Should I ask my ex out?

Hey guys, I really need some advice on this one. I started hanging out with this guy I knew for almost a year but we only got closer in the end of last year and ended up dating for 4 months and never made the relationship truly oficial. He broke up with me saying "it's not you, it's me"/"still want to stay friends", saying that he couldn't be physical with anyone by that time and he was going through some family issues.

Since then (it's almost been 4 months) we talked little from time to time and even go out as friends once, but since I still had feelings for him this situation really hurt me and I decided to back off for the past month. We even had a drunk conversation when I told him I still liked him and asked him to tell me to give up and he did tell me that "nothing was ever going to happen between us again". I thought I'll never hear from him again but on the past few weeks he left some public comments on my social media and even started a private conversation but then stopped answering and this made me think a lot of him again...

I know deep down I still have some feelings from him, and I tend to make impulsive decisions, but I really want to keep him in my life and I still feel the need to hang out with him. So I've been thinking of asking him out to a concert next week but I'm afraid he'll just say no and I'll make a fool of myself. What do you think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he would say no. It would be better if you take someone else to the concert.

    Coldplay concert?

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    • Nop, just a local band concert in my hometown, the entrance is free... Well he's the one that's been taking the initiative to sort of "communicate" in the past weeks, but I guess he's just keeping me on the hook as my friends say

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    • Yes i can understand. I think keeping in touch with him would not help it at all. I would suggest you reduce your contacts with him. It will help in,

      1. Getting over him

      2. Making him realise he misses you, if he does have any feelings at all.

      And you are always welcome. :-)

    • I ended up asking him after and he couldn't make it but said he was free to hang out some other time if something interesting came up.

      I think is time to wait for him to say something right? Maybe this was just a turn down in a "nice" way and he won't talk anymore… he's just waiting for me to pick up the ce

      Guess I should focus on nr.1 of your advice now :/

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you shold tell him you miss his friendship and would love to hang out sometime. Keep it cool and with no pressure. He will probably say "yes" to beeing friends. And if there is a spark then there is a spark and maybe something will happen.

    If you ask him on a real date then there is too much pressure. He will think twice becase you two have history. He will think "Will it mean you are back together? Will I hurt her? What if I don't feel like kissing her and desapoint her" and might not even give it a try.

    Of course maybe he is really not into you romantically. And even if you two go out he will only be friendly. But your best shot is to not put expectation on it. And if you see things are going in the friendship direction and that can't handle seeing him as friends you can stop seeing again.

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    • Yes, I agree with you, this ideia of asking him to a concert was meant to be cool and with no pressure at all, not like a date! The last and only time we hung out after the breakup it was also an event like this and it went pretty well, but I only felt friendship from him, no romantic feelings at all, and I felt disappointed afterwards and never asked him out again (nor did he). I guess if it happens this time it will be the same… so maybe I'm just being a fool for considering repeating the situation xD

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    • lying sometimes is a better strategy ;)

    • So I did ask him after all and he couldn't make it but said he was free to hang out some other time if something interesting came up. I think is time to wait for him to say something right? Maybe this was just a turn down in a "nice" way and he won't talk anymore…

What Guys Said 2

  • Not only no but fuck no

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  • just move on.. lots of people out there.

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What Girls Said 1

  • What did he mean by he couldn't get physical?

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    • Not feeling the need to be affectionate with me, like kissing, holding hands… I noticed this because on the week before the break up he started to be cold with me, like we hung out and talked as usual but with no physical contact

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    • It was a very short relationship, but I never liked someone like I liked him, maybe that's why it's so hard to let go completely. Anyway, I want to believe something better will appear along the way...
      Thanks ;)

    • Good luck!

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