The last step in getting over someone?

Inexperienced as I am in the ways of love, I've been struggling recently with getting over someone. Well, not struggling, but struggling to finish it off, if you know what I mean. I really liked this girl and I took her out and everything, but eventually she took the "nice way" out, which you know, kills, because you never know if she's telling the truth or not about excuses, so you think there's hope, but then later on you realize that she's probably lying. Even worse is that she "innocently" got back in touch and when I saw her again at a social event, she basically treated me even less than she would treat a friend or acquaintance.

It was at that time that I let go of the senseless hope I had for us and realized that her actions spoke louder than words.

I'm doing pretty well. I've been recovering well in the 3 weeks since that social event and realized I want to make something good of the situation I have and that she's in my past. But, the problem, is that I still think about her every day and, even worse, there's probably a stretch of half-hour to hour every day where I sit and brood on the whole thing, whether I'm driving, taking a shower, in class, or what. I would very much like to "not care" but every time I'm aware I'm not caring, I pull myself back and sit and brood so that I DO care. Is this a natural part of the process or should I try to consciously push these thoughts away no matter how hard it is?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • we got the same problem except one MAJOR difference. I dated and still like this guy but he treats me differently (public vs alone) it might sound weird but its the only way I can think of explaining it...inside my head there's this little voice saying "I don't care about him..he's not important to me" but an even bigger voice is saying "omg he's so cute! He's got abs and beautiful eyes! text him, tell him you like him" need less to say...I've lost my mind. But I know how hard it is to push through those thoughts of what use to be...even though it kills you inside..it makes you stronger on the outside...ok sounds crazy but its true

    I've gone though...1..2..3..about 8 guys since the break up..but it took just that for me to finally realize *thought bubble* I'm just trying to fill that void I have...and now I've gone almost 7 month without dating and I'm very proud to say that

    just by accomplishing that..I feel like..if he doesn't want me then..his loss..with him I did very little for myself but ALONE I completed more than I thought I could...so just set small goals and every time one is reached..guarantee you'll feel amazing..and when you think about her turn the radio on, sing and dance like nobodys watching..its alota fun and good excersize too lol:) hope this kinda helps

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What Girls Said 1

  • hmm cool. funny I guess it's been easy for me to let go of guys and not care, probably because most have been just tools. so basically here's a step by step guy how to let go.

    1. you hang out with friends, talk about anything BUT your ex

    2. go do some activity you like doing. idk, ice skating etc

    3. have some 'me' time. do what you want to do by yourself

    4. just relax, take up some sport or just distract the mind

    5. write a letter to your 'ex' and then burn it and don't send it.

    6. focus on all the negatives about them and why you shouldn't be with them

    7. physically and emotionally detach from them and even get rid of stuff that reminds you of your ex

    voila, that's it and if you do that, it's gonna be easier with time :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • It is very natural but you just can't let this one girl ruin your whole out look on the dating world. Cause guaranteed their are many other woman that are waiting for you to show that you are interested in them.

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