How long does it take you to get over someone?

It's really hard for me does anyone has tips?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't believe you ever actually get over someone you loved, the love will always be there, even if you hate them, the love just gets pushed away. If they truly loved you, they still love you. So the feelings will always be there, the memories always come back at times, there are things you will always miss. You may find another that you fall in love with, but you will probably find yourself comparing them to the other from time to time. It doesn't mean they are always a rebound. I was dumped by someone I spent a year with 6 months ago, I saw a future with her, I was devastated, I still am not completely over her, and came to understand I won't be. I started seeing someone else 2 months ago, at first I had to be careful not to call her by my exes name, it happened once, she didn't hear thank god. I still can't bring myself to drive past her house.

    Take some time to grieve, if you need to cry, let yourself, if you feel angry, it's ok, you may go through a point you blame yourself, which is normal. If you need to see a psych, do it, I have been. Life will continue to go on, there will never be someone just like them, but you may find someone else you may fall for, in the mean time, there's also some things about single life that can be enjoyed, there's pros and cons to both

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The only way to move on is to let go first. Letting go means cutting all means of contact , and removing all traces of him from your life by getting rid of anything that has sentimental value i. e. photos, texts, gifts , his phone number etc. Keeping things that remind you of your ex feeds your memories and memories feed your pain.

    Time doesn't heal your pain.. it's what you do with your time that heals it. That's why it's important to keep active. Try new things , create new memories. Anything that will distract you from persistently thinking about your ex and the breakup. Eventually your memories will fade and your pain Will ease

    It's our own thoughts that cause us the most pain.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 54

  • There is no specific answer, there are too many variables. It depends on the individual, on the length of the relationship, the intensity of feelings involved, the nature of the breakup and the circumstances that you both find yourself in after the breakup.

    As a worst case scenario example, if you had been together for 10 years since your early teens, you had just found out that you're pregnant, you had a house together and you broke up because you found out he had cheated on you with your own sister, that might take a long time to get over.

    Best case scenario, your relationship was drifting, your heart was never really in it and you kind of like someone else anyway. That might take you only a week to get over.

    It all depends on those variables. It also depends on your strength of character and on how you go about trying to get over it.

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    • Lmao @ worst case scenario

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    • Will do. With cinammon, and vanilla ice cream. Just for you. Yeah, I'm a people pleaser.

    • Ehh without the cinnamon please and you're the best!!

  • A. you're tender age.. you don't really have any clue how to overcome such a setback.. cause you didn't have any damn idea even when you were falling for the guy.. so it's normal hun. Let the time heal it.. try to involve yourself in some creative works.. listen to music.. no sad music..

    B. You are completely normal.. no need to be paranoid thinking why he left you..

    IT'S "HARD" FOR ANY DAMN PERSON IF HE/SHE IS IMMENSELY INVOLVED IN THE RELATIONSHIP! So get over him. He left you for a better reason, if he did. Something better is awaiting! ๐Ÿ˜Š Anything happens for a good reason.. okay.. so cheer up! ๐Ÿ‘

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  • really depends on the relationship. i've had relationships end and i was over it the next day. I've had relationships end and it took months if not a year or more to get over it

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  • Took me about a month. She was the first woman I was actually the most serious about and she broke my heart, which is why the hurt was there for so long. I thought I would never get over her and could never love again but now I'm long done with it and even feel like we should've never met in the first place.

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  • First , acknowledge your feelings. You are right to be hurt , sad, angry etc But don't let it consume you.
    I like to write a lot. So I express my feelings anyway I can. Poem's, stories whatever. I write as I like be it hate , hurt, anger, sadness or a combo. It helps me get thing's off my chest. Maybe you can write or draw or paint or just hang with your friend's or talk to G&G's to help you out. I think I have never encountered you ( sorry if I have ! :p ) but if you asked I try to help you.

    Thing's will suck and hurt for now. But don't worry. The end is just another beginning and you will continue to meet good people and someone special might be close so don't spend too much time been down or you might miss him ! Don't take too long to try and smile. :)

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    • Aawh yeah that's a good idea I'll try that and no we never talked before hhah thanks

    • Well good luck anyway. You will have dark days but soon day breaks away the night.

      I am a bit random but if you ever want to talk or follow or whatever feel free. The I will bother you with " do you think my crush likes me too " stuff XD

    • Thank you๐Ÿ˜Š

      And sure๐Ÿ˜‚

  • It will depend on how attached you are. Best cure you probably wonโ€™t like to hear is to start going with someone else sounds crude but it works best and most immediate.

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    • I strongly advise against that

      can do more harm than good. nd not just to the rebound, but also to the person trying to move on.

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    • I believe you

      rebound isn't good for anyone

    • @SteppingOnRoses nope but I'd argue it's worse for the person being rebounded than the one on the rebound. Rebounding is a very selfish act.

