If a guy says these things, is it a red flag?

Whenever we first started dating, he said that women who like dogs are lonely and bitter. Whenever I pet dogs, he gets pissed off and says that I love on dogs more than him. He also hates kids and doesn't want any. I'm just not sure why he hates kids and animals so much, those are like the most innocent things in the world..

p. s. I'll probably be leaving him soon because I've begun to realize his physical abuse is actually abuse. He thinks im bitchy so thats why he says he chokes me and hits me:/ I sound so pathetic but this is what my lifes come to.. asking weird questions on this site because I'm currently stuck with him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hum...
    Red flags?
    Yeah, kind of.
    If you do decide to stay with him keep an eye on things and be careful.
    Also, you and him need to talk about laying some ground rules...

    May I ask why you got together with him to start with?
    Perhaps it's possible for you to find out what you like and find someone who can provide those things in a way that's actually healthy?

    (I'm kind of assuming here that you like a dominant person that might discipline you at times and take control given that you're still with this guy that's beating you, please do correct me if I'm wrong)

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    • I always viewed control as love given my family background. but now that I'm getting older my ideas are changing. but I tend to attract abusive people.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You're not stuck with him. The only thing that's hindering you is your mind. You can move on as physically you're not stuck like a Siamese twin. You need to break loose from this individual who needs a mental evaluation ASAP. There are so many great people out there who would value you, why not give them a chance? This man is a habit AND habits aren't necessary even if it's hard to leave the familiar behind.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 10

  • Oh yeah, he sounds like a true winner. Mr BigMan who has to hit and beat a woman and do the same to animals. Gits a girl then winders why she shows more attention to a dog instead of him. Not saying women are weak but I was raise to never lay a hand on a women in a violent manner. That is 1 of the few things that set me off from a calm mood to swinging at a guy if I see that shit. To answer your question, yes, Those are several big red flags, leave his dumb ass.

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  • Yes definitely leave him especially if he's physically abusing you! Asking other people doesn't make you pathetic, you need other opinions in a situation like this, you may not even realize you're in an abusive relationship unless other people tell you bc you have clouded judgement from being so close to the situation. So yes, definitely leave him, and I would even report him to the police if I were you. Please leave him for your own safety!

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  • That guy is pathetic himself. It's of no use to stay with him. Better to leave as soon as possible and report about him to the cops about him beating you and harassing you. good luck out there

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  • Get out now. He is not so simply abusive as he is seriously damaged. He will get more abusive, also he will get more dangerous. He is emotionally disturbed and probably has some serious issues I can not diagnoses. Get away from him as fast as you can.

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  • It's definitely a red flag. Anybody who has that kind of hate and negative vibe is somebody you need to get away from.

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  • The comments were a red flag. Choking and hitting you is a leave right now and call the cops!

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  • Yes he does sound like a major red flag. I think you need to move on.. Best wishes on whatever choice you make.

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  • Get rid of his ass, that boy needs mental help.

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  • Pathetic indeed.

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  • Yes it is

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What Girls Said 16

  • you don't sound pathetic, don't let him get to you, he needs help and you should leave and file a restraining order hon

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  • Yup.

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  • Leave immediately. You should not stay with someone who is choking you and hitting you. Those are the most important red flags.

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  • HUGE RED FLAG... RUN!

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  • Break up. Now.

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  • He sounds like he has mental problems, leave ASAP.

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  • Get out of that relationship immediately. He sounds like he is a very controlling guy & he's already physically abusing you... you don't deserve that. Report him to the police.

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  • Hating dogs and kids are nothing wrong, it's weird but it's not a red flag.

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  • Yes, you have to leave him. First of all, you should have left when any abuse at all started. And hating animals? That's terrible. Please. Dump hios sorry ass.

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  • He probably has past traumas of some sort usually maybe of him as child. Probably doesn't like weak or vulnerable individuals. By the way your describing him he's already highly aggresive so at this point you can't help him if he's already being physically abusive. Just leave him before your too damaged and continue the cycle. Happy your asking for help even if it is through this site :) its helped me in the past. Best wishes to you

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    • actually he was sexually abused by his step father. very very sad but I can't let him use it as an excuse all the time.

  • Wow, that guy is very strange.
    I think he feels very lonely, he thinks your attention will go to dogs and kids.

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  • What the hell are you waiting for? For the abuse to get worse

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  • Deal breakers. Especially the kids one. Dump asap.

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  • I'm too young to be dating yet, but you should NOT stay with him!!! That's abuse. He doesn't deserve you. I personally have 5 dogs and would never date anyone who disliked dogs. If you want kids and love animals. Report him and leave.

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  • Leave him!! Immediately! No remorse! It is unacceptable to harm your partner without consent. (People like that.) He sounds like he's overprotective which is bad. ):

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  • Run as fast as you can!!! You deserve so much better!

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