This was my first love and we dated for 2 years. He was manipulative and would play so many mind games. He ghosted me after datinga year and I didn't hear from him for 4 months. It damaged me terribly. I had this unhealthy need to get him back and did... But I no longer felt significant or even like a girlfriend. I felt more like an obligation. It hurt to love someone who wasn't reciprocating your feelings. But I had been with him for so long that I was scared to leave and had the idea he would realize he needs to treat me better, the way he did when we first started dating. We were once so in love and I keep listening to the Adele song, "when we were young" because she talks about how her relationship once felt like a movie and a song. That was once what I had with this guy. And it just makes me sad to think about how happy we used to be and how it all just changed. Or so he did.. I so badly wanted him to be the person I once fell in love with but that's not who he really was. His attitude and the fights kept building up and I finally decided to put an end to this and was content with my decision. Lately he's been on my mind a lot though. I've been dating and it makes me hopeless. I keep getting angry at him because all he had to do was treat me right but he didn't. If he did, he would have been perfect for me. It's discouraging to date because guys my age don't want to connect on a deep level and don't want to put in any effort. It makes me miss the illusion my ex was. We have been broken up for 2 months and haven't spoken since. He said great things about me during the breakup but I felt it was just a manipulation tactic. He even said he couldn't see himself dating again because he put so much into our relationship that he didn't think he could do it again. Yet, I came across him on tinder... and I know he is not one to hook up. Why have I been thinking about him so much lately? The break up really hasn't phased me as much until now and it has been 2 months..