My ex and I were dating for a total of 2.5 years. He was the love of my life and I was his. There was no doubt in our minds that we'd end up getting married and spending the rest of our lives together. Things started to go downhill in January 2017 after he started worrying about what his friends and family thought about us (there's a 10 year age gap between us). We broke up a month later mostly because of this and all of the arguments that accompanied it, but we ended up talking and seeing each other again two weeks later. The same thing happened in March: we broke up then started seeing each other two weeks later, then broke up again. For the next couple of months, we kept talking, but never started a relationship again. He kept telling me I should move on, so I did. Or tried to. Just last Saturday, he admitted he was still in love with me and will never be able to move on from me. This was also the day he found out I'd been seeing (and being intimate) with his friend since after we broke up in March. He is completely devastated by this. His relationship with his friend is completely different, but he's going to give him another chance. He was sent home from work yesterday for crying in the bathroom, he called me bawling last night (first time I've ever heard him cry), and said that he's never been more upset in his life. He said the thought of me and his friend being intimate is "repulsive" and that I was the only woman he ever truly loved. He went on to say he still has feelings for me and still cares about me even after all of this, but he doesn't see a way to go on together unless God shows him one. I've never felt more awful in my life. Every minute is spent thinking about what I've done and how much I've hurt him. I feel physically sick constantly. Does anyone have any advice? Do you think there's still hope for us, even if it takes us a long time to recover? Especially since he gave his friend another chance? I can't imagine my life without him.