What do you think about the idea of "getting sexy" after a breakup?

I've seen it all the time. Losing weight, new hair, new hobbies. I didn't completely understand why the big changes came after but since getting my heart broken I've joined them on the journey.

I'm learning a second language, I'm taking steps to move up ar my job. I'm growing out my hair and I've lost like 20lbs. Fortunately I got to keep my boobs and my bunble butt so hey, extra confidence boost. I dress different. I used to be jeans and t-shirt, pretty modest all of the time. Now I'm embracing my body and wearing things like this:




Overall I just feel sexy, confident and no one can stop me. My ex has been trying to talk to me again, which I think is hilarious. I completely understand the huge changes now.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This should happen whilst in a relationship but unfortunately to most people a relationship means you no longer have to try.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can relate. I did that too and (for me) I think it provides me some sort of distraction, which I really needed, while I work and focus on myself and loving myself :)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 22

  • What's the point? You'll get a new bloke, you'll move in together, you'll stop going to the gym, too much Ben And Jerry's, you'll get far and ugly again, he'll dump you, you'll start dieting and going to the gym, it's like Ground Hog Day, just find someone who likes you when you're fat and ugly and settle down.

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  • How about getting sexy during the relationship, instead of letting yourself go. And then you wonder why we find better options.

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  • Why do it after the break up? Just do it in the relationship and dont break up.

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  • Well... if its just a bit of fat then I guess the guy could have stayed with you. But if its quite a bit of fat then no... likely the same would happen if he became fat, I have heard it all.

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  • I did this. Keeping busy doing it helped me get over it, and I emerged a fitter, better dressed, better version of me.

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  • I went through a break a few months ago and I dropped 22 pounds and got a new hairstyle and changed my dressing sense too. Haha. My ex on the other hand, got a new haircut and got a new tattoo. Guess we all have the hair change in common.

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  • It makes perfect sense, I mean you kinda have to sexy yourself up if you want your next partner to be decent looking...

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    • But I agree with other people here: you really shouldn't let yourself go during a relationship to begin with...

  • feeling sexy =/= dressing slutty.
    its good that you're changing your life for the best but dressing like that won't get you the kind of attention you want

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  • I think people do it so they can start things off on a different foot in hopes that next time things will be different.

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  • Find a new guy - one that really appreciates you and your effort.
    No 'do-overs'. :)

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  • Guys do it too. It's healthier to focus on one's self image (wether that's physically or emotionally or mentally) after a breakup. Making new friends is important as well. You are less likely to find yourself in a situation conducive to meeting new people and jumpstart your love life (think about the emotional trauma you have just been through) if you don't open your mind and heart to new experiences.

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  • Doing it for yourself great. But if you doing it for him or to try to make him jealous for him anyway that's stupid. Be yourself if that's who you are then that's who you are

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  • Let you do you, let him/her do him/her

    It really doesn't matter if you've just broken up or not. If you wanna "get sexy", that's your decision.

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  • Glad to see that you got better after a breakup.
    Take care.

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  • I think its good to get back that self confidence

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  • *sigh* im not gonna like a girl for her changes. im gonna love her for who she is

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  • love still there also the needed.. you can use the sex to fix what damage...

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  • nyz s

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  • If you really want to get back at your ex. Have sex with tons of guys and record it then send it to your EX.

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  • wow... I noticed women let themselves go to crap in a relationship and wonder why the relationship ended.

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  • If you got sexy while in the relationship, you may have kept the guy.

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  • It doesn't matte

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    • Coz way you describe it is weird. Why wouldn't you not do these things before? How is it related to your ex?

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    • I guess if something is boring you're saying you should just give up?

    • @sGVamp well , Yes! specifically when the other person is not interested in giving you attention.
      FYI it's not my native language so teachers often skip their role to play.

What Girls Said 9

  • We do it because we try to focus our attention on new things and looking good! It works for some but not all! Well you know what they say - you look good, you feel good!

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  • I've never got why people wait until after a relationship to "get sexy" , everyone wants their partner to stay attracted to them, so why not do all that stuff whilst you're with them?
    It's great that you're doing it for yourself, but you would have been no less of a person for making the same effort for your partner.

    I've always been more body conscious whilst in a relationship, and less worried about skipping a day at the gym when there's no one to see me naked.

    Having said that, if this is your way of moving on and getting your self esteem back, good for you.

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  • Typically any time I go through a break up, I change something about my looks. Typically I change my hair because it is the easiest thing to change and will grow back if the cut gets fucked up.

    I look at it as a way to shed the reminder of a "past" self. I personally don't see anything wrong with doing such things. I just have seen people who seem to take it way too far.

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  • Best things a person can do is move on with their life and find whatever it takes to empower themselves. It's also really good revenge if you're into that sort of thing.

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  • In way to make you feel better about yourself but at the same time trying to show your ex what they just gave up/now missing out on.

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  • I've done the same thing pretty much. After the breakup I bought a bunch of new dresses (my ex hated dresses), joined the gym and lost a bit of weight.

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  • I don't have a lot of experiment to be honest but ,
    I really enjoy the fact you showed how your vision of this changed !😊

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  • It is called that YOU are ALREADY HAVE MOVED ON!! :) :)

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  • So you made an effort after getting dumped good for you. Relationships take work

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