Wife divorce me cause I came out as transgender. What do you think?

Question

Wife divorce me cause I came out as transgender. What do you think?

Water2020

Xper 1

I still love her and wish she would stay. She said she's not a lesbian and can't be with me and filed for divorce. I always have worn women's clothes around her even when we were dating but recently I started hair removal and making friends in the trans community. And she said she can't take it anymore.
Anyway I've had a lot of guilt over it all and was just wondering if you would share your thoughts.

1. What do you think of MTF transgender people in general.

2. Can a man or women love a trans-women? Cause it seems like this is so rare.

3. Would you divorce me if you were my wife and this was the only issue for divorce?

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13

Most Helpful Guy

Most Helpful Girl

Wa_Ant
Xper 3

+1 y

That's good she divorced you. You don't need that type of negativity in your life. (Not disrespecting your wife) but the trash took its self out.

Anyway congratulations for finding your true self!!!

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Is this still revelant?
- Water2020
  
  +1 y
  Thanks for the uplifting thoughts :-)
- Wa_Ant
  
  +1 y
  Lmao no need:)

What Girls & Guys Said

912

Ryansh
Xper 4

+1 y

See, the more you valued your desire or decision to be a trans kindly give your wife the same level of decisive power for her desire.
You did what you wanted to and now don't expect (respect) your wife's decision. Why?
Now come to your questions ;
1. Totally personal matter. We are living in 21st century where I feel one should have the liberty to do what he/she wants to irrespective of their gender identity, caste, creed, region, religion etc. (keep it in mind not to harm anyone)
2. Yes, there are so many examples. Search in Google or watch at YouTube you will find a lot people. So you are not the only piece coming from pluto or farthest 😂.
3. Can't say... Depends on our relationship n how better we understand each other.
At last I just suggest you to kindly respect her decision and do what you can for the betterment of her.

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PoliceLivesMatter
Guru

+1 y

1. I think of them as human beings. The same as any other person. Makes no difference to me in the slightest
2. Of course, millions do. Some don't and those are the instances that stand out.
3. No, if I loved someone, I don't believe I could divorce someone. Though, I haven't been in this specific position so I can't answer 100% accurately.
I'm sorry your wife divorced you, but you'll move on eventually.

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malibris
Xper 1

+1 y

I'm disappointed in her. Should appearance really be an issue if you love someone for who they are? Don't be afraid to change if it makes you feel better, there's nothing weird and unacceptable about it. Somebody will love you inside and out, no matter how rare it is - it's true and you deserve it.

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kaylaS91 | 371 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Master

+1 y

1. umm... nothing? I mean, you can identify as whatever gender you want I guess. It's just scary to think that if people can claim they were born in the wrong body in terms of sex, what next? Being born in the wrong body in terms of species/race?
2. yes. It's called being pansexual.
3. yes, I would. I'm straight meaning sexually attracted to men as a whole. I would not be attracted to a biological male who shares clothing/make-up with me, or behaves like a girl.

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TacosRAwesome | 432 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Guru

+1 y

1) I have no problem with any kind of trans people in general. At most I'll think that female looks very manly, but I'll treat them well if they treat me well.
2) I think they can. Some people fall in love due to a connection
3) personally I would because I signed up to have a husbsnd, not a wife.

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Atreyu | 64 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Xper 7

+1 y

1. I don't dislike transgender people, but I disagree with cultural acceptance of it.
you certainly have my sympathy

2. of course they can. but it's not easy

3. yes if my SO starting something like that I'd be gone and angry about it too

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KatherineJ
Guru

+1 y

1) in general, I don't have a problem with transgender people.
2) I'm sure there is someone out there for everyone.
3) Yes I would. I married a man, Im not attracted to women, so I would leave immediately.

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madiane
Xper 1

+1 y

It's understandable, even if she loves you she married a man, you can't force her to accept you

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ColoradoChick84
Xper 7

+1 y

1. I treat them with respect like how I treat other people. I have no problems with them.
2. Yes people can love someone who is transgender
3. No, I would not

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ken718
Xper 7

+1 y

Can you blame her you choose untill now to tell her... that's something someone should know prior to the first date... lol

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Kaylyne | 59 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Yoda

+1 y

"We" simply wouldn't have been together in the first place.

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Anonymous

+1 y

She still wants to be with a man so now you're changing that so yeah I could understand her wanting to leave

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- Water2020
  
  +1 y
  Makes perfect sense
SeVBooM
Xper 3

+1 y

I would divorce you if u hadn't told me and we were married and I didn't know u we're trans, it'd be like being married to a stranger.

