Why is my exes engagement bothering me so much?

We broke up a year ago. I'm in a new relationship for 8 months now, I live with my boyfriend and I love him so much. I do not have any feelings or desires to be with my ex again. My current boyfriend is the complete opposite of my ex and it's perfect.

My ex moved to a new city, contacted me on and off asking for nudes and stuff (which I didn't indulge him with). Then a week ago he send me a photo (by mistake because it was just a flash in a dark background) and then he blocked me (although I didn't even have his number saved on my phone). Confused, I checked his fb and saw he was engaged.

For some reason it's still bothering me to no end. This man that use women, who treated me like shit, who told me he would never marry anyone, who I loved with my whole heart was getting married to another 20 year old (I'm 21) who he has only known for about 5 months (we were together 2 years and he cheated relentlessly).

I am over him. I wouldn't go back to him if I was given the chance to. So why does this bother me?

Updates:
1d
Quick update: he personally messaged me after not having contact for months just to tell me he's engaged, which just messed with my head all over again. Why would he do that?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • Couple things. You can't judge too much. He may be engaged after a short time, but you were with a new guy in the span of 2 months of your breakup and have already moved in with the guy. So take a step back in that regard. It's irrelevant to the story anyways.

    My guess as to why this is bothering you. You never mourned the relationship. You loved the guy for 2 years and you expect to be entirely over those emotions in 2 months, because you have a new guy? That's not how it works. That's not to say you didn't do the right thing or that you shouldn't have made the decisions you have. I'm trying to say that you should give yourself a bit of a break in regards to your emotions. It's okay for you to feel the knee jerk reaction to a guy you dated for 2 years, getting engaged fairly shortly after you two broke up. Allow yourself to feel those emotions and fully experience them so that you can mourn and move on from them. You don't need to contact your ex for this. You just need to let yourself experience it first so that you can get it out.

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    • 17h

      Either a way of letting you know the door is closing and he's saying his last goodbye to you. Or part of him is hoping you have a particular response.

      It's common for people who get engaged to contact their ex, because getting married has an implication of it being final. Even tho the divorce rate is really high. Most people don't go into marriage expecting to get divorced.

  • You're just wondering what you did wrong. You're wondering why he didn't showcase any deep care or love for you. You feelings for him haven't really eradicated, otherwise you wouldn't care at all.

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    • Is there any trick to stop caring? Because I don't need these feelings right now, my life is great.

    • Just focus on your partner you have currently and give it time.

    • Thank you, I'm going to do that.

  • fact of life. It happens. probably because you are still in contact.
    focus on the new boyfriend.

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  • You're petty. That's what it sounds like.

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  • Because you're not over him, despite what you say.

    He's an ex. Cut him completely out of your life and have nothing to do with him ever.

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  • You think that if the timing had been different, it could have been you.

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  • because of romantic condition ing

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  • Seriously? You just stated your answer in your question lol.

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  • What caused y'all to break up being that he cheated relentlessly and you stayed for 2 years?

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    • 6d

      Well, he was my first love and me being stupid I would have done anything to be with him. But the last straw was when he was when he fell in love with another girl (without me knowing, apparantly it didn't work out) and then banging his ex and he was pretty okay that I knew that. So he had absolutely no feelings for me, I was sex to him, and then shortly after our break up he relocated to nother city.

    • 6d

      How did you find out he fell in love with another girl and that he was banging his ex? I hoped y'all used protection given his lifestyle.

    • 2d

      He was being more distant than usual and I got it out of him that he liked someone else. In a completely mental state of mind, I contacted her and she told me everything. I confronted him and he confessed to it. She broke it off and we tried again (stupid me). Then one day he left his phone on the bed when he went for a shower, a message from his ex popped up asking if they were still on for their date that night. We didn't use protection but I got tested anyway.

What Girls Said 15

  • I get where you're coming from. A month or so after breaking up, my ex started posting these cheesy posts about my replacement. It hurt a bit. I think its about feeling like you're not good enough.

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  • I don't think you have any lingering feelings for your ex, I think you're just trying to figure what you did wrong and even thinking "what does she have that I don't?" But you shouldn't dwell on it , like you said : it's been a year. So maybe he's changed his mind about marriage? Who knows! And who cares! lol good luck :)

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  • maybe because he is showing officially he's love for someone, whereas you might be scared that people think you're not as serious with your relationship without an engagement?

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  • Well it may be that he made you so unhappy and that you're not understanding how she is happy enough to be wed to him so that may be why

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  • Because deep down there will always be a part of you wishing that it was you instead of the new girl.

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  • He obviously had your heart despite what he did. Main reason I am not a great fan of men (or men that have reached the age to be called that, but are practically still little boys).
    Block him on facebook and every social media site. Never contact him again and focus on your new life. This feeling will go away.

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  • Take solace in knowing that 41% of marriages end in divorce in the United States. Divorce is even more common in younger marriages.

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  • Because 1- you're not over him. Or 2-deep down, you hate him and you don't want him to be happy. Which is completely normal so whatever forever

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  • Because he didn't propose to you. It's a simple case of jealously, of thinking why did he propose to her and not me.

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  • Girl let him be You are in a new relationship

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  • its just jealousy.

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  • Im on the same page the guy I like apparently was talking to me & another girl. He lead me on for so long whike he was darinf someone else. It broke my heart Ia still wonder if I was not food enough. What did I do to deserve that. Everytime I see pictures of them together I feel like my heart hurts

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  • you are still not over it

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  • It's good you found someone much better. He treat you badly, I think he not worth you thinking about. Don't give him the energy. Just be thankful your not with him.

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  • If you were completely over him it wouldn't bother you at all.

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