Should I wait for him to apologise?

My ex boyfriend and I have been talking again for months after we took a few months apart. We started to get really close again, I really love him and wanted to work on getting back together again but slowly as friends first, and he told me the same thing and he would flirt with me all the time and basically talk as if we were back together. However he went through a bad family issue and became depressed, and I have been by his side for years and I have supported him through this, just doing little things to make him feel better, like motivating him and sending him gifts and nice texts and ensuring he knows he's not alone. I tried my best to make him happy. I gave him so much importance and sacrificed my months to be there for him. I gave him space and was so understanding of his situation. He would tell me he doesn't feel like talking and I'd be okay with that. Now he's started talking to other girls and now I'm no longer his priority, and I asked why he was being distant and he'd make up excuses like I have no interested in my phone so I said, you can text other people but you barely reply to me and ignore me, and all I asked was not to be rude and ignore me, if he doesn't feeling like talking he could just say 'hey I don't wanna talk' and I'd be cool with that, and he was like fine I will. Then after that he just went on a spree of emotional abuse, really hurting my feelings and calling me cruel names. I was shocked, and I was after all I've done for you. So he just changed the topic, and started to tell me what he's up to, and I ignored him, then he text me twice again which he never does so I didn't understand. But I just told him to leave me alone, because he really hurt my feelings and it's not okay. He messaged back saying just ok and he hasn't apologised or even said anything. I don't want to text him for a few days, but I doubt he will text me realising how hurt I am. I'm just slowly going to back off but what should I do? Should I wait until he texts me


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  • Why not just move on? You're not well suited and he doesn't seem to be interested in a relationship with you.

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    • It's really hard to, I've loved him for years and I have tried moving on when I cut off all contact but it was too hard. We used to be bestfriends before we dated so I didn't wanna lose that, im okay with being friends with him at the moment as I didn't want to jump into anything quick again. We were great and it was all moving quickly and I was looking forward to everything we planned but as soon as his depression came around everything changed. I am just having an issue with the way he spoke to me and the way he's not appreciated the real people who have been in his life since day one

    • People don't need to reciprocate your kindness, I understand you think you've put a lot of your time and effort into this man but the thing is; that was your choice. He doesn't owe you anything for that.
      His depression has been around for some time but you continued to invest in him despite things being bad before.
      Sometimes we need to make choices based on what we want, not what we're willing to wait for people to give us. It doesn't sound like he can provide what you want him to, and do you really want to spend another few years of your life waiting to see if he can?
      Matthew Hussey has some great information on this if you're interested

  • No, you should talk about the way all of that made you feel. Why ignore it? Sweeping things under the carpet never works. And there's always a bigger pile of shit to be dealt with later.

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    • Also, try to refrain from reminding him of all the things you've done for him. Love does not boast.

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    • I can't because we are long distance, if I text him saying that, what could I say to talk deeper? He knows he hurt me

    • Speak on the phone then. Lot of things get lost and muddled through text. As for what to say to talk deeper about it, you know how you feel. You know how his actions and words made you feel, you have to try and convey that to him, in the clearest way possible. Only way you can talk deeper about it with him, is of you both have the time for a back and forth convo. Again, text isn't recommended.

  • It's hard to move on, but it will be even more difficult to let go of you let it continue.

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