Is it rude and shallow to break-up with a guy for lack of sexual feelings?

I might sound rude and shallow but it isn't doing anything for me now.
The guy I am seeing since past 5 months or so is not the same normal man for me anymore.
We both decided to take our relationship to the next intimacy level but it failed for me.

It turns out that this poor dude has abnormal body as in he has hair growing on his shoulders back and butt as well. Not only that he has overly hairy chest / belly and legs to add upto it.

Now I haven't ever known that civilised modern evolved men can grow hair on this odd parts.

To me he isn't that man anymore. I see him as abnormal less evolved human male. He still has genes of pre historic caveman I guess.

Want to dump him ASAP.
Am I shallow?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, you are also stupid and judgmental. Though you still have the right to break up over those things. If you don't like to be with him, then don't be with him. Let him find someone he deserves instead.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • sure it may be judgmental, but everyone is allowed to have their preferences. don't ever think that you're obligated to be attracted to someone or to date them. if you ever just stop feeling it, you can always breakup with the person and it's totally fine.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 15

  • No, it's not. If he's not fulfilling your needs, you need to either find a solution or get out of there

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    • He can fulfill my needs.. but I can't be sexually attracted to him

    • Then he isn't fulfilling your needs. Part of sexual need is sexual attraction, and he isn't providing that

  • Troll post.

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  • Yes you should dump him however you need to be gentle about it.

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  • What, you thought all men naturally looked like underwear models? Jesus Christ... ask him to shave: all other men you've seen shave too, though not all of them were born with back hair.

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    • That's what my concern is... what man has hairy shoulders back and buttocks? None

    • A lot do: almost all men have hair on theur butt and many have at least some hair on their backs. Many shave it off but still it's disturbing that you actually think being hairless is the natural state of men. It's basically the equivalent of a guy thinking all women's bodies look like those of the lingerie models on billboards...

    • Dude... even you have hair ON the buttocks? Am talking on... not in the crack...

  • You're under zero obligation to stay with anyone you don't want to, for any reason.

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  • I'd say sex is a very important part of a relationship.
    But if its just mainly his hair, why don't you have him shave his legs, chest, and belly?

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    • I still find him a Caveman. Since he has hairy shoulders back and buttocks and that's a abnormal thing

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    • Are you still single man?

    • yeah, so taking my advice is probably a bad idea.

  • You have described every European and Middle Easterner.

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    • Every? How about you...
      And they get women interested in thrm sexually?

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    • Can't digest that a Chinese woman Would love gorilla hairy man... since Chinese women are naturally used to almost hairless men and they themselves are also most hairless women around.
      by the way am now curious how hairy are you and do you wax or trim it off? Hairy shoulders back buttocks as well?

    • See, her Chinese sister hates your hairiness

  • Hilarious! or should I say 'hairlarious'... LOL (No, he is still a human being. Many men are just hairy).

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  • No its normal.

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  • not at all

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  • It's fine just be sure it's not your libido that's dropped as this can happen to girls on the pill

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  • No. Sex is a huge part of a relationship and when you're with someone that can't satisfy your sexual needs, it's normal to consider a breakup.
    Obviously that's not all that matters but I would never say that it is a shallow reason

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  • nope, thats ok. donwhats right for your self. sex drive match is important.

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  • it is a good reason to break up.

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  • Hit him over the head with a club and drag him out of your cave

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What Girls Said 25

  • Hahaha I feel ya! I dumped a guy for the same reason once. I mean some girls like it or don't mind it, but for me it's a turn off. I can put up with anything, the only thing I can't stand are overly hairy or fat guys. It's not shallow, it's just who we are.

    My hairy guy had so much hair on his shoulders and his back and his but and everywhere! My friends who hooked me up with him knew about this and they didn't tell me. I saw it when we were supposed to have sex for the first time, he took his cloths off and then I saw all that abnormal, sweaty (since it was summer) and smelly hair, arghh god! I told him I forgot I had something to do and ran away. I considered telling him to shave it all but then my friends told me not to bother because everyone told him that already many times and he just doesn't want to, he likes it like that. Well, okay, goodbye.

