I dated the most perfect guy for 4 years, he did everything for me and loved me. I cheated on him 3 times and he still wants me back. what should I do?

I think he deserves better than me. I do LOVE him but I am doubting if I do or not because of the cheating behaviour. A part of me thinks I love him but I have a problem with cheating and that problem will still exist no matter what relationship I am. The other part of me believes I wouldn't have cheated if I REALLY LOVED him. I feel horrible for hurting him over and over again. so I changed my number, said my goodbye and I am trying to move on. Am I doing the right thing


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are doing the right thing by walking away.

    It's better he finds someone that won't cheat on him even once.

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    • I know. I am not going to be selfish anymore. No one should have to feel this way

Most Helpful Girl

  • Is there a particular reason why you cheat? Like do you cheat for physical reasons (sex, flirtation) or emotionally (you develop feelings for some one else) Or maybe you were just getting bored of the routine and wanted to try something different. Cheating doesn't necessarily make you a bad person and you may still love him even if you are tempted to cheat. It's such a fine line here but I think if there is any doubt in your mind about loving him then you need to do the right thing and let him move on. Because if you hold onto him in anyway you won't only be hurting yourself, you'll be hurting him too.

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What Guys Said 17

  • I'm basically a nobody so you don't have to read this but take some time from relationships and guys and all that, just take a brake for a while and figure out what you really want... and then if you decided on what you want then you can devote all your attention to it even if it's him

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    • Thank you, i think that was great advice.

    • we all make mistakes but they are not what make you a person, it's what you learn from them... as long as you remember that not much can go wrong

    • Yeah I don't want to allow myself to make any more mistakes until I figure myself out. I am definitely not ready to be responsible for someone else's feelings

  • I swear to God, if you're my ex, here's the exact advice I'd give her, because this is the exact same story as I've had with me on the receiving end. Stay the fuck away from him. He was in the most pain he has ever been while begging you to take him back even though you were the one who cheated. You did the shittiest thing you could possibly do to someone, and he was so depressed and hopeless he still wanted you. After she did what she did, I almost killed myself twice and it was only the thought of my family hurting because of me that kept me from doing it. It's been almost a year, and I have my self confidence back and the depression is gone. Stay away. He built his life back from the shambles you left it in. Don't destroy that because you want to be selfish some more, because for all you know, it'll fuck his life up all over again, and possibly be enough to finally push him over that edge.

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  • Yeah, do the poor guy a favor.

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  • You cleary aren't a monogamous person. It is possible to love more than one person you know. Just because you see other people doesn't mean you don't love him. Maybe he even loves you enough to understand you want to have a polygamous relationship as long as you are comfortable with him seeing other people as well.

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  • Yes right thing. Cut him out of your life (for his sake) unless you plan to change. And to do that will require a lot of work. You first have to figure out why you're cheating. Something must be lacking that this "perfect guy" wasn't offering you? Counselling might be needed? Have you cheated on other guys as well, or just him?

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  • Yes, you are kind of a piece of shit. Leave him, its better for him to move on from you until you stop cheating and having toxic relationships

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  • Cheating isn't a 'problem', it's a personality defect, or a bad choice.
    Cut him loose so he can find someone that truly is dedicated and loyal to him.
    And you're right, you cheat cuz you're bored. If you were completely satisfied you wouldn't cheat.

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  • Yes you are, you just really enjoy sex I assume? your best bet is a friend's with benefits relationship or an open relationship, which is what I am looking for also

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  • You have two options.
    1) Leave him because he does deserve better and you need to tell him that because he needs to understand that so he doesn't get hurt.
    2) You stay with him and never cheat again because you may not deserve him but he wants you and the least you can do is give him what he wants. But if you do cheat then he gets to spank you as hard and long as he wants it will make you think twice about cheating.

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  • You should walk away and never talk to him again. He deserves FAR better than you.

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    • I know, I told him the same thing.

  • You don't feel horrible about it or you wouldn't have cheated 3 times!!! Leave this guy alone and figure out yourself and why the need to cheat!!

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  • If you love then stay away from him.

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  • nah, you are what you are. you are really a slut. sorry for breaking this to you but you will do the same with the next guy you find

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    • Lol thanks as if I didn't feel shitty already

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    • That is physically impossible but thanks for your constructive suggestion.

    • Haha 😂

  • talk to him ones nd tell him exactly what you did with him! maybe after knowing even he dont leaves you nd stays wd you forever! take a chance bcz it was all your mistakes!!

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    • No please God no. I lived through this, and it was the worst experience ever. For her to come back into his life after such an abrupt cut off, it might destroy all the work he's put into rebuilding his life after that toxic relationship. Do you think someone is happy if they'd take back someone who cheated on them 3 times? No. And if she busts into his life again like the damned koolaide man, she would destroy everything all over again after he finally got everything back together.

  • yes I think it was the best

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  • Why did you cheated

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    • He was controlling and over protective so small lies turned into bigger lies. It started with hiding small things like going out with my girls, drinking with them, clubbing with them etc. But I don't want to blame him for anything. It was ultimately my decision or mistake to cheat

    • Cool now live ur life freely and let him find someone loyal

    • Was he the most perfect guy ever, as you say in the title, or was he controlling and overprotective? These are two contradictory things. A controlling nature is a real huge serious problem for someone to have. In my opinion, controlling behavior is just as bad - or even worse - than cheating.

  • Yes, I think you're doing the right thing. If you know you won't be faithful (kudos for knowing yourself) and that it hurts him when you cheat, the kindest thing to do is let him find the right woman for himself. And, for yourself, find someone who is good with an open relationship so you don't hurt the next guy, too.

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    • Thank you for your comment. I definitely can't go wrong with this decision

    • Good luck and eventual happiness to both of you.

What Girls Said 5

  • You certainly do not love HIM. You are in love with the idea of BEING in love. I hope for your sake you do not really fall for a guy and then find he cheats on you. if it happens, I think it will be payback time.

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  • Yea you're doing the right thing by staying away

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  • Yep, leave that poor guy alone.

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  • Leave him alone

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  • i don't want to make you feel bad but shame on you. If you love someone you don't cheat them...3 times!
    Let him go

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