Wanting attention and being stupid may of caused me my family, what should I do?

I sent nudes to another man. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years and have 2 babies. He found out and reality hit, I may have ruined my life and family all for nothing. He says he didn't want to make it work but I don't want my kids to share homes ( yes I should of thought about it when I was doing wrong) are relationship was already rocky (not an excuse) we currently dont have our kids and since then we both turned into 2 different people. He's gone for 10days to his sister wedding , he found out moments before leaving so I stayed. He's had his issues in the past and I forgave him. I'm just looking for a second chance not only for me but for my kids. It hurts more that when the kids return home it might be only to one parent. What can I do? To keep my family together? The guy I sent the pics to it wasn't a relationship or anything like that. What can I do I have 10days till he returns?


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you're interested in staying for your children, take it from me, where my father left his previous family to start a new one.

    The relationship has to be immensely on your back now. You've made wrong, I won't criticize your mistake, but do understand, that especially, you've broken your partner's trust and that will take a lot of effort to build back up. Effort you'll have to show through everyday work and not one big try.

    If you aren't already discussing it, you will when he comes back. In either case, you have to stress how much you regret your decision, that for whatever reason, you did what you did and you have to own up to it.

    You have children that are growing up and cannot be in a broken household. They are fragile humans who will imprint off of everything you two do. If you cannot make the relationship ultimately work, find a solution to the children at least, as they would definitely pay if they don't have good parents. Use this point if all else fails, but do not try to manipulate him. If he understands that you're trying so, he will have to idea to run out.

    • Thanks I appreciate your advice I know it won't be a easy road but I'm still hoping / asking him for a chance to prove I can do right and I know I have to own up to my wrong doing. And I'm so trying

    • Do your best and you'll be rewarded with what you put in 🙂

Most Helpful Girl

  • Why did you send the nudes though were you tired in your relationship or some thing? Im sorry but the fact that you did that was wrong and some times a person needs to face the consequences for they actions, some thing must have been wrong in your relationship to have done that in tbe first place so maybe ur not as happy with him as you think you are, even though you have kids you have to consider his feelings this is not about you this is the fact that he feels hurt and he is not a person that can erase what had happen like nothing had ever happen you can't expect that, it had happen and it can't be taken back, all you can do is tell him your sorry and be honest tell him why you had honestly send nudes in the first place, tell him he wasn't giving you enough attention or whatever the real reason is that you did that because the truth is always the best you need to tell him why you did that and that you felt unhappy or whatever the reason was, then tell him it will never happen again that you want you two to work on the relationship and make it work for the kids because they deserve 2 parents, every one makes mistakes and at least you will show him you owning up to it, but if he doesn't wanna get back together you can't really do much about it as he is likely deeply hurt you will just have to try ur best to fix things and if not then you can still have family days together, im sorry hope it works out

    • I 've been asking myself why? Honestly I wanted to feel wanted and sexy and the excitement. And I know I should of went about it another way. But in that moment it was my get away from the real life issues and instead of working them out I took a more lethal route and now I'm paying for it. And I really don't know what I can't say to him but try and show and tell him I am sorry not only because I got caught because I know what I was doing wouldn't of helped our problems.

    • Ai im so sorry, i do understand what you mean by you wantinf to feel sexy and the excitement etc i can understand that because 4 years with the same person is a long time and after kids everything changes so i can imagine how a lot between you two must have changed that led to this, Honestly if this man loves you and cares he will give you a chance , but if he just doesn't wanna give you a chance then fine thats his choice that just means he is not considering the kids feelings aswell and thinking of himself, i know people do things as i have seen my parents go through the same and now they back together so i do believe you two can make it work at least you didn't sleep with the guy it was just nudes so ask him what can you do tell him you will do any thing he wants to prove you love him and will make it up to him, Or the other option if he isn't responding is just to keep quiet and give him some space to cool down because when a girl msges her boyfriend non stop he gets more angry

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What Guys Said 4

  • be ashamed of your act
    be ashamed to ruin your family
    be shamed to put your kids future at risk
    be ashamed about making your kids grow up in a broken family when it wasn't even their fault
    be ashamed for making your kids the but of bullying because the broken family tag is easy target and the broken family takes a hit on their confidence
    be ashamed to screw up the potential love life of your kids because they either have trust issues or loose morals, not being able to have a meaningful relationship because they have never seen there parent be loving because their mom decided to only care about herself

    sorry if this came as rude
    maybe you are a great person other than that but cheating is something that is unforgivable

    • It's fine you have your opinion but I'm asking for advice not to be ridicule. It's not like I had sex with the guy now that is unforgivable.

    • I apologized for what I said
      I also said that you probably are a great person other than that

      all you can do is lay low and do things that probably don't hurt your husband
      you have time till he gets back
      do all you can to beyond and over board to keep him happy

      he might not like it,
      call you out on your deeds
      but you can't react to it
      just keep trying with the hope that he at least avoids getting a divorce and try to coexist in the same house just to make sure that your kids have a full time father

  • i personally would not see that as a sole reason to split. the fact you sent them though is obvious there are others things you both need to fix in your relationship. talk about those and go from there. a side note, just me but i disagree with being with someone just for the kids. it makes your life miserable and effects the children eventually

    • I agree, I don't want to stay just for the kids , like I love him only thing bad about him is his attitude but clearly I'm not perfect either. I just messed up and want my family together and have my kids come home to both parents, that are happy. This is all fresh it just happened yesterday so I've been texting him non stop. I don't know what to do or say

  • You tell him you know what I gave you another chance I deserve one to and not only for me for the kids because you don't deserve this neither do your kids it affects the kids most

    • I told him something similar & he said if we split that dosent stop us both from being parents. But thankyou

    • Yea just remind him it hurts the kids the most

  • when a girl cheats like this she's always looking for excuses and always wanting a second chance but if it were the other way around lets be honest youd take his money the kids the home its all bs he should leave you

    • The tables have been the other way and I didn't leave or take the kids I stayed. So before you judge at least read what I wrote.

    • Show All
    • If you can't believe the web then whybare you even on this site? You contradicting yourself

    • no one can believe people on the internet you fucking idiot!

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