I dated my first love in high school. she is the girl I looked more then anyone else in this world. she cheated on me with my bestfriend for the last 6 months I was with her. I moved on even got married and was very happy but I still thought of my number one. my wife has since passed away that ruined me. I would have never gave up on my wife. she might not have been the girl I loves the most but I loved her in a different way and that was every bit enough. when she passes away the loss really hurt. I want more then anything to talk to the girl I loved the most not to light the candle again but to simply know she isn't gone like my wife. I loved number one so much and it would mean the world for me to hear from her but I know I never will. so will this desire ever subside. I know I will love again in time but I know I didn't love my wife like number one. Will I ever find another number one? Or maybe will the vivid memories that were the happiest and saddest of my life ever be dimmed down unroll I can bare the knowledge she is gone forever and be ok with it?