Please tell me what I need to do and how, she's on my mind?

6months ago my girlfriend broke up with and cut me off refusing to talk. I chased her, she even got freaked out at a point for which I apologized to her best friend for.
It left heartbroken and so confused because being cut off hurts after giving so much.
3 months later I wrote an apology, framing myself to be the one at fault for which she replied and said sorry. Her bestfriends told me she regretted the way she did things a lot but I'm still not at complete peace because I want her to regret hurting me. I keep her blocked because she's not in my life and she'll be getting a cool College soon
She left me for a better life. I did a lot for her. I know she wasn't happy doing it, but I still think a lot about how much she hurt me. I don't have feelings just so you know.
I am pretty lonely in general, just saying. But what hurts me the most is someone I loved ended up hating me


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