What do you do when you break up with someone but then they won't leave you alone?

Updates:
Time for a plot twist! Now let's say you are going out of your way to avoid them and doing a flawless job. They aren't doing anything that would warrant a restraining order in the eyes of the law like texting, calling, emailing, coming over etc. The last time you saw them they burst into hysterical tears because you didn't want to talk to them and followed you on foot down the street crying. Now they go around asking everyone you know nosy questions about your life.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It would depend on how they are contacting me and whether there is any history of violence or "psycho" behavior. (If they are psycho, how did I let it get this far before we broke up?) If I am concerned about violence, I make a police report and seek a domestic violence/stalking injunction. If they are not violent, I would have one talk with them to explain - in a nice way - that we are finished and it is best that we go our separate ways with no ill will between us. If that doesn't work, I might talk to their best friend (of the same gender as my ex) or a responsible family member to alert them to the problem and ask for their assistance. If the ex is in a profession like teaching or the military, police reports can have a negative impact on their career so I would use that as a last resort unless I was concerned about violence. And all of this assumes that I already have blocked them on my cell phone, social media, etc. and that has not cured the problem.

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    • Response to update: This kind of obsessive, demonstrative behavior is certainly a cause for concern and needs to be addressed by a mental health professional, but you cannot have any role in securing treatment for him. If I had a girl behaving that way, I would contact her parents, explain my concerns, and make sure that they understood that I wanted to help the girl but getting involved with her for this reason would only encourage this kind of behavior in the future.

    • That's a great answer! Thank you!

Most Helpful Girl

  • That's creepy and has potential to become a dangerous situation. If you're not carrying pepper spray already you need to. What does the person want to talk about? Is there a purpose in talking to them? Do they need closure?

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What Guys Said 15

  • Get a VPO or restraining order. Why are you allowing it?

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  • Well, you know block their number, completely continue to ignore them.. And if they did the things you mentioned in the update, well as long as they ain't bothering me, Ion care.. LOL..

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  • Get a restraining order. Especially if the fact that he won't leave you alone is making you feel threatened. It's like blocking someone on Facebook, except in real life.

    Just reading the other comments... Seems there's some agreeance on what to do here.

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    • What if all this applies and you get blocked and the very person doing the blocking decides one day to unblock you and just contacts you and is nice about everything as if nothing happened

    • Yep... that would render it pretty much useless. And also confusing. Maybe said person is even a little bit bipolar. Or at the very least indecisive.
      Either way it's a clear sign you should stay away from them. Except now it's more for your safety and not theirs.

    • Hmm maybe you're right?

  • I try ignoring people when there's a break up but if things get too bad than i get law enforcement involved which i hate to do.

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  • I block them, or reverse psych them, one of the two.

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    • Reverse psych them? Tell me more..

    • Show All
    • People have done worse things, being infatuated with someone doesn't necessarily have an age; true he should have learned that long ago but never the less people lead different lives, and it's human to want something. goodluck.

    • Someone's afraid of their own feelings sounds like

  • ignore them or talk to them.

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  • Restraining order

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  • Depends on how bad it gets. Met my wife before social media and cell phones.

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    • Threaten a restraining order. People meet someone and they think they have met the messiah. When they freak out the other person or the feeling are not reciprocated they go bat shit crazy.

  • block them, or let them know that you want them to stop. usually just let them know unless they were an ass, in which case, they are feeling sorry for themselves or are desperate, so block them.

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  • jeez. just block the person

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  • tell him your going out on a date

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  • I use the block button

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  • ignore them

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  • Then you start over again

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  • call the cops

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What Girls Said 9

  • If they are harassing you, get a restraint order. But block their number. You have to take things like this seriously. I have seen so many cases of women getting murdered due to a psycho ex who will not leave them alone.

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  • 1: Bring another partner into the triangle to show to the ex you're over them
    2: Message them and lie saying you're taking the break up badly and need time then after the time say you've moved on (worked for me lol)
    3: Police (if it's severe)

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  • Ignore and ignore.. they have to give up sometime.

    Either that or I just get a restriction (for serious cases)

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  • I will be honest and say him to stop and he must accept that we finish 👣

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  • Restraining order.

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  • Ignore and block on everything

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  • I try to ignore them generally.
    In this situation I would talk to him again and be very rude to him to make it sure he know I don't love him anymore. Make myself seems like a "bitch" like this he wouldn't want to be near me again.

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    • You shouldn't do that, there's more ways to skin a cat

    • @Darknut123 With my ex it was the only things who worked. I know it's not the best but it work (most of the time).

  • I ignore them or ghost them but have issues with stalkers for sure even online 😓

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  • Call the police and get a restraining order!

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