I'm not sure if he cheated on me?

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 4 months now and had originally started just hooking up and we both wanted it to be casual and not have anyone else know but we both started falling for each other and 4 months later he asked me to be his girlfriend and he told me that he wanted to do long distance with me and that he'd thought it all through before he asked me and that he was serious about us etc. It's been 4 months and I find out he hooked up with his ex during the month he asked me out (we were still hooking up then too). He never told me about it and I had to find out from others about it and I had to confirm that it had happened. When I confronted him about it he admitted to it but said that it was before he asked me to be his girlfriend and before he knew he was serious about me because he wasn't sure before, I don't know whether to believe him or not as his ex is a known liar and really manipulative and I know it to be true myself. His ex told me that they were still hooking up after he said they did and that it was more than one time (which he said it was) but that he stopped it. I don't know what to believe because his ex showed me a screenshot of her calling him over a few days after he asked me out, he said he never went but there wasn't any hinting at him not going in their convo. Throughout all this his ex didn't know that we were together or that we were hooking up as he'd told her that there was nothing else going on. And when she asked him about us dating he told her to not let me know about what had happened because he didn't want to create any problems with me. He never told me about all this and I'm having a hard time knowing what to do because I want to move past it but I don't feel like I can. He wants to still be in my life in any way possible but I don't know if I can, please help. Jbtw he was with his ex for 2 years and they broke up a year before all this happened and he'd already hooked up with other people before us.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • dump him believe what u see and u saw the call records and the outgoing calls proof enuf...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You should honestly just break up with him. You likely won't ever be able to completely trust him, and you'll just hurt yourself trying to keep the relationship together and going.

    There's a phone call made from her to him, maybe he declined, who knows. But it's clear that he's not being completely forthright and honest about his dealing with his ex with you. Also, I'd question his decision to keep a lying manipulative ex in his social circle, a guy only keeps a girl like that around for one thing, sex.

    The problem here isn't whether he cheated on you, the problem here is that you don't trust him right now. The fact that he wasn't transparent destroyed your trust in him. Trust is important in any relationship, but it's even more important in a long distance one. Without trust, you really should just break up with him. Also, having been in a relationship where he has conversations with his ex that he doesn't tell me about after we're dating and after he said he'd tell me about any conversations with his ex, the broken trust, it is really hard to deal with and the relationship ended up not lasting.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Lack of communication and loyalty.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yea just dump him.

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