So, my friend recently told me that he likes me a lot. And I told him that I just wanted to stay friends and that I didn't like him that way. And now he will not leave me alone about it. He's always telling me about how he wants to kiss me and how he really likes me. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to hangout with him as much anymore. I really want to tell him to just back off and leave me alone but I don't want to ruin our friendship or hurt him. What do I do?
Most Helpful Guy
It sucks to say but you have to hurt him :(. You have to be very direct and unambigious. You can be considerate, but be direct (I have been in his position, being nice just allowed me to fall more deeply in love with my best friend but her feelings didn't change but mine only got deeper and its ruined our friendship. Particularly since if I could have loved her less she might have developed feelings for me, though this could just be part of the dilusion).
Just say, when he tells you he wants to kiss you, "I don't want to kiss you, I am not attracted to you and am not looking for a relationship and I will never be looking for a relationship with you. Are we clear?" (if that's true and it should be if your not wanting to be anything but friends) if he tries again after that esculate to "I have explained how I feel, do you want me to get graphic? or can we just enjoy being friends?" if he's doesn't back off. Tell him how you see him, don't hold back on all the stuff that makes him impossible for you to like. At this stage the liker will hope for something to cling to in hope that things might change, so don't say anything that's subjective of could be changed. Stick to stuff that's impossible for him to change.
Its tough. I hate the way thing get. For me, if I am friends with someone I fancy them, even to some extent the guys (not in a gay way, just I feel they are good looking people). Its a good way to be, that way, any friend you get on really well with you never have to say "it can't happen".
My best friend could be though of as not being as shallow as me. Then, she does have lots of this type of problem which I have avoided completly. I'd be interested in seeing how many people think that attitude is shallow and how many think its sensible.0