How many times is it ok to forgive cheating?

I've caught my man sexting/ offering sex to other girls multiple times. I love him but is there any chance he can stop? last time i was so heartbroken and he showed no remorse


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you were heartbroken, and he showed no remorse, he's not worth the heart ache. Especially if he's done it multiple times. A second time is only okay if he's truly sorry.

    For your own good, drop him.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • In my honest opinion, more than once is too much. If he is repeatedly doing this, what honestly makes you think he would stop? Cheaters are selfish people who do not care about how their actions impact their partner or anyone else. You have to decide when you've had enough and then be able to stand up and walk away. A cheater will not change unless THEY want to themselves. You can't make him be faithful to you. By staying with him, all you are doing is reinforcing his behavior and sending the message that it's okay for to treat you that way because you won't do anything. Is that the type of relationship you really want to be in?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 51

  • the general rule is everyone deserves a second chance. but I don't agree with that 100%. relationships require trust. cheating destroys the trust. even if you give them a second chance and they never cheat again, the issue is never really resolved and as much as you try the thought of them cheating again continues to pop in your head sometimes for no reason at all. now think if you text them and they don't text you back for a few hours. suddenly you will get the feeling that maybe they are cheating again. where prior to the betrayal of trust you probably would have said "I hope they are ok and just forgot to charge their battery." so realistically the relationship was over when you found out they cheated. and if you felt heartbroken and that meant nothing to him that means you mean nothing to him as well. if he wasn't concerned with the hurt he caused you then there is no incentive to change his behavior. so he leaves happy and you leave with damaged self esteem. and we know low self-esteem equals high odds of getting involved with another person that will damage your self esteem even more.

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  • Once a cheater, always a cheater!

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  • You are giving excuses to yourself to forgive your husband. Do forgive him if you want to stick with him, but be prepared to have more tears and heartbreaks. You've got a 50/50 chance that it will work out to your favor in the end. If you can't stand his cheating, doesn't love him, don't want to live in? all the time, and is prepared to leave, then one cheating is more than enough. It is your decision to make.

    by the way, FYI, if a man admits that he cheats and there is no real reprecussion, it will only encourage him to ignore his spouse even more and cheat some more -cos' there is nothing to lose. Therefore, if you choose to stay, you better have one eye shut and don't ask.

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  • FORGIVE them and then FORGET the thought of ever getting back with them.

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  • AND he showed no remorse? Of course he won't... he doesn't love you. Period. Life is too short to put up with that when therss plenty of people who wouldn't do you like that.

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  • I would lose all faith in the relationship after the first time. Maybe some people are more forgiving than Me, and that may even be a flaw on my part, but I would say once is too many.

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  • Once, at best twice. "I love him" does not mean "I should be with him"

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  • If you're open to being in a polyamorous relationship, maybe try having a conversation about it with him. If not, DUMP HIS ASS! No matter how much you love him, he obviously has no respect for you nor does he care for your feelings. Is this really something you want to put up with? You deserve someone who appreciates you and respects you, someone who makes you feel GOOD because seeing you happy is important to them. And believe it or not, you deserve that! Breaking up may be hard to do, but it's not going to be any easier to stay with this heartless bastard.

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  • As long as mutual love lasts.

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  • he got to go , unless you don't pity him

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  • I think cheating is a very strong indication that there is a problem in the relationship, and just like anything else, "it takes two to tango". rather than simply say "how dare you cheat on me", and LET the relationship get further damaged or fail, why not investigate. Use the "5 why's" to investigate the root cause of the cheating, if the relationship is worth fixing, and what can be brought forth as a counter measure to fix the root cause.

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  • "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I'd go by that; once is horrible but can be understood. If someone keeps doing it, it's best to leave them. If your boyfriend has done this multiple times, I'd ditch him like toxic waste.

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  • I wouldn't give a chance i would move on , if i had a girlfriend who was sexting guys over the Internet i would move on. How could i give her second chances?

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  • You should leave him. If you believe your time is worth something, then you wouldn't let him waste it.

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  • Zero!

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  • Dump him right away.
    He isn't a guy worth trust. And even if you forgive him, the next time you will catch him again breaking your trust. So don't give him anymore chances.

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  • I say only forgive the first time and only do so if theyve proven that they intend not to repeat it. If they do it a second time then they obviously didn't intend not to repeat it

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  • Strike three. Once is curiosity, twice is a bad mistake, thrice is unforgivable.

