My emotions are all over the place? help me please?

My first boyfriend and I have been broken up almost a year now. I know but we have spoken a little over this period. I loved him dearly and care for him still. I wish I can just speak to him but I can't because he won't let me. I have some unanswered questions. I feel like he dumped me because for other reasons. I never got the closure I wanted from him and probably never get it.

I was loyal, honest, and caring. I had my flaws but overall, I meant very well he even said it.

I just feel lost. I feel my mine is going in circles with who fault is it. I feel like I just LOST because my emotions were so wrapped around me loving him. And he just dumped out of the blue. How do I get past these mixed emotions?

I feel like I am going crazy now.

I really I sad.

Thanks, and be nice

My emotions are all over the place? help me please?
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