Please help me decide if this relationship is worth fighting for. You can't force someone to love you?

So my boyfriend and I are in a rough patch. Basically i kinda depended on him to help me out with money here and there you know maybe 20$ a month not a big deal. This was because I was going to school and couldn't work as much as I needed to. He didn't like that he was helping me out so I decided to delay school and get a second job. Now he complains that I'm always gone and he's lonely and I'm mean to him all the time. I explained that I'm not mean I just get irritated that I work 14 hours in a day he works 8. I come home the dishes are dirty the house is a mess and I have to come home and take care of it i don't mind doing it I just want him to be more thankful and willing to help cause things are hard right now for me. Basically today he was saying he didn't know if he wanted to be in a relationship cause I'm never home and he's lonely I said why don't you do something with your friends and if it's about my job I'll work less, or if it's about the house I'll stop nagging I just want you to help me out sometimes. He keeps saying he needs some time to think. I just don't understand you either want to be with someone or you don't. It's not like we fight over things that are a big deal. I just think this is ridiculous.


0|0
22

Most Helpful Guy

  • it sounds like he's selfish. keep in mind you're very young, and he probably is too. you should definitely not let your schooling suffer because of the quality of your relationship. he obviously doesn't appreciate how much you have on your plate right now and he isn't trying to make things easier for you. you shouldn't work less so you can spend more time with him. if anything is gonna change it should be him, doing his share in the relationship, cleaning the frikin dishes, and at the very least being understanding about how hard you're working. $20 a month doesn't sound like you are dependant on him but I may be wrong. if you can save that $20 in other ways then you won't need it from him. if he can't grow the heck up then the relationship isn't going to get any better than it is now. no, you can't force someone to love you

    1|0
    0|0
    • you can bring it up to him. tell him you're wondering if the relationship will survive, see if that will make him step up to his responsibilities

    • Show All
    • I did. He said I need to stop asking him he needs time to think.

    • How'd things turn out?

Most Helpful Girl

  • I like the guys' answers to your questions and agree - not worth fighting for and you can't make him love you. Why are you doing all this for him when it sounds like he does nothing for you? You got an extra job to avoid needing $20 from him and now he whines about the consequences of your working. He is spoiled. My mother taught me a saying that will freak everybody out here and granted I am from an older generation but it is true - "Don't be a wife to a man who won't be a husband to you!" That's what is going on here, so stop. Leave, focus on your education and a better man will find you. When he does, remember what my mama said so this won't happen again.

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • do you want to be in this kind of relationship in the long run?

    0|0
    0|0
    • I honestly thought everything was good. Kinda surprised me. He's definitely someone I wanan be with but I just don't know if he wants me and why he wouldn't.

    • Show All
    • I don't know how to answer that cause I wouldn't know how he feels towards me or my actions. And I try to ask him but his answer is always I don't know. How can I fix something or do anything different if I don't know how to fix it I've told him we have to talk things out of we want this to work.

    • believe me when i say i understand the frustration of talking to someone whose responses are just "idk" or "what do you want me to say?". the thing is, we have to be the mediator and guide him through the discussion.

      besides if you said that you don't know how to answer it, that means either he is not doing things in his own way for you or you are not seeing through his glasses enough. either way needs further reflection

What Girls Said 1

  • I think the relarionship is over :(

    0|0
    0|0
Loading... ;