Hey again, a few months ago I posted: my boyfriend is suicidal over me suggesting to break up, what do I do?
After a long time trying to reason with him, he still insisted on staying together, and if not he will kill himself. I gave him one last calm, reasonable text, and called my sister up, opening up to her about everything (know one really knew what was going on). She disabled all my social media accounts, so we would have no contact, and I left them off for 2 weeks. I felt insanely guilty, and re-enabled them, figuring it was time not to run away from my problems but deal with them. As expected, it was a mess, now I'm just so confused- I tried telling him we're not a couple, and how things will be okay, using the "calm" tactics I usually do when he gets upset, but he wasn't having any of it, and proceeded to call me disgustingly selfish, not the real me etc. I sent him another text, doing my best not to sound aggressive or mean, and apologised as well as reaffirmed my thoughts on everything and wished him the best and urged him to talk to his therapist, family etc. And that I'll always be there for him, I then texted his brother letting him know what's going on, now he's texting me saying I've made a huge mistake and him ending his life will be my fault- what do I do? What is the right thing? Are my actions that selfish?
Most Helpful Guy
I'd say that your boyfriends actions are the selfish ones, trying to blackmail you into staying by a threat to his life, which he knows you value and is so trying to emotionally manipulate you. I'd say your sisters approach was right, you've tried to be reasonable long enough. Just cut all contact with him and his brother, because he doesn't seem that reasonable either. If he does kill himself, it won't be your fault at all, it was because he was a weak coward.1
Most Helpful Girl
No you are not being selfish because if he is threatening to commit suicide if you break up with him then he is the selfish one for being unreasonable because even if he sees you as his rock he should learn to move on especially because it sounds like he is lying considering that if he was going to do it then he would have already done so by now it might sound harsh but if you've already said that you're done and said it several times and he hasn't done it yet then I doubt he will and it also sounds like he's emotionally manipulating you into staying so, no, I wouldn't say that you are selfish.1