Is it normal for a guy to act out his emotions on drugs and alcohol after breakup?

My ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. It was sudden and right after a fight we had for a few days and he gave me no reason why. Everyone was shocked because before this we were so happy and both of our families commented on how happy each of us were when we came into each others life's. We only ended up dating 4 1/2 months (he has been in 2 other relationships and they both ended within a few months and he claims they cheated or were crazy) I haven't been in contact with him for 13 days, I blocked him and his friends on all social media and deleted his number.

My friend went to a party last night and she said that he was there and that it looks like he went off the deep end. He was really messed up (he smoked weed before) but she said that she had never seen him like this and that he was so messed up on smoking and alcohol that he was just laughing to himself. He also mentioned doing acid and shrooms this coming weekend (he had done these prior to our relationship).

He also mentioned to her that it wasn't anything against me and that he is happy single and isn't going back and it just wasn't going to work out and it was the same **** and he didn't want it.

I am actually handling the breakup pretty well after hearing that but my question is, is it normal for a guy to act out his emotions on drugs and alcohol? Is this a way of saying he isn't ok and the breakup effected him? Do guys put there emotions off at the beginning until the cool off?

Up until this point I wanted him back but now I think I am just angry and ready to move on with my life. It seems like he wasn't getting his way with the fight (normally I am always the one that fixes it after a small argument) but I was really upset about this and put my foot down which made the fight drag out for 3 days when normally its a few hours and he saw I wasn't backing down and he just walked away.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • many people don't know how to deal with emotions so the drown them with drink or take it out on others, sometimes both.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah guys sometimes turn to drugs and alcohol after breakups but to me it doesn't sound like he's on those things because of you. He's been with other girls, the same time amount of time he's been with you. I'd think he'd be used to breaking things off. I honestly think it's because he has other issues in his life that are more personal. I'd like to think you were a distraction from what's really bothering him, like that alcohol or drugs he's also using.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 13

  • Its one of the few ways that people cope with something

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  • Frankly, this guy is a loser. Consider this a dodged bullet and move on and find a better guy.

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  • Pretty much, yes.

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  • No. It is not. I am curious as to if he broke up from impulse. Drugs impair judgement and cause people to make the dumbest mistakes. He might still love you. It's just he really needs help.

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  • No it's not normal. Real men don't do drugs and real men don't drink alcohol.

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  • Never did those things after a break up, just used the gym even harder to numb it

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  • guys act out different ways whatever floats the boat kind a thing we just don't want to feel anything post break up just want to enjoy ourselves and party hard but Ur guy seems doing things pretty hard but we eventually land back on our feet

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  • no that's not a right way don't bother about her let her go because more than her ur family and friends are deserving u if u start using drugs and and other stuffs your parents will more sad which worst compare to breakup so move on enjoy your life

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  • I think k it's normal for everyone but why do you care about your ex?

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  • No it's not normal

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  • He just got wasted, nothing to do with a break up imho

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  • Yes it is... however it's just not healthy

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  • sounds like you dodged a bullet..

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What Girls Said 6

  • Maybe I read too much between the lines but here, he definitively has some personal problems and he uses all of these things because he doesn't want or don't have the courage and support to face it. Or even fight against it. He took the easy way. I think he broke up with you to protect you from him. At least, from this side of him. He didn't want to hurt you in any way because of it. It's not healthy for you and he knows it. That's what I think after reading all of it again.

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  • He said it has nothing to do with the break up, sounds like he just wanted to go back to the free, single, party lifestyle honestly.

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  • nah
    but if he took it like that you definitely shouldn't ever get back together with him because it sounds like he may have a serious problem and even so, you definitely dont need to be the person to help him with it.

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  • That's his way of dealing. I think it's a temporary thing

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  • Intoxicating oneself is a way to numb your feelings, probably isn't the best idea though

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  • It´s not healthy, thats for sure...

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