Single mom with one child, I might have scared the guy I was dating?

Hi all,
So new to the dating world. We are both in our mid 30's. I have been divorced for a few years now and met a guy, who I ended up really liking and sharing emotions with. We (well I thought) had a great connection. He shared a lot of personal emotions and background stories too. He was all around a pretty decent guy. We had been dating for a few months and saw other about 2-3 days/nights a week. The last time he came over , my son ran up to him and they played together, he even brought over a book to read my son. After son went to bed we were on couch and relaxed (side note, I had already had a few glasses of wine :() I asked him, where our relationship was heading, we hadn't talked about being exclusive. He snowballed after I asked him this. Saying "his job isn't steady, I have a kid, he might not even be here in a few months with his job, he doesn't know." Thats when I said, " well you can leave if you want to." I didn't mean it that way, but again I was drinking wine. He really then started freaking out, saying "OK, I am uncomfortable, I am leaving." He was crying when he left, not obviously but I could tell. I didn't hear from him for 3 days. He advoided my calls and text. When he finally called he said, " he didn't think we were compatible," but that he still wants to be friends and continue to get to know me. But he said he wasn't sure if I could handle that and asked if I could. He then asked if I had anything to say, which I thought was odd. Well I messed up and a week later I texted him "Hey, lol, when can we hangout again, I miss our chats." He responded the next day around lunch time "I miss our chats too, haha. I hope you're well". I waited several hours and said, "Im doing well, thanks for asking. Hope all is well for you too."
Basically, did I scare the sh*t out of this guy or what? Just looking for opions because it was like slap in my face. He also has not returned my stuff, which he said he would mail?
So, I am weak! I asked him (text) if he wanted to meet up for lunch? He didn't respond until Thursday (today) at 11:00 am and he said " Hi, I need more time to thank about it... sorry for the late reply." Is this a good sign and what the heck?


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What Guys Said 3

  • He doesn't want to take responsibility in raising a kid, not even his own, not to mention - yours. But not everyone is like that. Girls like you don't "scare" me, I know you are a great wife material. Hope someone else will agree too :)

  • Initially he might have thought that you were trying to get rid of him and took. it bit personal, but i think he got over it.

    • Should I contact him or you think he got over as in "he got over me lol?"

    • Just contact him. and explain so that there is no misunderstanding.

  • You scared the piss out of him but, I have to say you did nothing wrong! I had it happen also and obviously it was me asking her because I wasn't to sure if I'd told her LTR is a yes, but I'm not getting married again. Well I was shocked at how this woman acted... she wouldn't even accept my ride home for her. I said OK, let me get you cab. She again said no and left. I ran into a mutual friend who told me "she thought you were going to ask her to marry her"? I damn near passed out in hysteria! He told her he's not getting Married again. Thats when she figured out what a fool she'd acted like. He says to me she wants to start over and I had to say I was working late nights. People are weird (yours) and stupid (mine) lmao.

    • So, it has been a week since I talked to him. Should I send him a funny text message or let him simmer a bit or just back off and let him call me?

    • Get your stuff back first, then I dont know? Figure out if the pro's outweigh the cons. I'm not sure about your situation. If you got your stuff already, let him call you. If you didn't...

    • He needs more time to think about what? A fucken lunch? Oh I'm sorry, but you don't want my comment. I'll just say I'm surprised probably as much as he is or more. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT...

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