I need serious advice?

I've been married a few years, but with. y husband for 14 years, he has done a LOT of things to hurt me and. break out trust, eve. though it stopped in 2013/2014, and he has changed in done areas... I don't know if I'll ever get over ehat he has done... (we have children also) I need advice !


Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, but advice about what? Could you please update with a specific issue or two?


What Girls Said 2

  • So either you get and your husband go see someone about working on your marriage... if you think there's any possible way that you can forgive him. But if it bothers you that much and you can't look past the things that he has done, then it's best you move on. Get a divorce and leave. Don't stay with him because of the kids. You'll never be happy not grow together if that's always in the back of your mind. The other part of me wants to just straight up tell you to leave his ass. But I get it... you have kids, this isn't going to be as easy as it would be for me in your situation. You need to do what's going to make you happiest and what's in the best interest for you and your kids. If that means leave, so be it. It's unhealthy to leave with that hanging over your marriage.

    • I've told him for years that we need to see a therapist or someone like that to talk to, and he NEVER follows through with it. there is so much to the story, but I really don't know what to do

    • Well you have your answer. He is basically saying that you, your marriage and your children aren't worth a hour therapy session a week for 6 weeks. If he can't follow through with a simple request like that when you're the one trying to work on shit and he's the one that fucked up... then you've done all that you can do and he doesn't value you. You need to set some deadlines for yourself and start looking to leave. Start looking into new schools for the kids, look a new house or apt, get away from this guy. You're hurting yourself by staying. It's much easier said than done, but you have to start somewhere.

  • 14 years is a long time.
    I knew that my husband and needed help long before we actually started going to marriage counselling but it wasn't until we hit rock bottom that he agreed to go.
    It was his idea in the end.
    Get yourself a copy of Dr John Gottmans
    Seven principals for making marriage work, there is so much information and great advice in it.
    A book would be a great first step.


Recommended myTakes