She behaved like a total bitch during the breakup. Should I give her a piece of my mind 4 months later?

Hello everyone, here's my situation

First off, excuse my English, I'm French.
To make a long story short I moved out to live with my girlfriend (at her house, 300 miles away from my family) almost 4 years ago and she wanted to breakup this February. During the last months of the relationship and above all during the breakup, she behaved like a rude bitch towards me while I tried my best to make the breakup cordial. I didn't understood her rudeness sinc I accepted the breakup and I didn't do anything against her.

It's been 4 months now and I blocked her on Facebook (she had removed me from her list of friends when she told me that she wanted to breakup). Even that didn't hurt me that much but I blocked her for her rude behavior in general during the breakup.

With that said I do have unresolved feelings and I w'd feel much better if I told her in a facebook message that she behaved like a bitch. I've moved on from the relationship but this bugged me ever since and I know I w'd feel much better after having told her that because she really was very aggressive and rude toward me during the breakup even though I tried everything to keep it cordial.

So, do you think it's a good idea to tell her that?

Thanks for your opinions


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you have unresolved feelings then whose fault it is for not moving on? Yours. You don't have to prove anything to her. You haven't moved on from the relationship because if you did, you wouldn't be having those feelings. Be honest with yourself. If you have this much of an issue, go speak to a professional counselor. Your ex is not your counselor to share your bitterness to. No offense. But when you do stuff like this it becomes a whole new level of pathetic. She isn't going to care. In fact, if she has took you off and block you, how are you going to reach her? All she has to do is screenshot everything you sent her and press charges for harassment. Leave her alone and truly move on. That is my advice.

    • She didn't block me, she removed me from her facebook friends during the breakup. I blocked her a few days ago. To send her a message, I just have to unblock her, send her a message and block her again. I won't insult her, I'll just say that she the way she behaved was very low, that's it. Even if she doesn't care, I know I'll feel way better after that.

    • I'd say have a go at it.

Most Helpful Guy

  • No, it won't change anything. In fact, quite often it is our ego that tricks us into thinking that anger, or reactive behavior can make anything better. It won't.

    The reason why you feel you want to do this is because her behavior bruised your ego. Your ego would have much rather ed you fought fire with fire at the moment, but the need for giving her a piece of your mind is still something your ego craves.

    Personally, I'd take all of that resentment, channel it and let it out in a positive manner... turn anger into strength and muscle through training. Or do something creative. Punch a punch bag or paint.

    We can decide how to channel our emotion, don't let your ego decide that for you...

    • Yes my ego is bruised and I agree that we must not let our ego drive our actions. In my opinion, a simple message is way better than putting hours in palliatives like art or weight training. Like I said to astoriana and btbc92, I won't lash out or get angry, I'll just tell her that her bevahior was very low and I'll get right back into my life. I don't need anything else.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I understand your need to tell her. You think it'd bring you some kind of closure but unfortunately I don't think it's a good idea. What I would suggest instead is: to write it down somewhere, to say everything you'd want to say to her but not send it. Keep it to yourself. She doesn't deserve to know the effect her behaviour had on you. She doesn't deserve to know how it made you feel. It's letting her know that she had power over you. She would be glad to have had that power on you.

  • Tu pourras lui dire tout ce que tu as en tête mais ça ne changera rien. Si elle s’est comportée d’une telle façon sa réaction à ce que tu vas lui dire sera la même que celle durant votre break up. Once a bitch always a bitch.

  • Why? Why prolong the suffering for another day? If it gives you closure, write a letter. I wouldn't advise sending it.

    • I will just say that her behavior was very low. To me that's not prologing the suffering, on the contrary, that's putting an end to it because I feel like shit because of the way she treated me. And I won't insult her I'll just make it clear that her bevahior was unfair and low. Tha's it, I'll feel better after that.

    • Like @btbc92 said, if you're not moving on, it's your fault and not hers. She isn't going to care and she isn't going to change. Don't waste your time or energy.

What Guys Said 4

  • I can see that everyone out here has their own opinions and it is always in your hands to choose and decide.

    You need to first understand that what really caused breakup at first place, if you're not able to figure out your mistake then maybe she came in your life as a lesson.

    Talking rude is generally what I've seen girls do to push away when they don't want things anymore that's a very immature way to do it but they just want to make sure that you don't come back.

    it's hard to tell what's really going on until you analyse what really caused it, if it was really nothing you can figure out then it maybe really she had no reasons to break things apart and choosed this way to push you away.

    If you think there was some mistake from your part then I strongly believe that the anger was momentarily.

    in both the cases you can always forgive her for her behavior because forgiveness and acceptance will make you a better person.

    And then calmly you can speak out your feelings to her that will make you feel lighter and you can also ask her for an explanation that you deserve.

    but if it didn't work out then please don't get stuck there, write it down that what are the things you want to talk to her and then call so that after call you don't feel that something you forgot to ask her.

    It will surely help either way. 😊

  • Don't. Women are, from my experiences, smarter than us in this department. They know how to torment us the more we retaliate.

    So let her be. Live your own life please I'm begging you. Don't succumb to her behavior. Be a man and leave her be.

    • To me, being a man is also saying what we mean. And I'm living my own life; I'm not hung up on her or anything, I just want to tell her that her beavior was rude and that it wasn't necessary, that's it.

  • I wouldn't do that. My experience has been women feed off drama so don't give her that satisfaction. It won't help you in the long run.

  • je pense que tu a besoin de rester silent. make her talk to you first


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