  • With experience, you can get over anyone literally at a moment's notice. Also, invest more in yourself than in anyone else because only you have the ability to determine your own self worth and level of happiness. Spend time getting to know yourself and strengthen areas in your life that seem to be lacking ie: play an instrument, workout, read, travel etc.

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  • Years.

    And I found out the hard way my best girl "friend" was actually my first love. I didn't understand my emotions back then, and was very shy. Now I got rejected by her 20 years later.

    I will be going to a therapist.

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  • I believe it is their loss so why would I waste my energy on trying to get over them. do exercises. it will make you feel good.

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  • hi im sure you remember me... hear me out, i actually have something to say over this.

    earlier over the other discussion. you mentioned a reason why i don't have a girlfriend...

    that reason being is because peyton and i broke up a few weeks ago. due to she's going to college in a different state.. we were together for 1 year and 5 months.
    I... I loved that girl. so yeah the break up was hard and still is. getting over someone you really care about is never easy and takes a while for those mental wounds to heal.
    A few girls have given me their numbers from school.. but i never text them or call. 3 weeks, i feel isn't enough time to move on yet.. im single yes. but she's constantly on my mind.
    im sorry im ranting over here, not much help i guess๐Ÿ˜…
    here's what she looks like..

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  • Spend time with other people you love. Like friends, family etc.
    It seems simple but it helps, trust me. Its good being with people who care about you.
    For me it took 6 months the first time to be over her, but a few years till i actually wanted to date agaim

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  • It depends on the time you have been together.. if you stayed together 4 months it takes 4 months to completely get over him.. if you stayed 2 months then you need to 2 months.. this rule applies for months.. if you stayed with him for 1 year it usually take half the period which is 6 months.. if 2 years then 1 year! got it? :D and ofcourse this rule comes if u really love him not just messing around.. cos love is hard and painful..

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    • Damn๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    • His age is 40. He didn't invest in the relationship that much but we were together for 4mos and knew each other for 6mos. Seems that he's living his life after giving me inconsistent behavior. So this means he has completely moved on, right?

  • In some cases you never do. Time to move on with your life and chalk it up as a learned experience. And there's a reason it didn't work out - so consider you likely dodged a huge bullet.
    The best revenge its to live AWESOMELY. :)

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  • Months personally. Depends on how much they meant to me as a person. The deeper the bond we had that harder it is. I usually remember them from stupid jokes I hear or something we would always laugh about. It's even harder not hearing how their days are or even being around them. Bleh

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  • It depends on the girl and how attached I was to her.

    C

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  • It depends. Years, months, weeks... there isn't an exact answer for this question.

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  • crush, it took me 1 year, but it will go by time , just don't think about that spend time with friends, do some hobby, do whatever you like try to talk to people about random stuff it will divert your mind , be calm, think positive

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    • but i think you will do it soon as i have seen you few hours back in the "equal pay question of both genders" and lol you are strong

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    • Thanks lol

    • You are welcome ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜Š

  • Depends on the person, if they did something or I did something, and also if I can find someone better than them.

    It really just depends on how fast you can find someone better than the last person you were seeing...

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  • It took me year to get over my first girlfriend ( ex)
    Some advice just keep yourself busy and meet new
    friends. Maybe go to the local library to meet new people

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  • never been in a relationship
    I know I know #SingleInexperiencedLoveguru ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
    but took a long time to forget s crush approx 2-3 months

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  • Generally speaking I follow the 1 day per month rule max.

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  • its never easy but you just have to occupy yourself and take your mind off it as much as you can

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  • I haven't had that much feelings for any girl yet but I'd say finding someone better might help

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  • Do not think about them. Focus on becoming who you want to be. It takes a long time. But it does get better.

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  • It's varies a lot...

    Best way to get over someone is to crush on someone new

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  • Love only goes away with love. Start dating.

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  • The only way for me is to find someone else who is equal to that person or better. That's why I haven't been able to move on since 2012. Even though all of it was my fault...

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  • I mean I've never been with anyone before, by choice ๐Ÿ˜‚ so I'm not sure but have you tried talking to a close friend about it?

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  • I was over her before I dumped her, so take that as you will

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  • something that always comes to mind is murder... ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ no but seriously just date other men, but no one you want to have a serious relationship with

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 27

  • I have had two exes:
    1st one: He was a insecure psycho. So leaving him was a weight off my shoulders. I thought i was immediately over him. But only when I picked up the anxiety of the verbal abuse was still in my life. That still isn't over. But I never felt heartbroken, as i did in the relationship

    2nd ex: I fell in love with him when i was 21 going on 22 and now i am 25 going onto 26 , and, I can say I still love him the most i did for any man in my life. But he was a two timing jack so never going back.