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  • why waste time with such a guy, if he didn't show remorse first time how can he show it another time

    i don't think i can forgive cheating at all

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  • Zero times. The fact that he has cheated on you even once proves that he is not serious and doesn't value you in the same way. It will be tough breaking up as you already have feelings for the guy but it doesn't compare to the hurt you will continue to suffer if you stay with him. Bite the bullet now rather than be put down for good. There are so many guys out there who would be better for you I guarantee it.

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  • Zero

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  • How many times? um...0

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  • 6 ...

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  • Never ok to forgive cheating.. that is the one thing I could never forgive.

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  • Move on. That dude don't care about you. He's heartless.

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  • If they truly want to be with you then they won't go looking for someone else.

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  • Don't forgive... There was a conscious decision to do so, therefore he will repeat this when ever the notion takesnjom

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  • Zero, that's just how I feel

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  • If guys r only sexually attracted.. then you have to stay away with those duchebag bc then can make relations with other local girls just for intimicy.. and a temporary relation.. also they can flirt with your frndd and sisters.

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  • You don't!

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What Girls Said 34

  • In my opinion, it's never ok to forgive cheating. Have respect for yourself and leave this guy. You can do a lot better than a guy who doesn't care and has no respect for you.

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  • He doesn't need to have remorse. You make all the excuses he needs to get away with it.

    People treat you how you allow them to. Accepting him back after repeated behaviour shows that your not going to do anything about it and he can continue to do what he wants.

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  • Send him packing

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  • Forgive every time, but for your own peace. If he shows no remorse, it's time to move on. You are worth more than being stepped on.

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  • The fact that he showed no remorse is your cue to leave and to not forgive. That is fucked up next level.

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  • i would never forgive it

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  • I wouldn't forgive it the first time. That's one of those one time and you're gone forever things for me

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  • It's NEVER okay. Trust me, if he has done it once, he'll do it again. My ex cheated on me , then said sorry, I really regret it. It won't happen again.. Guess what? He cheated on me again.
    I know you're hurt and you still have feelings for him. But he's not trustworthy. He's not worth your time. Break up with him.. You deserve better 😕

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  • So this is twice?

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  • Can I Ask You Something? If You've Caught him Doing All that Shit, Why You Still With Him. Dump His Ass, Let Him Hoe Around. The Faster You Leave Him, The Better. There's Plenty Of Fish In The Sea (Cringe) :)

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  • The concern here is that it's been to more than one woman and the no remorse part is a problem too.
    Yeah my husbands friend was in an open marriage but his wife didn't know about it.
    Multiple times

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  • You know what they say, a guy who cheats once cheats again... You need to decide for yourself, but personally I would get the hell away.

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  • He's already proven that he's not going to stop if you've caught him multiple times. Kick him to the curb

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  • honestly it depends on whether or not he's willing to make it up to you. things happen that shouldn't and if he is worth even another moment of your time he better be kissing ass and truly trying to make a difference.

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  • It doesn't sound like he wants to stop! Probably best to move on

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  • I would say one time. After that, they are completely cut off.

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  • Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. One of my friends had forgiven her boyfriend THREE times and each time he cheated on her with several different girls at the same time. Each time I watched her cry and give her heart out to him and he just said I won't do again and ended up doing it two more times.

    Forgive and forget: Forgive the fact that he used and cheated on you, then forget him! Dump his ass!

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  • If he has cheated once, that should be it. You can't bank on him not doing it again.

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  • Zero

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  • Once if I am feeling generous. And both must pay.

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  • Precisely ZERO.

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  • Get yourself someone who values you.

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  • omg how can you stand it? i suggest to broke up with this assh0le

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  • Nope nada

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  • I think I could forgive cheating only once. I wouldn't forgive more than that.

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    • I don't think you should tolerate cheating even once

    • @kelvinmed if we were married I'd have to look past it. Plus if he truly repented and made amends to be better then I could possibly forgive... I know of other couples that stuck together even though there was some infidelity.

  • Once a cheat always a cheat. A leapord never changes it's spots

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  • How about 0 times? It doesn't matter how much you love someone. They obviously dont love you as much if they cheat even once. Love is an equal exchange.

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  • I think It's not okay to forgive this kind of people. They will never change one a cheater always a cheater. If he has respect you he would not hurt you but he did so you should not waste your time with him.

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  • If it's repeatedly being done then he's not going to change!!! I think forgive once if you can, but after that then it's game over. There is a man out there that will have so much more respect for you

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  • Twice

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