Moving on from five year relationship?

I am going through a break up from a relationship of five years. It hurts bad. Ok this is kind of long and I would appreciate really true honest answers please. So here we go. I saw my ex a few days ago and we were good and he was being so affectionate to me like holding my hand.. hold my waist when we walked... kissed my cheek... just sweet... so we spent a few hours together. Towards the end of that day of us spending time together he started to act different like the affection went away... so we left each other and I called him while I was in my way home to talk about how be was acting.. long story short he broke up with me... he talked to me so rude he was mean to me... i was crying so hard while driving I could barely see... this broke me to my core... long story short he called me a hoe... smh he called me out my name and that hurt even more... our relationship was up and down a lot... no matter what he did to hurt me I would never call him out of his name... its crazy I am far from a hoe I never did anything to him to make him call me a ing hoe... i feel that there is a huge empty part of me after this break up... this really sucks... my self esteem is shot.. i kept thinking of what he is doing now.. like is he talking to other girls now.. these girls may be looking better than me and doing better than me... i feel that I will not find no one else and I will be alone.. it really sucks.. this man has told me I was the ugliest girlfriend that he been with and that the women that has tried to talk to him look better than me... he said that when we bad an argument... smh... I don't know y I am so hurt like this but I am really broken... we both had our shortcomings in the relationship but I don't know y he would call me out my name... i felt I defined my beauty in him... i just need help getting through.. i have no females friends my ex was my only friend I had. I am really down on myself and lack self love now. What do i do please
Moving on from five year relationship?
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