Am I insane or is this normal?

I've been with my ex fiance for 4 years and have been in love with him since i was 18. When i met him i was a virgin but he wasn't. For the years he was with me he fucked up and cheated or fucked someone else as soon as we "broke up" but never was official. I always took him back and still loved him unconditionally because our bond was incredible. I never had a best friend like him. I never have been with someonr I've been so comfortable with and had a great time with. But when things got rocky he would bounce and treat me as if i didn't matter at all. Anyways we recently broke up officially because he wanted a three way with a coworker of mine and i said no... he added her on fb behind my back and i was furious. I went home on my lunch break to question him and he held me and told me how much he loves me and that he would marry me on Thursday (his day off which would have been today). But i said no and told him this doesn't show me he is capable to be my husband. Not even hours later did he message my coworker and try to hook up with her... i saw all the messages and supposedly she blocked him. Yet i still find myself making excuses for him. His brother is in the hospital and recently got pulled out a boxing match because the coaches felt he wasn't in the right state of mind. I feel like him spiraling down made him go crazy and fuck up our relationship.
I'm hurt and want nothing to do with him but i find myself wanting to spiral back and hold on to him and say its ok. I want to be his friend again and be in love with him again but i know he isn't worth my love anymore. Maybe he never was... i guess i feel he would change and love me and be the man i hope he would be.
Anyways what should i do? Reach out to him or stay away? But the obvious answer is stay away.
I feel so stupid for even asking but i need to ask... i need someone to give me their advice.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like he's not the monogamous type. So unless you're okay with being in an open relationship with him, he's not the man for you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Stay away. You know it. I realize it is difficult, the best things I can say are keep yourself busy. When you want to reach out, try to distract yourself. If there are certain things that trigger memories or make you miss him, try to avoid those triggers or re-associate those things so that when you encounter those things you won't think of him.

    Also, this isn't to say you didn't love him, but I do want you to think about it, did you love him or maybe you loved being with him or maybe you loved being in love or perhaps you loved the man he would one day be.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • You deserve better than him , he obviously doesn't care about you as much as you care about him. Every time you go back to him your setting up yourself to get hurt even more. so get out , meet other people, and get away from him

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  • jesus you have so much life to live you are two young to get tied down.

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  • i think he is a jerk and you are a stupid girl

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    • I think you are right. But I'm not supid, just broken.

    • the mistake when repeated is a decistion and you decided to be a broken

What Girls Said 4

  • Stay away frim this guy. He's poison.

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  • you feel this way, so attached to him so badly bc for the most part he's proabbly been this huge part of ur life and all youve ever known for someone that close to you and that makes you comfortable and cuz moments can seem so perfect with him when its good. i understand. i know u dont want to leave him. itll be maybe a bit lonley at first. you'll miss him insanely girl but u gotta do it u gotta leave him. wanna know why? bc u deserve a hell of a lot better. u need to work on you. make you happy. thats not right what he does no way in hell is it. you can find a better guy with just as close of a relationship, actually better bc he'll respect you and won't pull cheating bs like that or try to bribe ur. love. leave him. and you'll be suprised what you'll allow to come down your path if u do. you'll be happier. 100% its scary at first but 100x worth it. u won't regret doing it. you'll regret wasting ur time staying with him.

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  • I think you could still be friends but just that. It wouldn't be wise to get back together. That way you can still comfort him but you won't be making the mistake of getting back together

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  • Why is this so long, chheesiiitttzzz 😟

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    • Lol sorry, I'm terrible at summarising.

    • Show All
    • @Opinion Owner Lol and what are you? Some robotic emotionless Aquarius?

    • Oh honey. I'm none of your business.

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