How to cope with a boyfriend who has no money?

So.. here's my story. Warning : if you are a broke frustrated guy or a judgy-eyed girl please back off. Anyway, for those who would like to give me a piece of advice : I met this guy almost 2 years ago, and we ve been living together in the same house for 6 months. The issue here is : he has changed like 4 jobs during this period, and he never has money on him... when we go out for dinner- i pay, when we go at the pool- i pay , at the mall-i always pay. This month i even paid rent and every other house utilities. I am getting so tired of being the man in this relationship.. in our city , without experience in a job he can win maximum 500 € per month.. which means not even 10% of our expenses.
Issue is- i grew attached to him and i don't know how could i leave him... i know this is not the life i want , but something always keeps me in this relationship. God i wish this never existed :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • had this female friend that was dating such a guy. I was always thinking "what the fuck she's wasting time with him".
    Truth is he was also very possessive and jealous towards her going out at all with her friends.
    The guy would bring all kinds of excuses for not having money, though reality is he is a loser. He cannot work it out and switches jobs twice or three times per year. This means he simply isn't capable of working.
    Anyway, he comes up with excuses like: boss had something against me, a colleague pushed me under the train because I was doing better than him performance wise.
    Not true, he is simply a loser.

    The girl is asking me for money on a regular basis. I once told her "money is not free", she understood I want sex and was up for it.
    Why bother and "prostitute" yourself, when you can simply change and get a guy that is decent.
    I understand paying for a while, when there's an extraordinary situation, but having to deal with this all the time is not ok.

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    • who the feck gave me thumbs down. Man I would allow people to thumb down only if they'd provide a reply for that comment.

Most Helpful Girl

  • if you love him, help him out. try to encourage him and help him out to get a job or whatever he needs to get back on his feet. HOWEVER, if you see no change in him or no motivation for him to find a job so that he can help out in your relationship and be a partnership, then i suggest leaving him. also just because you make more money in the relationship doesn't make you " the man". relationships are loving partnerships that help each other out. besides it's 2017!! there's definitely nothing wrong w the female being the bread winner!! good luck :)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 18

  • Believe me when I say this will not change. He'll never be the man with the ability to pay. So you must either accept things as they are and never complain about it again, or end the relationship and move on. To stay with him hoping for him to change will leave you both in an unhappy situation. Sorry I don't have a better solution for you.

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  • Ultimately, love doesn't pay the bills. Life requires money to live it, like it or not. You are starting to realize the life you want is not possible with him if he isn't working and financially contributing. It isn't fair that you accumulate wealth and build your life while he tags along for the free ride and also drags you down and hold you back from even greater potential. I am not saying to break up, but you do need to put your foot down and demand he contribute some how other than sitting around collecting welfare. There must be something he can apply himself to in order to make an income and pull his share of the financial weight! Keep pushing him. If he chooses to remain lazy or no ambition to get work, then I say it is time for him to move out and maybe your relationship take a break while he reorganizes his life.

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  • Your looking at it all wrong. This it good shit. Believe me sounds crazy RT? First let me ask how old is he? & is he lazy? I got married., and moved into an apt with my girl having no a job. I told her let me find a job first she said its OK we can do this and that I'll find a job. At the time she used to answer phones for an attorney & go to school at night keep in mind this wasn't her apt it was a whole new deal she was leaving her moms house for the first time in her life and I was doing the same. And for a while she paid for everything no worries she said we're going to be alright. I felt like shit especially in the morning when she left for work. 3 years I worked shitty jobs for agencies for low pay & no benefits she even bought me a new truck and i mean a new fucking truck. She wanted a all white cat I got it for her we even had a cool fish tank we used to enjoy looking at them stupid fish. 1 more yr had passed I was going nowhere working for agencies as she was now a young paralegal. so I quite working all together kinda I went to adult school and got certified as a welder and joined the Iron workers union. a year later she got pregnant with our first child (boy) we bought a house and we never looked back its been years since that time & a lot has happened. A much larger house a all black cat a little girl a few new cars a boxes of Pictures a lifetime of memories oceans of beer a gang of friends and Christmas every year. And to think I wanted to wait until I got a real job."That took 4 years fuck" god only knows where I'd be if I didn't listen to my wife who at the time I thought just wanted to play house. looking back that was the good shit! Hard yeah worth it absolutely. Change it never. Even though in the beginning it didn't seem like we wanted the same things one thing was certain I wanted to make good money to im now making $43.00 per hr been a union member for 15 years... I just needed that little push and to be told that we're going to make it.. But if he's lazy then then Fuck I don't know what to say.. Good luck

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  • Ha! Ain't feminism great?

