Will I ever be content with the idea my first true love is gone forever and nothing will ever be like that again?

I dated my first love in high school. she is the girl I looked more then anyone else in this world. she cheated on me with my bestfriend for the last 6 months I was with her. I moved on even got married and was very happy but I still thought of my number one. my wife has since passed away that ruined me. I would have never gave up on my wife. she might not have been the girl I loves the most but I loved her in a different way and that was every bit enough. when she passes away the loss really hurt. I want more then anything to talk to the girl I loved the most not to light the candle again but to simply know she isn't gone like my wife. I loved number one so much and it would mean the world for me to hear from her but I know I never will. so will this desire ever subside. I know I will love again in time but I know I didn't love my wife like number one. Will I ever find another number one? Or maybe will the vivid memories that were the happiest and saddest of my life ever be dimmed down unroll I can bare the knowledge she is gone forever and be ok with it?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You are idealising your number one. You need to see her again and realise who she really is... She almost for sure not as pretty and special as you have constructed her in your mind over the years.

    • You could either find an excuse or tell her upfront that you want to see her for closure. It's the least she could do for you after what she did to you.

    • I appreciate that I think it makes a lot of sense. Thank you

    • Good luck.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You should seek some therapy for this. It's not at all healthy to continue to obsess over a woman from your adolescence and it seems to be compounded by your grief (and to some extent guilt) over your wife's passing.

    Some people are not meant to be in our lives forever. They may come in for a particular purpose or be taken too soon, but trying to hold onto the ones not worthy of being in our life does us a great disservice


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