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- Water2020
  
  +1 y
  That's basically what she said verbatim
- SeVBooM
  
  +1 y
  well I mean reverse the situation and put urself in her shoes with her morals and point of view. wouldn't that be world changing and shocking? personally I'm Catholic however I honestly don't care what anyone does with their lives it's none of my business what makes anyone happy as long as it doesn't effect my life. anyways I could never be with a woman that used to be a man it wouldn't feel right to me, not that trans are any less of people they're not. but morally speaking to me I think that's wrong, a lot of people would see that as an attack on their life style but it really isn't it's just my personal opinion. Anyways, you have to consider your partners feelings and beliefs, there can't be any huge secrets in a marriage, especially a big one like that and not expect some kind of large confrontation in the future when ur spouse enevibitally finds out
- RedVulcan
  
  +1 y
  There you go then. She's divorcing you for the dishonesty and not so much the trans part. I mean, it factors in, but I still think it's more dishonesty.
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- Water2020
  
  +1 y
  For sure. The hard part for someone like me is that I'm so liberal in my thinking that I see genitals as nothing more then body parts and our minds as being the attractive forces. But then again I'm single... hah ha!!!
- SeVBooM
  
  +1 y
  don't be so leftist then be more objective. I personally don't think I am liberal by any means and aline more with conservative values myself obviously but I suppose libertarian is a better option for me. sometimes they stray sorta close to anarchists though which is totally weird
- SeVBooM
  
  +1 y
  it's not your liberalness that got you here either it's that you didn't take on your partners perspective. I think about everything that comes out of my mouth before I say it (at least usually) and try to take whom ever I'm talking to's perspective, I think about how my actions and words will affect them when I say it. you have to do this constantly in a relationship because it's never about you it's always about them, and ideally they do this I'm return so then it does become about both of u
- Water2020
  
  +1 y
  Your absolutely right. I couldn't hold a date for many years saying I was trans and so I simply changed the truth and just said I was a man that wore women's clothes and that got me to have a family etc. and I'm very happy about that. But when you're trans life can hit you with a ton of bricks and your like in need of help. So I got help and then my wife learned the truth. And that's the story. Kinda sucks for her and me too.
- SeVBooM
  
  +1 y
  yeah makes sense sorry about it
- Water2020
  
  +1 y
  Thanks. You know just feeling a little sorry for myself. But it's nice to talk about it. And I appreciate your interest. Just hoping that my wife will be happy and me too obviously. I've been religious too and many times can't understand why a God would do this. But then I'm like nope not gonna go there. :-).
  Just gonna make the best of the situation.
- SeVBooM
  
  +1 y
  ah yes a lot of Christians will try and explain why or that God has a plan etc. honestly I think he created science so it runs itself. they'd also be quick to judge who's going to hell, anyone who does that is a hipocrit I don't believe it's anyones job to judge other than God himself
  
  besides any of that, God made science and I think the science is made to run itself
- Water2020
  
  +1 y
  Couldn't agree more!
- SeVBooM
  
  +1 y
  I still think you would have to respect his rules if he made them, but that's why I wouldn't shit on anyone else's lifestyle. I picked mine because I decided it's the best one but thats my opinion
Anonymous

+1 y

1. Don't like trans
2. Yes. Many people would date a trans person.
3. Yes I would divorce

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- Water2020
  
  +1 y
  What don't you like about trans people. I'm just curious so I can try and understand...
realistic1
Xper 4

+1 y

Can I know for how long you have kept to gath

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- Water2020
  
  +1 y
  I knew I was trans at age 4
- Water2020
  
  +1 y
  We been together for 5 years but we're friends for a few years before that
- realistic1
  
  +1 y
  Oh, Total time is more than 5 years.
  I think she likes you at the beginning but after that she tried or cheated you into another relationships, and that let her change her mood to real sexual relationship with men.
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- Water2020
  
  +1 y
  Could be. I don't know if she's cheated but I know she's secretly into porn and searches everything opposite of me. Super hairy manly men etc. so you maybe right spot on.
Hispanic-Cool-Guy | 214 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Master

+1 y

Smh.. Did you cheat on her?

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- Water2020
  
  +1 y
  Nope
- Hispanic-Cool-Guy
  
  +1 y
  She should separate from you til you get your act together.
Hawn84
Xper 5

+1 y

That's not for me so I would divorce you too.

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assley
Yoda

+1 y

Good for her. I'd divorce you too.

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Sal7LBJLM10
Xper 5

+1 y

I would've done that same in a heartbeat

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reptocarl | 2.9K opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Master

+1 y

You're lucky I'dve killed you

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- Water2020
  
  +1 y
  Ouch! I'm glad we weren't married then...
- reptocarl
  
  +1 y
  I'd be in prison right now
Anonymous

+1 y

she is right

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Zaori Xper 2 · Accepted Answer

With some, if you come out as trans after, and this is only an example here, 15-20 years of marriage, they may feel like those years of their life have been a lie. Yes, some will love and support you unconditionally, and many more would not. Then there are some who would divorce you, but had they known, going into the relationship, that you were trans, they'd probably have been more accepting and willing to move forward with the relationship. Some people in that situation may feel betrayed by their coming-out spouse, especially if children are involved. In closing, there's nothing wrong with you, coming out, or even how you went about doing it. I hope things improve for you in the near future!

Wife divorce me cause I came out as transgender. What do you think?

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