always be there that's a FACT. It's up to you two to keep the fire between you burning. I would be heartbroken if my husband wouldn't kiss me or want to spend time with me. Anyways him not coming home makes me think he's up to shit, it's time you investigate a little more. If he's cheating then you need to leave, if he isn't then you communicate and you work it out. You both need to make effort. No one said marriage is easy buttercup.

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  • I would have told him goodbye pack up it's time to go back to your moms house. Coming home late at night... hmmmm that smells fishy.

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  • I’m sorry. And this may hurt you and I’m so sorry for that... but it’s clear that there’s someone else getting the romance side of him. And it will be pretty surprising if it’s not.

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  • I think if its at the point he feels he needed a break and the fact that he told you ur only seen as a friend and doesn't come home those are very bad signs that indicate he doesn't love you any more and the marriage has come to an end it seems to be too late im sorry, the nights he doesn't come home is also a red flag he might be cheating aswell you never know what a man is capable of when he falls out of love, i dont think therevis a way to get the spark back between you two if he doesn't even seem botherd about you at all, i think you should consider a divorce and to be open to meeting a man who truly loves you cause god knows you deserve better than this, unfortunately some marriages dont work out as planned and will be a big heartbreak for you but there is no need to keep wasting time when he treats you this way he isn't even trying to work on things so there is no use seems he has given up so now you need to aswell for yourself, you need to be happy not constantly wonder

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