How do I get him off my back?

So, my friend recently told me that he likes me a lot. And I told him that I just wanted to stay friends and that I didn't like him that way. And now he will not leave me alone about it. He's always telling me about how he wants to kiss me and how he really likes me. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to hangout with him as much anymore. I really want to tell him to just back off and leave me alone but I don't want to ruin our friendship or hurt him. What do I do?

Thanks guys for everything(:


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sucks to say but you have to hurt him :(. You have to be very direct and unambigious. You can be considerate, but be direct (I have been in his position, being nice just allowed me to fall more deeply in love with my best friend but her feelings didn't change but mine only got deeper and its ruined our friendship. Particularly since if I could have loved her less she might have developed feelings for me, though this could just be part of the dilusion).

    Just say, when he tells you he wants to kiss you, "I don't want to kiss you, I am not attracted to you and am not looking for a relationship and I will never be looking for a relationship with you. Are we clear?" (if that's true and it should be if your not wanting to be anything but friends) if he tries again after that esculate to "I have explained how I feel, do you want me to get graphic? or can we just enjoy being friends?" if he's doesn't back off. Tell him how you see him, don't hold back on all the stuff that makes him impossible for you to like. At this stage the liker will hope for something to cling to in hope that things might change, so don't say anything that's subjective of could be changed. Stick to stuff that's impossible for him to change.

    Its tough. I hate the way thing get. For me, if I am friends with someone I fancy them, even to some extent the guys (not in a gay way, just I feel they are good looking people). Its a good way to be, that way, any friend you get on really well with you never have to say "it can't happen".

    My best friend could be though of as not being as shallow as me. Then, she does have lots of this type of problem which I have avoided completly. I'd be interested in seeing how many people think that attitude is shallow and how many think its sensible.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • omg you're georgegouss ! if I was him, I'd do the same. Just throw a fit at him to see what he does. Like cut the bullsh*t and start screaming like an unattractive girl. If he still pursues you gotta get a bodyguard.


What Girls Said 1

  • Say, "i know you like me very much" And I already have told you I just like you as a I thought we were on the same page but you constantly telling me how much you like me and how much you want to kiss starting to become a very big turn off to the point where I sometimes don't want to be around you. I am not trying to hurt your feelings I am just being open about how I feel and I value our friendship but like I said the more you act that way the more I want to steer clear from you just please understand.

    Well that is the nice way to say it or

    i don't like you like that and you seem to not have gotten through your head if you keep on with the clingy attitude you won't be seeing much of me at all

    lol that's the less nicer way

    You have to be upfront with him because it seems like he is living in a dream you need to snap him back to reality with the truth.

    • I had to disagree with this because I got the soft soap approach and it lead to a right mess. Saying the way he's being "is a turn off" suggest he can change the way he's being to be "a turn on" which presumably isn't possible (otherwise why does she want him off her back).

      I agree with the final line though.

    • Well that's your opinion.....i was just giving her a idea to what to say....and some girls don't like to take the mean approach but some girls do that's why as you can see I gave her two options...its up to her not me. I can't help that some guys are clingy and can't get things thro there head...; ) And that you made a mess of your self because you couldn't get it thro yours with the girl that gave the what did you call it? O " the soft soap approach"

    • Its an opinion, its based on experience (opinion:"a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty").

      I'm certain I have better experience of girls being direct with me than of girls "trying" to be kind.

      Sometimes being truly kind requires being truthful which can be unkind and/or hurtful.

      Maybe one day I will find a post on here where a guy says "i'm so glad she told me how much she liked me, now I can get over her" *shrug*

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