So I was in a relationship with a man 10 years older than me for about a year or so. We lived together an did most things together. I thought we were reasonable 'happy' except a few things that got on my nerves like him msging other females an not knowing about it for a while an then finding out. (a woman always knows..) An then one day he left me for another girl, an ex girlfriend in fact. She has a daughter an he's a sucker for kids. I was totally devastated for months. I had to take care of moving out an everything by myself. I asked him continuously what did I do, please come back blah blah blah... He insisted his decision was final. So eventually each day I got better an started to cleanse, then out of the blue he messages me saying sorry. I didn't except at first then I did then one thing lead to another, he left her an came back to me. We have been seeing each other for about 5 months now on and off. I'm ready to get back together but for some reason he still wants to message these girls. I don't want him to. I told him its them or me, he said either way he loses something. So for the millionth time I have stopped messaging him/not replying. He says he wants me but does he really? I'm so over it all, I just want something final. I can't go on like this anymore. Also another thing I might add is I find myself catching him out on random lies. Would it be like this forever? Do I go back there or just cleanse myself from him an slowly make him a distant memory?
Most Helpful Girl
Wow, reading this I felt like we were dating the same person. My boyfriend (now ex), who was exactly 10years older than me, broke up with me a few days ago and one of the biggest problems we had in our relationship was him keeping in contact (a lot of contact) with his exes and past hookups. It always made me really uncomfortable, which I told him as much, but he made excuses why he "had" to keep in touch. I think it's an ego boost to have girls faun over them so of course they don't want to let that go. He also had a tendency to cloud the truth. He'd often say conflicting things that made it hard to trust him. If you're going to be able to make a relationship work with him then his messaging other girls will either have to no bother you or he has to stop. You've already asked him to stop and he didn't sound very receptive. At this point I'd make it clear that if he wants to be with you, he needs to make those changes or else you're out the door (that part you have to mean and follow through with). Maybe when he realizes how serious you, it'll push him to make a real decision. It's very possible he will be unwilling to give up the messaging and in that case you'll be happier in the long run if you move on. I know it might not feel like that right now, but it's more painful to stay and continue to get hurt. Good luck and I'm sure whatever happens will be for the best!1