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    • Am in similar situation. I realised that when we got naked the very first time to have sex. Well gladly I wasn't fully naked... I was in my undergarments. Glad I didn't expose myself to an animal!! Seriously, am happy to not strip. hehee. were you naked with him?
      I don't know why other women don't realise how abnormal it is to have hair growth on the shoulders back and buttocks. Seriously, that's very odd and I see it as abnormal thing.
      Having somewhat hairy chest is one thing... that's quite common and can be overlooked, although I prefer if a man shaved chest and legs as well.
      You too?

    • I wasn't completely naked either, luckily. I also think it's abnormal but it's not like I think less of him as a person because of that, his personality was still ok. It's just me, I find it gross. And I think it's selfish from him to refuse to shave or wax it. I mean we girls also have hair at places and we go through constant pain and effort to remove it and look pretty! If we can do it then they should be able to do it too. I also prefer smooth man. Hairy legs and arms are alright, but everything else needs to be smooth.

  • It's not shallow ending a relationship when you're not happy in it.

    People though the word
    " shallow" at you when they just don't like you having a different opinion or preference than themselves. It's so silly and immature to call people shallow.

    It's your life, so do whatever makes you happy. Life's too short to spend it with someone you're not totally happy with. It's unfair to you and it's unfair to the guy.

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    • Pre historic caveman used to grow thick coarse body hair EVERYWHERE. Agree?
      Humans evolved and now we have shed lot of body hair. We don't need it anymore. Whatever hair we normal men and women grow is reminant of those pre historic days. See how fine hair we women have on legs and non anywhere else except Groin. Similarly for men. The only hair men have is around belly button and legs...
      A civilized evolved man doesn't get any other body hair.. at least no one has hairy shoulders and back and buttocks

  • Nope not Shallow at all. You have expectations & standards of what you like / want from a guy just like, He would want with you. Plus hygiene is a MUST. Physical attraction matter's a lot that's life people need to accept that just like personality matter's as well. DUMP his ass , If you aren't happy.

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    • I find him abnormal. A evolutionary lacking man. I guess evolution has left him behind since still he grows hairs like pre historic caveman used to... even on should and back. He can shave to artificially look a Smooth skinned man... but I don't want to have sex with aan who is closer to our less evolved Cavemen.
      Do you share the same thought as I do on this issue?

    • My preference is guy's needs to have no arm pit hair or chest hair and no beard & mustache that's pretty simple. @cool1chic

  • Hairy men are sexy , :-/ I don't get your logic

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    • Pre historic caveman used to grow thick coarse body hair EVERYWHERE. Agree?
      Humans evolved and now we have shed lot of body hair. We don't need it anymore. Whatever hair we normal men and women grow is reminant of those pre historic days. See how fine hair we women have on legs and non anywhere else except Groin. Similarly for men. The only hair men have is around belly button and legs...
      A civilized evolved man doesn't get any other body hair.. at least no one has hairy shoulders and back and buttocks

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    • It's not a turn off for you but am glad even you do realise and agree that having hair there is annoying abnormal and not perfctly Really possible for a male body

    • Whenever you have a lot of muscle or friction the body hair reduces

  • Don't break up with him because of that hair, it can be fixed, there are technologies that remove hair completely in a few procedures. But in this case you'll have to tell him you dislike it. But in general, if you have 0 sexual chemistry even without hair, you MUST break up.

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  • maybe yes

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    • I find him abnormal. A evolutionary lacking man. I guess evolution has left him behind since still he grows hairs like pre historic caveman used to... even on should and back. He can shave to artificially look a Smooth skinned man... but I don't want to have sex with aan who is closer to our less evolved Cavemen.
      Do you share the same thought as I do on this issue?

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    • Why aren't you replying now?
      Hehehehe

    • Just let me know... how hairy you like.. simple enough?

  • i think its disgusting you think if a normal human trait like that, but its not shallow. insulting him like this is disgusting though.

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    • I find him abnormal. A evolutionary lacking man. I guess evolution has left him behind since still he grows hairs like pre historic caveman used to... even on should and back. He can shave to artificially look a Smooth skinned man... but I don't want to have sex with aan who is closer to our less evolved Cavemen.
      Do you share the same thought as I do on this issue?

