Most Helpful Guy
i would at least he's masturbating to them more than likely I'm not saying I'm going to cheat we might have a discussion if that's what it call for according to the illness and if I had a been a good husband and she had been a good wife I'm hoping that we could have a trustworthy and intelligent conversation and she would understand where I'm coming from and love me enough to understand what I was saying I'm saying if my sexual needs became that demanding
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Most Helpful Girl
Yikes, I'm really sorry that you are experiencing this. My heart goes out to you. I'm no professional and I've never been married either.. but I'll try my best.
Wow, 30 years! I wouldn't just throw that away. Marriage is a bumpy road and it takes both parties to work hard to make it work. Before you found nude pictures, how was the marriage? Was he loving, grateful and appreciative towards you? Were you two very happy in love before all of this?
Most likely, if he was emotionally cheating on you, he feels dissatisfied in the marriage. This has nothing to do with you. You can be the perfect woman, but if a man wants to cheat, he will cheat. Its out of your control. Doesn't matter how great you are.
You have to figure out the root of the problem - why is he telling other women he has crushes on them and sending nude pics? These women must be comfortable enough with him to send nude pictures to him.
Possible reasons why a woman would send nude pictures: (1) he's been flirting with her/entertaining her for a while. He's an attractive man and she's trying to intice him even more.
(2) They've been sexual with eachother before. She's comfortable sending him nudes. He's feening for her.
First off, who is this woman? Is she from work? A close friend? A random woman from the internet? How does he know her.. because if he sees this woman a lot, it is worrisome. You know your husband better than anyone else on this website does. Women's inituition is a gift. Don't doubt it. We know when our men are lying to us, especially after 30 years... you know it in your gut.
Also, since you are dealing with a disability, you are blaming his unfaithfulness on the fact that your sick.. which you shouldn't. Men cheat on healthy, abled women all the time. After being in a marriage for 30 years, it can get stale and men miss the excitement of something new. Maybe this women made him feel sexy again, I don't know...
Anyway, this discussion has to happen with your husband. If he loves you, he will try to work this out with you. Even if it takes about a billion conversations about it until you have received all the reassurance you need.
If you think it was just pictures and that's it. He's never shown any other sign of cheating and he's always been a great husband otherwise... It's forgivable. If you can move on from it and grow together from this experience... it'll be worth saving the marriage. BUT if he gives you no reason to stay, then that's the reason you should go.