    Current bf: He is a good guy, but that's it. Not compatible mentally or sexually. Though he is in love with me. I love him not in love anymore. But I cheated on him recently. I would be heartbroken when i do end it. Not sure how long it would take.

    But the reason the 2nd ex was the hardest was he wasn't just one thing: He was a great communicator, great sense of humor, great at sex and being very loving and he just had the balance. But he was also a huge liar.

    I think that if the person has that balance and not good at only one thing, they end up being a person you will never forget.

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  • I'm in the same boat right now, so I feel your pain. Everyone is different, just like it is for people mourning the death of a loved one; it's a grieving process. I have my good days and my bad, but I know I am slowly healing each day. I would recommend getting rid of all things that have a connection to your ex; pictures, gifts, things you shared together. It will help you not to have a constant reminder of them, which triggers those feelings. I also found it therapeutic to write a letter expressing all of your feelings about the breakup. Even if you don't send it to your ex, it helps get those feelings off your chest. I hope this helps, and remember, you WILL get through this :)

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  • Fairly quickly. I'll be incredibly upset and hurt for a short while (A week or so depending on how deep the relationship was) but then I'll start to find reasons as to why it's better now without them and move forward because I don't like to dwell on negative feelings. Relationships aren't a priority of mine either.

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  • Not so long, with the last like 3 months?
    He hunted me so much it was actually pretty easy to let go, well first I had my struggles but we met again and sit down and that made everything super clear to me and I saw who he is towards me and he wasn't worth losing my energy to think about him
    He is still in my head, but more like an old classmate instant of a lover, I realized I wasn't so much in love with him, but more with the imagination of what we could have been, maybe that's also a reason why I got over so fast

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  • Not so long usually.
    If I truly had feelings for him, maybe 2 months or so. Having goals other than love in my life distracts me from love aches. I only think about it a. lot when I'm bored.

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  • Time helps. When I broke up, it took me about 7 months to completely, completely recover

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  • yes it just depends, I'm not over an ex of mine :/ don't think I ever will be

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  • It all depends on how much you're into him/her and how long you've been dating!
    I've had a few really serious relationships (2-3) b4 I met my husband (in my mid 20s) and it took me a longer time to get over my first 'big love'... and the next after...
    Now looking back I can see we're just not right for each other and I'm glad I met my husband a few years later. ;) [Who's the love of my life for 17 years now! <3 ]
    Give it time and let yourself heal!

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  • Depends on how much of an attachment is there. I don't tend to fall for many, but the ones that I do, I fall hard. So it takes awhile.

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  • I get over easily, usually I can turn off thoughts about him. I might need a day or two. But I might still remember him from time to time.

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  • I don't think ever. There's always a part of me that will always care. Just depends how deep it was between us.

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  • Depends on how much I like that person.

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  • There is no time set. We all deal in different ways, at different speeds. Focus on positive things in your life, a pet, a job, do things that you like and surround yourself with those you love.

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  • A long as it takes me to get under someone else.

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  • Not too long. Couple of days max.

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  • Usually months or maybe years it just depends how long it takes me to realize that it wasn't meant to be hopefully since I'm experience I won't let anyone effect me no more.

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  • Focus on something you like to do.

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  • Maybe a few days, if it's like a crush or something

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  • Same. I've liked this guy for over a year and I know it's not going anywhere

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  • I don't know, I've heard a month for every year you were together.

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  • Depends how long they wasted your time and how much you cared.

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  • its part of growing up and becoming more aware of yourself.
    time - dep. on individual.
    how you cope
    if you see things more negative, will take longer.
    if you see things as, i learned great deal of myself and i will bring my new positive self to meet new people then you will be happier and you never know, the next person will bring you joy and may last a life time or may come to your life and you will learn more about your self.

    enjoy the journey of life with a positive attitude.

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  • Depends. Sometimes it comes and goes.

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  • Depends on how long/much/intensely I liked them.
    One guy I liked off and on for like 7 years took me about a year to get over. Another was for 1 semester took me about 2 months to get over him... by get over I mean I stop thinking about him 24/7 and i no longer desire him even if I see him walk by

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  • I was always the one to break up with my boyfriends so I got over them while I was still with them. When it's someone I'm not in a relationship with and they have decided to stop seeing me It can take me almost a year... Even after meeting someone else, which sucks because usually that's around the time they start wanting to see me again.

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  • There are those people that while they can't be in your life, they'll forever have a special place in your heart.

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    • But as a psychologist you should slap yourself every time you think of him as to associate him with pain. Eventually you'll hate him LOL it could potentially work ๐Ÿ˜…

    • Lmao I'll remember that one

  • it usually takes 3 months for me. I was really attached to this guy once, took me about 4 1/2 months

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