Considering staying friends with my ex, but there are certain things I don't want to know

I got dumped about 6 weeks ago. I was really heartbroken but I'm finally starting to get over it. My ex try to friend zone me of course and I said NO thinking it would lower my self esteem. She jumped right in a relationship with another guy.

For a long time I was refused to be "chumped" into the friend zone. We started off dating,so getting downgraded to friends felt insulting. However even when I was dating her I HAD DOUBTS about getting into a relationship with her. However she ultimately dumped me.

Part of me is thinking that a friendship might be okay at this point cause she really isn't the woman for me. However if I do start talking to her I really don't want to hear anything about the guy she is with. Not a peep, especially since she once tried to get advice from me about guys once (after we broke up the first time...we broke up twice). I feel like if I start talking to her again she'll bring him up.

Should I break it off for good? That was my original plan. If I do start talking to her again should I tell her I'm alright being friends just as long she doesn't talk about certain things? Part of really me does miss just talking to her (with no agenda).

UPDATE: 3 weeks no contact now. No word from the selfish bitch on my bday. Yeah I she didn't have to call/text...but it would have been nice.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's all or nothing. either deal with being an actual friend and giving the advice you don't want to give or don't be friends. You are not over her if it bugs you that she is talking about or dating others. That may not be something you believe or want to hear but that's how it is. you might consider telling her that you need some space from her for a little while longer until you can handle her talking about other guys. but it is all or nothing because girls like having guy friends that give them honest advice about being with other guys.

    • Yeah that was what I was thinking too. Well it's been nothing for 2 weeks now. It's my bday today and I will admit I was hoping she'll call. But not the end of the world if she doesn't.

    • Btw - guys HATE being used from girls they like (when the girl likes it) so I'm getting the f*** out of there.

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What Girls Said 2

  • yess you should definitely talk to her but tell her right away that you don't want to hear anything about those certain things! in my opinion I wouldn't want to completely throw away a whole relationship just because you broke up, a friendship is a nice way to still talk but not be together.

    • I was totally against a friendship in the beginning cause I felt I was being used. However I do miss talking to her.

    • Why would you want to keep missing her when you could still be talking to her?

  • it really depends how close you want to be with her. If you wanted to be close friends, I would cut it off because to be close you have to be comfortable about talking about any subject. But if you rather keep talking to her, I think she would understand after what you both have gone through together.


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