How does it feel for you to lose some one you love dearly and you just know in your mind he/her is dead?

i just lost the one i knew for almost 4 years and i have a feeling he gave up and he killed himself
he said he was done and i didn't want him to go but i feel like i'm to late for him to come back

how do you guys and girls feel about this?
How does it feel for you to lose some one you love dearly and you just know in your mind he/her is dead?
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