How do I get back motivation from deaths and a breakup?

long story short. the past 2 years has been dreadful for me. i lost a grandfather to death , one of my best friends to death and a girlfriend who i "broke up with." ever since January when we broke up, I've been unmotivated especially staying in shape. i used to be at a good weight and in shape but the heartbreak from the ex set me over the edge gaining 25 pounds. its been 6 months already and im still healing. in a sense, im not motivated to get back into shape because im afraid if i do get back in shape, find my confidence and enter a new relationship, im fearful ill lose someone else. i didn't give much info because its so much but for the guys that work out and the girls that workout, any advice, any tips? im a junior in college by the way.
How do I get back motivation from deaths and a breakup?
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