Am I wrong or am I right?

So I've been talking to. my ex recently you know just making small talk etc... by my. real question is since she has a boyfriend am I wrong when i say there should be no point of me being in her life if she's truly happy with her relationship? Like there would be no reason for her to respond to me if she knows that the relationship she's in is what she wants? She's been messaging me for the past 3 days now. I'm not a homewrecker so I just don't bother messaging her even though we are friends. In my eyes I wouldn't think she would message me as much since I'm an ex and she has a boyfriend. Any opinions? Do you think she just wants to be friends or more? Do you think her boyfriend know a she's talking to me? Opinions welcome.


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think you're wrong about that at all. If she's happy with what she has now, and with the new person in her life, then she doesn't have to stay in touch with you.
    She could be doing it for various reasons, like if the breakup was on her side and her decision she may be regretting it or feeling guilty so she keeps in touch.
    She could be keeping you around as a friend since you are someone close she once shared something special with afterall. Maybe she isn't actually happy with the person she has now, and finds more comfort in speaking with you about certain things. There could be many reasons.

    But, do yourself a favour and do not be there for her if you dont want to be. You two broke up, and if she's giving you false hope of one day getting back together, or you're hoping she will change her mind and come to realize it's you she wants back, i'd recommend ridding her from your life. You need to move on too, and like you said, there's no significant point of being in her life if she's moved on.
    You deserve to be happy with your own life, and i don't think it's fair to you if she keeps contacting you and tries to remain close.
    Have a talk about it, and ask her what it is she wants from you. She may admit her reasons for keeping you in her life, but don't let that alter what you want and where you stand with her.

    As for her boyfriend, who knows. She probably wouldn't be open about staying in touch with her ex, but maybe they share plenty of things between them and it's something he is okay with. Whatever the reason, i think you should talk with her and clear things up.
    She really has no reason to bother you or rely on you anymore, if she has someone new in her life.
    It's not always a good idea of exes staying friends or keeping in contact after breakups anyways, it's more difficult and gets harder to move on constantly being in one anothers lives. Some make it work, but it has to be both parties that agree on it.

    I hope you're able to figure it out. Best wishes!

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    • I understand what you're saying. I check up on her every once in a while but for the most part she messages me. I don't need her in my life but I do think that like you were saying she wouldn't need me in her life if her boyfriend was giving her what she truly wants. I'm fine with being her friend. a lot of people I know say that if she didn't still have some sort of feelings for you then you wouldn't exist since she has a boyfriend. I can't make her text me and I can't make her be my friend. it's fine if you we talked like every once in a while but every other day is a lot in my opinion with all the other things added in.

    • Every other day does seem rather excessive to be chatting with you when she's with someone new now. I agree with your friends, she probably does still feel something for you and isn't ready to let go of you yet.
      I'm not sure what happened during the breakup, but sometimes mistakes do happen. If she was the one who initiated it, this new boyfriend of hers could be giving her a different opinion on the relationship you two had previously shared. Maybe it's not what she wanted, maybe she's not as happy with him as she was with you, or maybe she tried to move on too quickly, and is regretting it. Talk with her if you're open to, and if you're comfortable keep in touch. You dont have to reply right way, maybe take a few days here and there before responding back to let her know she doesn't have you there 24/7 anything and everytime she needs you.
      I hope you can figure out what it is exactly she's doing, or what she truly wants from you.

What Guys Said 1

  • You're in her bullpen, an insurance policy. If she dumps her current boyfriend, she can come back to you.

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