If I feel done with my ex, why do I enjoy dreaming about him and want to?

He's 25 and I'm 21. We dated on and off for 2 years. He was a selfish person and would abuse me emotionally. He would be so manipulative and make me feel crazy when I brought up something he did that bothered me. He would turn it around like it was always just my problem and that he didn't have time to try to solve any problems. He had to go. I have accepted we can't be together and even if we wanted to, it wouldn't work anyway because of certain circumstances and different ideas of what we want for a future. It just wouldn't work.

Although I have mostly detached from him emotionally, I find myself wanting to dream about him. I even enjoy these dreams because every time, he is the ideal man I always wanted him to be. The dreams are usually me fantasizing and reminiscing on our old sex life. He was my first love and the first man I had ever slept with and ever been with. Our sex life was the best thing about our relationship. We were always compatible and in the same page in that area. Even when I'm awake, I find myself playing back old memories from the bedroom.

Why do I want to dream about my ex when I'm through with him? And why do I enjoy it?

Side note: I broke up with him last month and we have not been in contact since. I plan to keep it this way and do not plan on trying for a friends with benefits because I don't think I could handle it.


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What Guys Said 2

  • No no, friends with benefits would be a bad choice for you and a win for him. You crave for sexual side of the relationship, that's nothing that can't be "recreated". The thing is you're single at the moment. You'll forget him as soon as you start dating someone else.

  • Ask him


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