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    • Ehhhh why can't you just like the hair

    • 24 year old being proud she's rude. smh. grow up.

  • Not very, he as not fulfilling your needs

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    • I find him abnormal. A evolutionary lacking man. I guess evolution has left him behind since still he grows hairs like pre historic caveman used to... even on should and back. He can shave to artificially look a Smooth skinned man... but I don't want to have sex with aan who is closer to our less evolved Cavemen.
      Do you share the same thought as I do on this issue?

    • Glad. Can you please make @warmapplecrumble understand the same thing as we think?

  • No it's good you're being honest!

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  • No, I don't think you're shallow. I would find that weird too! And also, I've always believed that there isn't much point in dating someone you're not attracted to. I mean; let's say you were to spend the rest of your life together; should you just suck it up and "stop being shallow"? Nah, I say; there is literally a million other men out there and more so; go and find someone you want to do every day :)

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    • I find him abnormal. A evolutionary lacking man. I guess evolution has left him behind since still he grows hairs like pre historic caveman used to... even on should and back. He can shave to artificially look a Smooth skinned man... but I don't want to have sex with aan who is closer to our less evolved Cavemen.
      Do you share the same thought as I do on this issue?

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    • If you see a man with very hairy arms.. you try to avoid him at all costs?
      Do you at least try to be his friends?

    • Of course I can be his friend.. just not his lover

  • No, it's not shallow.

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    • I find him abnormal. A evolutionary lacking man. I guess evolution has left him behind since still he grows hairs like pre historic caveman used to... even on should and back. He can shave to artificially look a Smooth skinned man... but I don't want to have sex with aan who is closer to our less evolved Cavemen.
      Do you share the same thought as I do on this issue?

    • Never dated a guy like that, but I do agree with you.

  • Nope. Nothing wrong with wanting to be sexually attracted to someone. Just be friends. Not now because I bet it's hard and not that simple, but yeah give it some time and befriend them

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  • Although sex it's everything in a relationship, sex is a big part of a relationship, if you don't feel comfortable doing so or even enjoy it you should leave that person because you might start feeling like you want someone else and then everything will get worst. Just leave the poor guy or try to convince him to trim it up.

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  • Does his dick still work?

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    • Who knows... I just saw him naked.. realised how pre historic caveman hairy he is... and got turned off. Never cared to try wether his dick works or not. But as far as I remember it was erect when I saw him naked.
      Why do you ask?

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    • No no, he doesn't have any fleas or any Body odor at all. But the mere sight of so much body hair all over the body of a man including the weird odd parts which in my opinion only Cavemen had such as the hairy shoulders, the back and the buttock is highly ugly for me. It makes me cringe even when I write this and imagine it. I puked a bit when I saw him stripped down in boxers in front of me

    • His dick is in perfect shape I guess because he was rock hard and it was long , as much as I could see it under the boxers

  • It's not shallow at all. If you are not physically attracted to him in the first place, you shouldn't be dating him. Don't make him miserable.

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    • I guess any normal average woman would feel the same way about him as I do. Isn't it?

  • That's a little hurtful, I would think. Have him shave what he can if it bothers you... But, I suppose if that's really a deal breaker for you, you should do what you think is right.

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    • I find him abnormal. A evolutionary lacking man. I guess evolution has left him behind since still he grows hairs like pre historic caveman used to... even on should and back. He can shave to artificially look a Smooth skinned man... but I don't want to have sex with aan who is closer to our less evolved Cavemen.
      Do you share the same thought as I do on this issue?

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    • That was just an option since his hair growth bothered you. I think at this point you've made it clear that you have an issue with his "abnormal" hair growth, and can't find a solution to overcoming it. If it honestly bothers you this much, break up.

    • Yeah. Having hair growth of this amount and on those parts is my deep concern. Is he evolutionary lacking biologically.. are his genes somewhat defective and he carries some animal's genees... wo knows... ugh
      Personally you can easily like such a man once he shaved everywhere?

