Please help me my mom is cheating what do I do?

Hi, i'm not going to say my name but i am 14 years old. Today i found out that my mom is cheating on my dad, both of my brothers know. My one brother is 17(i'm going to call him J) and the other is 16(i'm going to call him E), she does no know that i know about her cheating. i first had suspicions when i was 12, she wasn't cheating at the time but i always jump to conclusions, for the past 4 months my mom has become obsessed with this game. She meets real people and becomes friends with them, she is legally insane by the way, anyway i knew she was hiding something but i never knew what until today when i heard her having phone sex with some random guy. According to my brothers she sends nudes to a bunch of different guys and has been doing the phone sex stuff for a long time to. When J told E, E got so angry he punched a brick wall and broke his hand. My brothers didn't tell my parents why he did it and they still don't know. I have no idea what to do, this is terrible timing for me because i have an eating disorder that im just starting to get through. Also my suicidal thoughts are going away, i dont wanna cut myself anymore, i don't think about all the times I've been molested and i finally started to get happy. I dont want my parents to divorce and i don't wanna relapse either, I've been smoking and drinking to solve my problems and its kinda working but only for a short time. I dont know what im gonna do, J is almost 18 so if they do divorce ill want to live with him. Im stressed and scared and also starving myself again, im not purging though. i need help, thank you


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sorry this is happening to you. It's things like this, that force you to grow up faster then you'd like.

    You can't change your parents or what they do.

    As long as they're together and providing a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and food, about the best you can do is use their bad behavior as something NOT to do in your life!

    At the same time, stop making YOUR life any more difficult. Drinking and smoking don't solve anything - EVER. Neither does cutting yourself or eating poorly. What you CAN do is take care of yourself - as much as possible.

    Find friends who you can vent with, and hang out with, that have GOOD life habits. If you use your mom's cheating as an excuse to misbehave, it's only going to make your life even worse. Take one day at a time. They're NOT divorced - at least not now, so go on with what you have for the time being.

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    • Ur probably right but should I tell my dad?

    • If you want to end their marriage right away, then yes. Think completely about the consequences of your actions. Should he know? Personally, I think so. But maybe it's better if he hears it from another adult. I guarantee when he finds out, things are going to get a LOT worse in your house. Parents arguing, fighting, and possibly getting physical with each other. Yelling, crying, and someone likely getting kicked out of the house are all possibilities.

      Prepare yourself for all those things emotionally, and physically. It's not going to be easy. Please... stay away from the smoking and drinking, even during this time. Remember, the problem is your parent's responsibility, not yours. The unfortunate result will be you and your brother's getting the fallout from their response to each other. I wish you wouldn't have to go through this. Friends can be a big help during times like this.

    • Thank u so much. That really helped

What Guys Said 2

  • you've been smoking and drinking to solve your problems?
    I'm 29, and I don't solve my problems with smoking or drinking... I don't know but are you sure you're 14 years old?

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  • This entire post is the definition of fucked up.

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    • Yeah I know

    • Welcome to my life. by the way it gets worse

    • I tried to keep it as happy as possible

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