Please help, first breakup and need advice!

So its pretty crazy but my boyfriend of 1 year and three months randomly broke up with me when I went over to his house one day, the night before we got in a really heated argument and started bickering, we went in his car and we both were hysterically crying and he then told me that night that he will see how things go and that wed still stay together, even still hugged me and stuff. but then the NEXT day, it got really emotional & I asked him if he wanted to break up, and he cried to me, "yeah". It killed me cause I just couldn't believe it. I know he still loves me A LOT and I love him. He said the reason was because there was too much bickering between us lately and it was messing him up, plus his parents probably thought it would be better too for him. He has to go to work everyday and get ready for his senior year& stuff which I understand.

But he always used to be the one to call me, and care a lot, even when he said and wanted us to stay close and friends, for me to call him whenever I needed to talk about things in my life. After that he never called me back or texted me, this really shocked me. So then after that I decided to not bother to contact him eaither. Even deleted him off facebook, which I know he wouldn't ever do and once he would find out I know he'd be shocked I did so. Was this a good idea? I'm going to a party this friday, should I take pictures with other guy friends and not care anymore, do things he wouldn't like me to do when we were together, just try and let go ? Even if it still hurts me and I know he's still hurt. I'm going through so many emotions right now which I heard is normal, hatred, sadness towards him. I'm really angry now towards him so I deleted him off my facebook and I have the urge to make him want me back, idk.

I know its a lot, but its my first breakup and I don't know what to do.

for this party, he isn't invited. Its a sweet 16, should I look more "sexier", I'm already a good looking girl (not conceited) lol, but yeah should I make a better effort for looking extra hot :)?

no rude or annoying or pointless answers, idc how I sound right now over yahoo. I need some help. Thank ya<3xo

Updates:
sorry, this ? was also on yahoo answers, that's why. I know its long but if you answer mine ill answer your ?. xo

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There are a lot of different answers for this type of question, but I have a similar story but the break up was for different reasons, but I'm trying to help you so I won't go into that. Anyway, its going to be hard, and emotional, but deleting him and ignoring him will not help. I was a wreck, and I remember the only thing that helped me, was knowing he was getting through it. Although, I wasn't angry at my first break up-e, knowing he was getting through helped me realize that he was getting to be OK, and that I was too. Don't give into random whims of anger such as deleting him, you will regret it later.

    And also, you wanting to dress up is only you passivly telling him that he gave you this freedom, take it as he will, sort of thing. You don't have to do anything to prove to him what he did. If it will help you get over him, sure, why not? But don't only be doing it with him in mind, cause that's just you trying to spite him. If you are going to dance with other guys, do it cause you know you want to for your own reasons.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

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    Please don't duplicate questions. I, as well as several other people posted responses in your original thread. Thank you!

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  • What were you always bickering about? Assuming one party wasn't the only one starting fights, it sounds like both of you need to make a more proactive effort to avoid conflict. Knowing what the source of the fights are would help.

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  • Do what you feel is right, if you want to get back give it some time and try or if you want to move on then break all contact, get ride fo anything that reminds you of him and move on.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Ik where you are coming from...bc I was going through the same situation. I had been with this guy for 3 years already...and honestly we loved ea other but we fought all the time and it was like break up night before and get bak together next morning. We decided to give it up because it wasn't a healthy relationship and e more. Fighting isn't bad but of its constant. let it go. it wuld b better for you too. don't provoke him. itll jus make things worse. distance yourself emotionally and once uve done that seeing him won't be as hard. first loves are the toughest but ull pull thru. good luck

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  • im sorry that it ended badly but maybe you guys grew apart and you guys need time to grow and fix things in your lives so there isn't so much bickeringg .. maybe you both will come out better people .. you may not get back together but is that really a bad thing .. you will always love him but learn to love him as a friend and tell him you wish him the best of luck & keep your chin up high because you did the right thingg .. it may hurt seeing him with someone else at first but remember he is happy noww and he probably wants you to be happy too .. hope it helps

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  • deleting him was a good thing and maybe you just need a little time for yourself, have a good time and hang out with friends. Be yourself, don't fake it :) This is not a fun thing to go through and of course you might feel bad sometimes but that's alright, cry when you feel like it, smile when your happy, enjoy life ! Good luck !

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  • I think deleting him of facebook was a good thing. But I would Still be yourself at that party I mean just because you went through a breakup doesn't mean you should change yourself or anything.

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  • First breakups hurt so much more than any future breakups because it's your first love and you always think that it's going to last forever but unfortunately that's not how life works.

    Deleting him from fb is a good idea, delete his number from your cell and delete him from your life. This might seem harsh and too much, but remember, you guys weren't getting along. You guys weren't happy and fighting too much. That's not a healthy relationship. My advice is don't care. Don't take pictures, don't flirt because you feel like you have something to prove. You don't. Instead go to the party with the knowledge that it's a fresh start for you. Flirt, have fun, dance with guys for YOU, not for him.

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