  • I'm sorry.. But that is really shallow and petty reason to break up with someone. 🙄

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    • I find him abnormal. A evolutionary lacking man. I guess evolution has left him behind since still he grows hairs like pre historic caveman used to... even on should and back. He can shave to artificially look a Smooth skinned man... but I don't want to have sex with aan who is closer to our less evolved Cavemen.
      Do you share the same thought as I do on this issue?

    • So, you can date and even marry and have kids with such a hairy man?
      Once he waxes everywhere legs as well?

  • If it has repulsed you and you are not attracted to him anymore then you should dump him. It does kind of mean that you are abit shallow, but then again he doesn't sound exactly good looking or in good physical shape. But if you really liked him that wouldn't really matter to you. My boyfriend has acne all over his body but tbh it doesn't bother me at all, but then again he is very much into fitness and works out often.

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    • I find him abnormal. A evolutionary lacking man. I guess evolution has left him behind since still he grows hairs like pre historic caveman used to... even on should and back. He can shave to artificially look a Smooth skinned man... but I don't want to have sex with aan who is closer to our less evolved Cavemen.
      Do you share the same thought as I do on this issue?

  • If you can't have sex with him, then you can't have an intimate relationship. If you want an intimate relationship, boy bye

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    • I find him abnormal. A evolutionary lacking man. I guess evolution has left him behind since still he grows hairs like pre historic caveman used to... even on should and back. He can shave to artificially look a Smooth skinned man... but I don't want to have sex with aan who is closer to our less evolved Cavemen.
      Do you share the same thought as I do on this issue?

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    • I have no idea.

    • @shreya_shiry you didn't answer again and blocked me. People called me rude but I guess it's you who is rude

  • your not happy, so it's time to move on

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    • I find him abnormal. A evolutionary lacking man. I guess evolution has left him behind since still he grows hairs like pre historic caveman used to... even on should and back. He can shave to artificially look a Smooth skinned man... but I don't want to have sex with aan who is closer to our less evolved Cavemen.
      Do you share the same thought as I do on this issue?

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    • he would be a man I would not be interested in

    • Neither I am. Poor man.
      What kind of men are you interested in? Men as hairless as they can be everywhere?

  • Yes but you do you.

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    • I find him abnormal. A evolutionary lacking man. I guess evolution has left him behind since still he grows hairs like pre historic caveman used to... even on should and back. He can shave to artificially look a Smooth skinned man... but I don't want to have sex with aan who is closer to our less evolved Cavemen.
      Do you share the same thought as I do on this issue?

    • No but as I said. Do whatever you want

  • it is rude

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    • I find him abnormal. A evolutionary lacking man. I guess evolution has left him behind since still he grows hairs like pre historic caveman used to... even on should and back. He can shave to artificially look a Smooth skinned man... but I don't want to have sex with aan who is closer to our less evolved Cavemen.
      Do you share the same thought as I do on this issue?

  • judgmental Bitch. Its called hormones for a reason and hair is normal. Guys with less have less chance of having babies, so good luck... Bitch.

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    • WTF old woman. WTH. You aren't educated I guess. Having excssive hairs is not much related to hormones and if a man doesn't have much body hair doesn't mean he can't have babies. WTF. Did you skip biology classes in school?
      Asian , native American and African men are naturally smooth skinned.. yet they don't lack any hormones and they are able to have babies and also sexually satisfy their women. Get your facts right first. Dont call anyone bitch and all without any reason please.

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    • Where would you like such excess hairy man to shave and wax for you?

    • I guess probably cause I don't mind it, so I wouldn't expect him to shave/wax... hair is natural for men it is for us too, but we make ourselves pretty for them... but Its upto the guy if he wants to, kind of a personal choice

  • Yeah, pretty much all of the things you think about this guy and his hair are wrong. That amount of body hair is maybe not the most common, but it IS normal. He is not "less evolved".

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  • kind of

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    • If you were in my situation?

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    • I have never seen a guy who can have hairy shoulders and back... EW
      That's annoying and abnormal to me

    • true i get it, if i saw it i'd probably be acting the same way

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