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  • I'm far from broke, and I'm going to laugh at this. Once again a woman goes for the broke-ass thug because he makes her pussy tingle. Hey, at least he's not impregnating a dozen other girls or beating you up, right? Well, not YET, but hey, it's a good thing right now.

    Hahaha!!!

    I fucking LOL'd.

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  • I agree with you. No one partner should have the responsibility of paying for pretty much everything. Honestly you might want to think of just breaking up with him. You should be honest with him and tell him that being with him is hard because you feel that he doesn't contribute enough to the relationship and that he should get his act together.

    You might be stuck in a relationship with a deadbeat who will never change. Don't hold on to the feelings so hard that if it doesn't change you'll stay with him. You should be highly encouraging him to get a decent job and if he's not willing to that's a big red flag.

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  • If you really love him and want thinks to work out, try to help him out. If he isn't educated, encourage him to get back to education. You can do other things like help him out with his resume, encourage him to never be late for work and to focus on his job.

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  • Ur perceptions on relationships are archaic, i. e. your role as the man. if thats how u think, find a guy w money n be the woman n stay home. otherwise choose between love and money and commit to ur choice. the 2 out of 3 triangle (looks, money, personality. pick only 2) is oddly true.

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  • Beinf broke is one thing, changing 4 jobs in a short span is telling of a different issue. And really, just because you feel you should be with someone, by love or otherwise, doesn't mean they're good for you

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  • Talk to him about it. Tell him what's on your mind, and as a man, he is probably feeling incredibly embarrassed and super bad about it. That's if he actually loves you. Encourage him and help him out, but if he doesn't listen. I don't think it's worth having him around.

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  • The only thing you can do is leave.

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  • Lol this is not going to get better. He found a sucker to suck money off of. That sucker being you!

    Anyhow, are you insecure about your image or something? (not judging). This seems to happen to decent but otherwise insecure women

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  • Don't even talk about it with him. You need to leave him. Sorry but you don't need to waste your time trying to get the laziness out of him. Find a real man who can at least go 50 50 with you.

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  • Does he has something he wants to live for, what he finds important? Maybe if he can follow his dreams and create a job to reach his dreams, maybe than he can get more meaning of life and get more responsible.
    If you tried so long with him than he is a lucky guy. Hope you'll be happy together and that he can make it in a good way

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  • if he can't make money to support you baby you need to run his ass off go home to Mama you're not his God damn mama

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  • I agree with you it is a legitimate concern, try to talk with him and see what skills he has or will learn to get the best paying job

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  • kick his ass out

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  • You're not the man in the relationship you're jaded and racist for saying that
    I hope he continues to use you cause you stupid lol

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What Girls Said 6

  • I don't think the guy needs to be wealthy, but it's tough to make things work if he can't afford to pay his share. Even aside from the relationship, nobody can afford to have roommates who don't pay rent.

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  • If you love him find a way to work through this. Encourage him to get a job, help him get a job. Talk to him about how you feel

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  • I've been here. You need to dump his ass. No matter how attached you are this will get old real fast. What happens if you want to get married? Are you going to buy your own ring? What happens when you have kids? Will he assist you in providing for them? I doubt it. He knows he doesn't have to do anything cause you will always be there to foot the bill. Drop the rope. It won't hurt for that long. Good luck 💜

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  • I think he is using you, I had an ex boyfriend who totally used me for money, honestly I couldn't break up with him soon enough

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  • Cope by not being shallow😜

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  • talk to him about it

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