Should I test my boyfriend loyalty?

a couple of days ago i checked his phone and saw that he was messaging another girl on twitter. they had barely introduced themselves and the conversation stopped the day after due to her not replying.
i confronted him and told him that i couldn't be with him because after this i was never going to trust him so he gave me his passwords so that i would stay. he changed his passwords the next day and offered to give them to me again but i said no (i'm still logged in but he doesn't know) we're still together but i want to know if he's going to really be faithful on the future so i messaged the girl that he was messaging. i told her everything and asked her if she would send him a message again so i could see if he would reply to her or ignore her for me. She agreed to message him but now i don't k ow if i want to go through with it.
Im scared of him replying and having to break up with him. and i also feel like i could be pushing it because it wouldn't be him initiating a conversation anymore... help me 😭

Updates:
i tried breaking up with him on Tuesday and it was just too sad and it wasn't what i wanted but the reason i fell like i maybe should "test him" is because i don't want this to happen again but i do love him

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Its so sad when you feel like you have to resort to that and to hear that you're not just doing it out of anger or spite but a fear that you have that maybe you can't trust him.
    Hard to say what you should do from this, but really need to think about him and what he's done or said and figure out do you really trust him? can you trust him? Would it be better to find someone else before you get hurt? They're important questions.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • omg. that's almost the same situation as my ex best friend and I... I suggest you keep calm and dont accuse your boyfriend of cheating...

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    • it was cheating, he told her that she was cute and he would like to get to know her by talking and maybe taking her out on a date :(

    • they never went out though and when i confronted him he told me those weren't his intentions and that it was all talk

    • maybe you should break up with him. he told the girl that. he doesn't seem like a loyal boyfriend to me

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What Guys Said 6

  • Okay so, just to make sure that I'm reading this correctly:
    Your boyfriend was talking (just talking, not like inviting her to come over and lick his ballsack or something?) to a girl on twitter (whom he barely knew and barely bothered to introduce himself to) for one day.
    And you immediately think he's cheating on you? I don't intend to be mean but you've got some trust issues. There's around 3.5 billion women on this planet, and you can't possibly expect him to avoid these for the rest of his life just because you think he'll have sex with them the very moment they are having a fun conversation. He should be allowed to have casual female friends if he wants to - you have no say in that - and if you do think you have that right, you are being way too clingy.
    (Admitted, if they're exes of his or if there was some other sexual history, it would be different.)

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    • damn right.

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    • yeah after seeing your responses you were right to leave him.

    • Ahh okay that changes it a lot. My apologies.
      Does he do this more often? If not, I'd just talk to him and ask him what it was about.

  • You already can't trust him and it doesn't seem like you're interested in building it so just... go

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    • Update: Testing him isn't going to make him a better at commitment, and just because it's hard doesn't mean you shouldn't move on

  • goodness how old are you 14? do your self a favor, cut the childish game playing, cut the shit tests. was he trying to hook up with her? you never indicate that, if he was not, then you have no grounds to stand on, nor do you have any right to tell him who he can and can't talk to, nor do you have any right to snoop on him.

    all I see in you is a pathetic, insecure little child of a girl, that is unworthy of his attention. game playing is thevery definition of manipulation and a narcissistic personality which is something you likely have. I hope he wakes up and dumps you.

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    • he told her that he would take her out on a date and that he thought she was cute. did you read the whole thing before commenting?

    • I did, I didn't see that part. still not a fan of shit tests, but you did the right thing by leaving. in your shoes it's not worthy it

  • wow u put yourself in deep shit

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  • That is the best way to test his loyalty. it's not wrong to do.

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  • The moment you test him and he is real honest with you. Thats end of story

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What Girls Said 1

  • don't test him

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